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stories biography escapes archives


the.girl


Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.

Screams
Sunday, May 28, 2006
oh gosh................
im suffocating from all those stress that is comin' my way now..i can feel the intensity of it...
ive studied for 6 hrs today..n im not gonna stop there..will study later...whats with those tests n quizzes man?there are 3 tests in total for next week.2 on tuesday n the other on wednesday.what the hell...both human biochem n genopt are on the same day.so stressssss....especially genopt.so many formulas to remember.from the day i study physics,i have never liked this subject before..n stupid genopt is all about physics..OMG...cut me some break man!6 chapters to study for genopt..n each chapter gets harder than the one before..more n more formulas that are tearing my brain apart..especially chapter 6..ive missed his lesson n i was in total blank when chris ng continued teaching.ffl n bfl...OMG....im goin' crazy.human biochem has 4 chapters to study n ive finished studying 3...i will finish the last one tonight.still not so bad...as for anatomy n physiology,i still left chapter 2 to study..finished chapter 1,3 n 4 already...quite happy about it...i havent touch on genopt yet...really no mood..but had to do so..after wednesday i will be freed!after school we are going to watch da vinci code for free and has free dinner too!so happy.
last night i attended some distant cousin's wedding dinner at sheraton tower.this was the most rainbow wedding dinner ive ever attended.the moment you step into the ballroom,you will feel as if you've entered a sacred place..somewhat resembles heaven...i drank liquor for the very first time..i asked my daddy for fun wheher i could drink red wine too and to my surprise he agreed without any thinking.i was so shocked man.....the taste was a little spicy n bitter.as the wine travels down my throat,i could feel a burning feeling..quite cool...i guess im addicted to it already..i love it..yy challenged me..saying that the next time i will go chiong..i said no i wont..well who knows right?haha..
im tired..energy level is running low.just feel like sleeping n dont ever wake up..forever n ever...........................................................im persevering until the holidays come..but holidays also does not mean time to enjoy for me..gotta 4 projects to complete.really stressful...............i need monkie.i really do.remember last year when i had tests n major exams,i will email him..wanting him to wish me all the best n even if he never say,his email alone is enough to give me the strength to hang on.but he said those encouraging words anyway=)i really need those words from him now..but im scared that i will be disturbing him..since coaching,i saw that he is very busy with his work and how tough training gets for him.so i dont want to disturb him and add on to his burden..with an email less to read,he can save time for many other things...i need him as my energy booster.just a word from him will be more than enough.he used to send me smiles but recently i sent him one n he didnt reply...haiz.................................................................what happen?coaching has started for the public camps...i didnt coach for this holiday...that means i will not be seeing him...WHAT THE HELL?!i miss him soooo much but how can i ever tell him?and what if i told him?he will just be cool about it and left only me feeling sad.does that mean i will never get a chance to tell him how i feel about him?perhaps the day will come when i finally can accept rejection.certainly not now because i dont know how i will react.but i guess just as much that he already knows that i like him.then why is he keeping dumb about it?he can just tell me straight in my face so that i can let go sooner.monkie....................................................................i like you....can you hear my inner screams?

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