if you see or think that sylvia has changed (abit), well, this may be true.
it has definitely got nothin' to do with me turning 21, or rather these subtle changes came at this period in time.
my daddy had told me before, that a chatty and cranky me is then the real me 'cause that's who i am at home.
however, if i suddenly turned quiet, it is either that im unwell or im in a bad mood.
for this statement, i gotta admit that family still knows me best..........

i realised that i've become more reserved ever since i returned to work after quitting school.
it's not that i dont want to connect to the customers, but somehow, i mean somehow, the connection is lost, the vibe is not there.
you know what?
even if others do not notice this change in me, i still mind about it.
i know im not like this.
though i am not known to be the epitome of a good PR person, i still possess a certain level of it.
im just frustrated that this 'fire' is not unleashed recently.
just like the old couple i met the other day, i used to communicate well with the elderly normally.
yea...'used to'...
but that day i actually lost my form and stumbled along.
this incident bothered me quite alot, to be honest.
i felt something when i first served them.
i felt that the old man looked stern and unapproachable and perhaps because of this, i sorta held back my words and actions.
i seriously do not understand why i care so much about how others appear to me........

i feel bad because instead of marching forward, which is what i ought to do now since i returned to work, im falling back.
what a disappointment.
something is really wrong with my heart.
now that i know where my problem lies, i do not know the cure.
i keep on wearing smiles, to appear friendly and approachable.
is this going to work?
they look fake since no one is convinced.

ok i guess i can describe my feelings more appropriately now that i thought of words to describe it.
"a sense of failure"
'cause nothing has been going right, not going the way i want it to be and indeed, i feel lousy.

above all, you know...
i tried out what gary has told me; do self-reflection.
it helps!
today i am happier :)

the thing about me is that i cannot pretend that something did not happen once it did, and shove it to the back of my brain.






ok moving on...(im combining 2 posts into 1)
i was so happy to receive my bday pressie from mr j!!!!!!!!
though it was nothing more than a cup of koi, it placed a high value in my heart.
really appreciated it.
i was touched by the happy birthday that he said twice.
this dude is worth to befriend! :)
had i known that he's coming last night, i would have dressed up nicer yesterday.
haha.
i am not a princess.
i do not just love expensive gifts.
even the most commonest thing can weigh as much as an exotic stuff to me.
i do not go for material wealth.
i only go for true sincerity :)

-240910-1706

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But i would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No there's nothing that i wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy make your dreams come true
Nothing that i wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

-210910-0012

people say 期望越高，失望就越大。
我现在都不敢期望什么了，就连许个生日愿望，我只求大家健康快乐。。。

-200910-1528

this little girl is praying.

me too.

im praying to god that my granny can recover, or at least back to her usual normal state.

to be honest, the news about her having cancer came devastating to me.

i thought it was just a case of pneumonia which could be treated with medication but who would have thought that it spelt something more than that? hopefully the biopsy diagnoses benign state, then at least it sends us some relief.

it must have been tough on my grandma these few days. looking at how she struggles with the slightest movement on the hospital bed saddens me. i just hope that she comes home soon. home is still the sweetest haven after all.

-140910-0136

for a few minutes, i was crying non-stop.
could not stop the tears from flowing......................
my nostrils, my eyes..were like taps that run water.
haha.
all thanks to notti.

i was counting down to midnight, hoping that before the clock strikes 12 notti can wish me a happy birthday.
at 11.58pm, i received his message.
yes, again...notti, u were always the last one.
it was his message that triggered those tears.
nothing could explain how touched i was at that moment to set those tears of joy free :)

hey, actually what is the logic behind with being the last person to wish another a happy birthday?
what's the significance?
just be notti, i guess.

but this year jason beat notti in sending the last wishes.
lol.
what's the competition here about huh?
fighting for the last place?
hahahahahaha.

nevertheless, notti.....im still in love with you, deeply.

-120910-0125

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

i just dedicated a song to myself.
a light-hearted song for a joyous occasion, i couldn't love it more!
catch rynn's basanova version of 靠岸 in his unplugged live tour posted on my facebook wall.
enjoy...!

i have a birthday wish.
just minutes ago, i was typing in an empty conversation box with notti.
he was obviously offline, duh.
yet i was penning down my birthday wish there.
lol.
my all-time wish is still there, in my heart.
unless i've found someone new, the wish will always be made for him.

this year, i have one more wish.
i hope that my ah ma will be well and sound....right now, i just hope that she will recover soon and come back home.
i wanna watch "ai" with her.....

above all, i wish myself happy too!
being happy is the emotion i need most.
i gotta smile like this :D!

-110910-0045

be it on 11sept or 16th sept or 17th sept.
i feel that something is lacking........
feeling abit hollow inside....
but i know that my colls and rena have put in great effort in organizing this bday party.
thanks dears!

the most impt person couldnt come
and there's still no news from him yet.

maybe i'll call some peeps out for a drink.
21st bday should mean alot more, but to me it's just another normal day.
no activity, no plans, no fun.
haha.
it's just about telling people "yeah, im 21 this year."
a figure equals to another milestone, that is it.

-100910-0108

im not really into horoscope actually, but a hk drama arouse partial interest in me to fish out more details in this constellation thingy.
and i got to know of a particular quiz in facebook which my friend took that helped you to find your perfect match.
i did mine.
my "nearly perfect partner" is cancer and the "opposites im attracted to" is aquarius.

quite true about the latter.
notti is one good example.
we are totally opposites yet crossed each other's path.
hmmm..im not too sure about cancer.
dont think its accurate though :)
where got such thing called nearly perfect partner huh?


8th sept today.
no news yet........................................

-080910-0102

arghhhh!
gastric pain!!!!!!!
must be the 9 hrs of starvation each day for 2 consecutive days.
this is called power!
gotta see dr han tonight.

other than that, actually i've got something to say.
hmmmm...just felt that right........
let's talk about tea since we like it.
tea itself is tasteless, but once it is infused with sugar/flowers/fruits and stuff, it is totally different.
i love jap green tea.
though it is tasteless to most of us, im just in love with it.
with or without jasmine is fine.
but now, it is back to tasteless again.
as tasteless as plain water.
maybe my tastebud is weird.
ask you something k...
is sylvia weird to you?
do i seem like i have 公主病?

but as i said before, im going to be different this time.

-070910-1825

let's talk about tonight.
nice weather. nice company and nice songs :)

went to sing k with colleagues and part timers at bugis.
i gotta say this was the biggest group so far.
and the biggest ktv room too! hehe.
though we ended early 'cause some of us are working tomorrow, it was a great night out nevertheless.
the biggest credits definitely go to gary for making this possible.
smiles :)

on a personal note, i really love singing k.
i may not have a good voice or good singing skills but i just love to sing.
my toilet at home used to be a good training ground for me to sing but now i differ.
i do not want my neighbours to complain if i sing too loudly.
hehehee..
so now i had found a better place, which is the ktv room.
i can amplify my voice with mic and even if i sing or scream or shout, passers-by do not mind.
i just wanna sing sing sing everything out of my heart.
so shiok................!!!
singing is a good exercise cum de-stress outlet to me
what say you?

amazingly i thought of something just now.
this time, i will not be the same anymore.
the past is a loser.
it is just a game afterall:)

dont think you guys understand this. hehehe..
never mind, i understand jiu hao......*victory*

take a bath and sleep well, girl.
tomorrow will be a better day!

-070910-0055

think i gonna get fat.
sometimes i feel that singing one's praises all the time may not always be a good thing.
example like praising someone who can still maintain their figure despite eating alot...
that kind of stuff, you get me?
'cause who knows, that person may suddenly balloon up.
ok, maybe im superstitious or maybe guilt is playing tricks on me.
i just sinfully finished a cup of instant noodles minutes ago for supper.
so dead :X
the older i am, the lazier i get to exercise.
gosh!
do you know how much i appreciate my sec school now for making us do morning runs around the large canal in the past?
tough but beneficial manz...!!!

it was already 3 days into the roadshow week.
keeping oneself busy is good sometimes you know?
at least i wont let my mind wander off too far.
however, uncle foo brought up notti today.
unexpectedly.
i suddenly recalled some things.
i confessed to him once but earned his rejection.
now that uncle foo had asked me, ya.....what was the reason he gave?
he didnt give me a solid reason and i thought age could be it.
or maybe he did not love me enough?
anyway, that's over.
confession is just a way of life.
without confession, my feelings for him will still remain.

uncle foo said i haven't found someone i really like.
not true.
i really love him alot.
it was him who painted a beautiful world for me and i was like the princess happily falling in love.
he made me feel loved, the kind of feeling which i didnt get from my exs and because of this reason, my past relationships didnt last.
because.................there wasnt true love at all.
very different.
to me, he's like the ninja who mysteriously appear in my thoughts now and then for no rhyme or reason.
i just miss everything about him.

notti, when will u be coming again?
can i just buy an air ticket, fly to KL and give u a real tight hug?
it is already september now..............
where have the miracle powers that encircled me all these while gone to?
im going insane.....!!!

-020910-0127

HATES!
-LIZARDS
-players
-unreasonable toots
-almond
-going for morning class
-being treated as transparent

LOVES <3
-baking
-cosmetics
-boozing (w/o getting a heavy head!)
-people who dote on me
-acts of service

Not looking anymore other than a stupid notti.

hey, if you know me well enough, i bet you'd LOVE ME!