seeing my sisters around me all having a bf/fiance, im hopelessly looking for mine too.
you know, there is this sudden urge to start a relationship but that right person is not around.
i've got my eyes hooked onto him, lips locked into his and heart mingled into his.
he's the one i love but im not the one he loves.
sighs.
sisters are helping me to start afresh but the question is whether or not i am ready and willing to give up.
nottttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

-260210-2305

it's supposed to be double joy today.
first was my successful application into uni and the latter was the sms from notti.

after i hang up the call from UM, the image that i first saw in my mind when i was just about to pick up my phone to share the joyous news, was.....surprisingly notti.

it's not even my dad,mom or bro.
just then i paused and dialed my dad's no. instead.
some things are ridiculously unexplainable.
why am i so anxious to share with him my happy moments?

anyway...perfectionist sylvia would like him to call instead of sms.
i think humans are plain greedy.
even though an sms is good enough to at least hear from him, i thought that his voice will be what i really want to hear.
his tone,his sincerity and his feelings..............................................

hmmm...i could sense and feel that things aren't the same as before.
i guess, a barrier was built on purpose.
to keep me at where i am, in a place that im supposed to be, definitely must be.

good night notti,
my dearest.
ilu.

-110210-0152

in front of other people's eyes, i may be a siao ding dong who's crazy about going-to-KL thingy and all day long she hopes and plans for just a short trip there to see notti.
do you guys know that im very serious about it?
i hope that it's not just the words and plain hopes that keep me saint.
i mean it.
lets put it to action, shall we?
i've got the money and passport ready and i'm always on the stand-by mode to fly (hahaha..just like an air-stewardess..)

perhaps....and perhaps maybe some things can be settled once and for all.

i think im sort of prepared for the worst. 3/4 of my heart chides me to let go of everything but the last bit of it conflicts a hopeful and positive ending.
i still hope that one day he will say that he loves me.
it will really be love.....love.
im so sad.
rena and none of my colleagues support me.

you know what?
i wore the blue dress today.
the same as what i've worn on the 1st trip 2nd day when i sent you off.
the MORNING and the day..........................
i will not forget every single detail.
like how u kept my shivering hand in your pocket..
to me, thats my version of pocketful of sunshine.

-080210-0035

HATES!
-LIZARDS
-players
-unreasonable toots
-almond
-going for morning class
-being treated as transparent

LOVES <3
-baking
-cosmetics
-boozing (w/o getting a heavy head!)
-people who dote on me
-acts of service

Not looking anymore other than a stupid notti.

hey, if you know me well enough, i bet you'd LOVE ME!