fuck off.
stop rubbing it in..
im feeling vexed enough can?!
lappie was a matter that happened eons ago ok?!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-291106-2213

shitty day.
never wear covered shoes. forgot there's lab session.sneaked into the lab and quickly put on a labcoat.in a rush to get out of the lab 'coz i scared that yang meh meh would chase me out. luckily he had not reached the lab then.
confusion.
what brand should i get for the ophthalmoscope?maybe welch allyn is good.
anger.
with myself.
stress.
it has always been.more persistent these few days.
doubt.
who am i in your eyes?
sad.
at the slightest memory of you.tears flow,ya noe?

-291106-2003

Recalling what had happened two days back..

I went to Great World City with daddy and rena on sunday. On the way down, in bus 16, i was made a joker. Upon alighting at the destination, I got up from my seat and was walking towards the exit. To my horror, the bus suddenly braked and the initial response would be to grab onto something right? Instead on grabbing the handle, I accidentally did a hairwash on someone. Ya now what? As I was desperately looking for something to grab onto, I scratched his head with my long fingernails. I was so embarrassed that I didnt dare to turn back, hence I used my peripheral vision to look at him. I could see that he was staring at me.Argh......Was i scrapping his scalp?Haha..I was wondering what would happen if he was wearing a wig then? When i alighted, I was laughing hard....hahahahaha~

Yesterday's microbiology practical was damn funny too. Yang meh meh told us to collect bacteria from toilet/sewage/drains/sweat. The cleanest method would be to collect sweat right? I actually thought of going to the gym above FC3 but those macho macho guys stunned me so I went to the sports hall instead and saw a few guys playing badminton. Hmm..I 'attacked' the isolated one. He was damn 'gong' can....His reply was "um.." if not, "orh..."haha..But god blessed him. His sweat was rather clean.

TODAY.wowwwwwwww..what a happy and fuitful day in school. Firstly, I saw the heroic side of someone. Now i finally understand the term "saving the damsel in distress" for I saw this is that person, but I'm not the damsel. Secondly, I saw cube!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FINALLY after so many days.....If I'm not wrong, I think he skipped lesson..haha..As usual, his smile melts my heart.*faint*okok..ruth will think im mad again.hehe....

You know..sometimes it feels really good when something cheers you up from the stress that you're gettin'. Your problems froze momentarily as it left you a minute or two to truly smile. This brings a significant amount of warmth to your heart.......................................



















i take it as a compliment. you're the superman!and also the fireman.
your smile stole my heart away, you toot!thanks for still looking at me when you're leaving.
you made my day.

-281106-1718

Finally finally finally bought a dress for church wedding. I saw a green tube dress at ZARA but will i look like a christmes tree in this festive season?haha. Instead, i bought a white floral dress from ESPRIT in the end. hehe gonna show the demure side of me when i wear dresses. Must search for another dress for wedding dinner next week and heels and accessories to go with it. ZARA ZARA, my dress is gone! where's that orange-white dress??????????????









a princess in the mirror.

-261106-1544

If wishes came true, everything will be different. However at the end of the day, i would have missed the things that had happened. I guess playing the merry-go-round game accounts for the human nature. We just love to play this game. Some people achieve what they want effortlessly while some took great pains to go a great distance just to reach the point of their target. What kind of person are you?
As humans, we gain and lose at the same time. No matter how hard we play to win, loss is still something we must accept. This only makes it fair for everyone. While we may be envying someone else for their looks or brains, we have a winning chip too, but its just a matter of whether we realise it or not. Plain envying is not as good as feeling blessed ourselves for having something that others don't and it will be sufficient to appreciate your existence more.
I am who I am.
























If wishes came true, i guess by now i would have found my way to happiness. I would have been the most fortunate woman ever in this universe. I would have no regrets in my life. By the time I die, I would be smiling as I had not lived my life in vain. Simply because there was you.
Thanks for the "theory".

-261106-0004

2 more years and I gonna fly!
I just saw the notice pertaining to the recruitment of the graduating batch to join Singapore Airlines cabin crew. How I wish that 2 more years down the road, the same notice will be up again. Hmm..if not for that requirement which says that it only applies to the 2007 graduating batch, i fulfill the other requirements. I wait.

-231106-0011

Burp~I'm so full..I gorged down a really huge amount of food just now. Guess that the amount is too big for my puny stomach to contain. I just came back from the CLS Entrepreneurship Talk. Funny as it was, I got to see 3 different kinds of speakers. I termed the 1st one as 'gu niang', or otherwise gay. 2nd one was rather ok and the 3rd was a joker. I got back my results for the 1st GEMS presentation today. It wasn't too bad, taking into account that almost everyone scored the same, but I wasn't very pleased with it as I felt that I could have done better. Who's to blame and what to blame? Myself for not grasping the foundation of presentation skills well and on the whole, my group for doing the project on such a poor topic. Pardon me to vent my frustration because our theme was rather lousy and it actually came from the group's brainstorm. I did not favor the idea right from the beginning but what to do, the majority always wins. Anyway, the lecturer awarded me a plus point for having good eye contact. Not too bad though.

The neighbour living a storey below my granny's house is awfully irritating! The woman's voice is as loud as the thunder, and I guess everyone could hear her scolding her child. You know how she punishes her boy?She actually locked him up in the house, after which she brought the other two kids out of the house. When I left my granny's place, I was happily singing a song, then the 2 kids looked at me pitifully. I initially felt embarrassed but later as i walked along the corridor, I could hear the boy banging against the window, trying to get out and he was screaming for his mommy. Talking about this, do you think this is an appropriate way to discipline or punish a child? Well who knows that the boy may be a naughty brat but i feel that this way of punishment is very heartless.
This thing happened to me before when I was much younger. I forgot what I did to get on the nerves of my mom until she locked me up in the toilet. Being locked up within such an enclosed place really frightened me. Psychological fright made me feel as if all the air had left the place and it left me feeling breathless. Ever since this incident, I'm very scared to be locked up. Another similar incident happened. When my brother and I were playing hide and seek at home, he locked me up in the storeroom. Can you imagine? The place was even smaller and it was pitch dark then. I was frightened like hell, so much so that i wasn't able to think that I could actually turn on the lights.

Things like these do happen because the parents take this as a channel for punishment. In the heat of the moment, they did not think how much it's going to impact in our lives. Yes, we may change for the better by being more obedient to our parents later on, but who can guarantee that other than this change fear/phobia is not going to haunt us?




























finally.
today is the day.
happy birthday!
hope you realise it.
:)

-221106-1944

oh man...im so vexed today.....argh!
because of IT, im bothered by IT throughout the day and IT made my day so damn frustrating.some people may think that it's not a big deal to see IT but IT matters to me so much that IT left me feeling lost and helpless at that moment.i appeared normal,but deep down im not.im either in a daze or that information processing gets stuck somewhere in my head.i want to forget all about it but the images kept haunting me.gosh..my impression of THAT person is totally gone,if not already half destroyed.in other words, I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW! so sudden and out of the blue.TERRIBLE TERRIBLE!



c'mon..tell me HOW TO ERASE AND CLEANSE MY MIND??????????BRAINWASH ME IF POSSIBLE!


















stunned.no comments.

-201106-1834

Now i agree to the statement chocolates indeed can lift our mood. I ate chocolates for lunch because i was too bored at home, hence was feeling rather down. Meiji's bitter chocs really change everything! Guess what? My mood for the day improved and the idea of opening a blogshop together with rena struck me again! Mix&Match was born on 18/11/06.

http://mixnmatch-.blogspot.com

hmm..in the past we bought things on impulse and now we ended up selling them 'coz we find that we don't really need them. Anyway, this is just a headstart so there ain't many things up for grabs yet but there's more to come! Have your eyes fixed on the updates and inform me if there's any product to your liking yea? Do support us!:))











3 more days.

-191106-0149

Pathology and Physiovisual tests were finally over.im awaiting the next test, which is report writing. Citation scares me though. When i was revising for the tests yesterday with Ruth in the library, she read bilirubin as 'robbiebuble' and hypoxia as 'hypo-oxia'. Yes i know that she mixed up robbie williams with michael buble. At least this joke had a good impact in reducing tension.

I thought I had it all planned well and with no barriers along the way, I could begin the smooth-sailing journey. I was wrong, however. I only came to my realisation after a talk with boss. His words made me feel that I could have planned my journey well and better. To be honest, I'm stuck at this cross-road junction once again. My plans are too general and I need to probe deeper into it. He made me feel that there are so many things I can pursue under the horizon. Yes, I believe that i have the ability too. But hey, what's stopping me then?

Freedom.

I feel that i want to do certain things and they could be within my ability but freedom obstructs me from going with the flow. Can you leave it to me to make my own decision? I do not wish my entire life to be encircled around limited things. I want to lead a colorful life which is full of enriching experiences for me to truly appreciate the meaning of LIFE. I want to take up different jobs and challenges. I want to see the world more. I want to gain more knowledge. I want to meet more people.
Attractive---->looks+brains+personality. That's what I want to achieve.













i want to FLY in the sky. you know it.
4 more days:)

-181106-1908

hmm..being a FOX model sounds appealing to me...
should i?
i can get both hair and makeup services as a whole..










doc?
8 days more.
-141106-2218

Generally, my mood has beeen good these few days. That's the way man! Be a happy girl as nothing beats being cheerful all day long. I'm listening to Jason Mraz's "Wordplay" now and i suddenly feel that my mood connects to the light-hearted melody very well. I actually thought of going down to office this afternoon but the rain obstructed me. What a weather! Yes, it keeps opposing me by sending a downpour whenever I finally made up my mind to go out. I guess teenagers nowadays dread to use their brollys. The irony is that they choose to get drenched rather than taking a minute off opening thier bags and take out their brolly. That's just so true of me. I don't like rainy days because they are so much of a hassle to deal with. First problem comes with our shoes getting wet, especially to those who are waering open-toed shoes, you will defintely hate getting a 'sandy' kind of feeling on your toes. yucks. Second problem comes when poeple simply don't know how to walk properly on rainy days. Most of the time there will be huge puddles of water everywhere and some jokers stepped on them so hard that the water splashed on us. Third problem affects the women more. Especially those who wear short skirts or shorts, your beautiful legs will attract the dirty stuff from the rain no matter what and you'll have a a hard time wiping them off. Hmm..so wear pants instead? Most likely.

As for those who choose to walk in the rain like me, you must bear the consequences of fading makeup on your face (if you're wearing one) and getting sick. If you feel that rain adds a romantic ambience to you and your partner, then walk in it.Haha....and get sick together.Aww..so romantic. I'm thinking otherwise. Why not share a brolly together? I feel that it will be more romantic when two people squeeze together to share an umbrella. ^^

Cheer up, my friend. How I wish I can share my joy with you...












you made me happy.
11 more days :)

-111106-2255

hmm..how should i put it?im feeling very very very happy, as if all the other joy in my life had faded, only to emphasize what im feeling right now.sweetness penetrates deeply into my heart as though it was fed with countless boxes of chocolates.oh ya..talking about chocolate.i had a huge share of chocolate cake from gary(thanks to suat hoon!haha).imagine savouring that whole piece 30 mins after lunch.it was damn filling but nevertheless the cake was tremendously tasty.we were smart to eat it with fruits.i ate 1 strawberry and 2 grapes.actually i wanted to eat the other strawberry,but gary was faster than me.hmpf.ok never mind,i gave in to the birthday boy....fortunately,my agar wasnt too sweet.birthday boy said nice so..hurray!i passed.yay!!because of the big fat cake,i ended up eating nothing for dinner.too full for anymore stuff to territorialize my stomach.

hehe..who would have imagined that i worked morning shift today?surprisingly i managed to force myself to get out of bed.the thought of today being a very special day lifted my mood and hence,i could not wait to quickly begin this brand new day.the usual me would still be snorting away in my lalaland..........the night before, i was worrying over my agar.whether or it will be tasty, the verdict will be passed by the person who taste it. *heaved a sigh of relief*i met suat hoon early in the morning..yep..10am is the time when the sun hasn't even risen (that's the logic in SYLVIA's dictionary.i gotta live with it.haha).i kept yawning the day through. it was worst especially when i keep eating non-stop.first was the fried rice and black chicken soup,then was the hot barley drink and finally the gargantuan cake.well..you cant blame me for being a piggy.you should thank the weather for being so nice to me.haha.


















your words really made sense.
where should i proceed next?
i dont want to be stuck in this whirlpool of confusion.
neither do i want to remain satisfied with the superficial.
do you know that you motivate me once again?
it was so effortless.
but the words stood with power, which is what i needed most.

-091106-2052

i really do miss coaching.
november comes and i could remember that at this particular period of time last year,i was taking my o levels.time flew really fast and this means that the first and only time i coached was 1 year ago.alot of flashbacks past my mind and i sorta miss every single thing,every hug,every greeting,every rara,every moment.those were the times i cherished and i dont know when i can embed myself into such warmth,into the family again.the most frustrating thing is that im forbidded to do what i truly love.people keep asking me when i can coach again.my reply would be "i'd really love to,but i cant.sorry".when will i be able to say "catch me in the next camp!"?
for now,i guess i can only be a visitor...not an A.coach....not the one wearing the ak shirt and the name tag......







passion

-081106-0039

9.16 am.i finally found the ice cream cup!yippie!everything's going according to my plan smoothly.hope not to have any hiccups tomorrow because that's the result slip i'll have to produce.im a good disciple ok..hmm..i gotta finish up the ice cream tonight.just a few kilos wont kill right?haha.its exaggerated lah.






surprise!

-071106-0931

sweet joke.
you've got a sense of humour!

-071106-0015

today's my first attempt in making agar agar.below are some pics which show the first 'draft' done by rena and me.nice?hmm..through the process of making agar, i realise that in doing simple things like this, we must still give our 100%.we did layered agar,just like the '9-layered cake' and every step is very crucial.one single mistake done and everything will be screwed up.a particular step gave me a deeper understanding of what it means to be patient and meticulous.the process is is called 'spreading'.we can jolly well pour the liquid all at once, but the agar will not be as nicely done up as compared with using the method of spreading.all it takes is just a few more seconds of careful and precise work and the effect will be very different.rena and i got our fingers stained with the colouring and the worst thing is that i cant wash them away.forget about it.i will be making another agar in a few days' time,so it doesnt really matter if i get rid of the stains now or later.well,my agar may not be as delicious as those top-notch ones but im very proud of my own work simply because i know that i had put in all my sincerity and well wishes.however,rating will only depend on the recipient.haha.rena and i gave names to our agar which are 'champagne agar' and 'cary agar'.well done.haha.

have you ever wondered how 2 people can become bonded?perhaps it all starts with something called chemistry.yes, im beginning to get the picture.we may know that it is through chemistry that people bonded,but how often do we get a chance to probe deeper into it and feel for ourselves?it is only when a particular thing like this happens to us,that we begin to realise that there's more to the 'theory'.to find out how well poeple can get along with each other,we do a checklist on possible factors like age,status,wealth,backgroud,common interests etc....just to name a few.by right,it's the common stuff that link people together but through some experiences, i came to an understanding that chemistry overwrites the above fallacy.what an irony!so what if we have common interests?so what if we have common background?when chemistry comes, anything like those will be wiped away.now it seems to me that differences are the bridges to bonding.does that sound similar to the theory in which magnets work?unlike poles attract,like poles repel.

if A and B have the same kind of differences in relating to C, how come C gets along so well with A, but not C?why?yes.chemistry.











pure envy.

-051106-0042

GOOD NEWS!!!!(in fact only to me)
yay!i've installed a new air conditioner for my room.it's way more quieter than the previous one and i guess my sleep nowadays shall be undisturbed.
you know something?time can actually make a person have a sense of attachment to an object too.though the new aircon does not produce any noise, i do miss the noise made by the previous one.it's like all of a sudden the whole room becomes totally quiet, just like a heart that stops beating. i cant help but gotta adapt to it for a while.

yep.i gave my bloggie another new outlook!this may not be the best blogskin i've encountered but the catchy thing about this is that it portrays simplicity and of course not forgetting that it has my favorite color purple. i gotta learn how to create my own blog skin someday.......definitely,the star feature of it will be none other than my pics!haha. when i saw ruth doing her web design, i could not resist the temptation of wanting to create my personalised web page.the flowery thoughts about those background, floating text, flash etc could not fade away, but could only tickle my mind now and then.i can only give ideas to ruth for the time being.as for the html portion,wait till i grasp the concept and my web page will emerge!haha.

i just had this passing thought that fate sometimes can be deemed as ruthless and harsh to what's actually happening in reality. do you agree that fate can wreck someone's future? take for instance 2 people A and B. fate is favourable to A but not to B. in fact, it's actually pre-destined somewhere,somehow, that this is the outcome these 2 people gotta face now. sad to say, B is the poor soul whose supposedly bright future might be badly punctured with a hole.

anyway, im glad to say that i've survived till the e-learning week.however, there are piles of work already awaiting me.........DWIT!









this is not called giving up.
i just merely loosen my grip.
give me more time & i'll
let go.
completely.
for as far as i believe.

-041106-0011

HATES!
-LIZARDS
-players
-unreasonable toots
-almond
-going for morning class
-being treated as transparent

LOVES <3
-baking
-cosmetics
-boozing (w/o getting a heavy head!)
-people who dote on me
-acts of service

Not looking anymore other than a stupid notti.

hey, if you know me well enough, i bet you'd LOVE ME!