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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010
哪里能找到 永远温暖的拥抱谁在牵挂着 孤单远行疲倦的红娘 哪里能找到 受伤时候的依靠 有谁能让我 烦恼的事都不再烦恼 爱不需要理由 懂得珍惜就能够拥有 为我敞开的双手 爱不需要理由 懂得珍惜就能够拥有 只有家为我等候 有一种味道 能让我想起年少 有一座城堡 包容原谅所有的争吵 这爱无法取代 不求回报的关怀 原来爱一直都在 原来家一直都在 this is the very first song he sent me. frankly speaking, i almost forgot all about it til i searched through my music folder and stumbled upon it. the melody still warms my heart after all these while :) i never forget about this song, notti, have u? 2 yrs plus had flown by... n i realised that the biggest part of my memory is owned by you. from the start of a new relationship til it fell through, you have always been here, in my heart. Monday, January 25, 2010
off for 2 days.what am i going to do after i woke up? eat...and drinks? suddenly thought of buying a few cans of beer home. to notti: life without you still goes on, but a lil bored. you once added a splash of colors to my life, yet now you painted it grey again. why? -250110-0033 Thursday, January 21, 2010
 things are not so smooth. 1st up, i hate my fringe. and my friends said it doesnt look nice. so dead..... why are changes so hard to be accepted? nvm. 2ndly, 2 months later i'm going to do something that's against my wish. lets say if im being accepted tomorrow, i wonder whether or not i will enjoy my days in school. im beginning to feel the pressure for tomorrow's (err...i mean later's) interview. edison said think of the future aspects once i graduate from the course. but but............. the problem is i dont see them. my heart feels weird right now. its no wonder i dont get the kind of anxious anticipation. 2 years will pass very soon. but 2 years of not being able to do certain things stretches time longer than what it is. so how am i gonna pass the interview when i cant bring myself to say those heartfelt responses. u get it? the feel isnt right!!!!!!!! can i say that im being forced to apply for the degree? this is then what i truly think. i know that im not going to stay in this trade forever. i may set up my own optical/apparel shop, do some voluntary work, be an air-stewardess, join the media industry, be a model etc........... i like these better manz......... do these need a degree? and i thought of notti again. hmmm..these few days are slightly busier and hence i managed to successfully push him a lil bit further to the back of my brain. but i happened to see his pic tonight. it triggered images of him that im trying to hide myself from. he's offline but silly me still opened the conversation box and guess what? i typed and backspaced my message.to and fro though i really wanted to tap on "enter". but once again, so what if i sent out my message. i know that i wont get a reply. hmmmm..how to describe it? message bottle that drift from shore to shore? from sg shore to kl shore. its something like that. -210110-0050
Sunday, January 17, 2010
 sylvia's recommendation for a chill-out song: Hometown Glory by Adele coool..i feel as peaceful as ripples on the lake while listening to this song. especially the beginning melody that calms your nerves if you had a bad day. coupled with a cup of hot cocoa...THAT WILL BE FANTASTIC! too bad.no cocoa at home:( you know, there are some things in our heart that we wish no one would talk about. take for example the mimosa plant. once someone touches it, it will just close up by itself. my fatal accupoint is my teeth. i dont mind if people asked me how they ended up like this, i just dont like them to bring this up again. i mean, know the reason and just shut up. i dont think that's funny. it only made me feel embarrassed and inferior. that's why i dont feel happy on the day when they discussed about the lemons and vinegar thingy. but i just kept it to myself. notti..i miss him. it was through him that i know who adele was. and the first song was "chasing pavement" *tears* do you know what i need most right now? notti. a REAL tight hug. -180110-0021
Saturday, January 09, 2010
 and so he replied. but it came as a tremendous shock to me. i was happily eating my ooki at the cashier and at the same time checking my hp for any calls or sms. "1 message from _______________" ok. my heart was full of anticipation for his reply. HOWEVER............................................................. from his tone, it seems that he blamed me. i could somehow feel his irritation. shit.maybe he thought that i pestered him too much and he's 烦. ok then. i "Get it!" the instant feeling of fallen grace from heaven to hell......gosh who can imagine that? i kept my 2nd ooki. really no appetite to continue eating. but i could say that gary was sharp and sensitive to his fellow colleagues. he sensed that something was wrong with me but of course i didnt tell him what has happened. he's really stupid. how can he misunderstood me? if my motive of going over is not because of him, would i have told him about my plans? who are you to be informed of my actions if i dont care about u? if u r just a superficial friend to me, wil i keep asking when you will be free???????????????? get the message right k! my motive is to look for you and you to be free to accompany me! do u really think i want to go kl just for shopping sake? even if i had to pay 100 over bucks just for a single flight to see u, i will not hesitate to. DO U SEE HOW MUCH U MEAN TO ME? AND HOW COULD U INDIRECTLY HURT ME IN YOUR SMS? I DIDNT KNOW MY PAST SMSES IRRITATED U THAT MUCH. & I EVEN APOLOGIZED TO U........................... HAVE U CONSIDERED THE KIND OF FEELING I WILL BE GETTING WHEN I READ UR SMS? NOW IM SO SCARED. I DONT EVEN DARE TO SMS U ANYMORE. OUTCOME WILL BE WORST RIGHT? I HATE MYSELF. IM SHAMELESS. I ONLY DO STUFF THAT IRKS PEOPLE. SYLVIA, U IRRITATING BRAT! IF NOT FOR MY PERSISTENT COUGH, I GONNA DRINK AGAIN. -090110-0120
Friday, January 08, 2010
sylvia is impulsive.sylvia can be impulsive. sylvia can just carry her bag and passport and fly away. but too bad, she hadnt receive her new passport yet. im shouting without my voice. hello, can anyone hear me? the feeling is bitter. i feel like crying :((((((((((((((((((((( i thought that i will have something to look forward to at the end of every roadshow. i've done two and had eventful happenings. this is the third time and im letting time pass every second,minute,hour,day and i feel dull. just like daughtry's song : no surprises. dont even have the mood to prepare for cny. neither the usual mood to awe at the routine girls stuff. i give him more time. if this time he still doesnt reply me, im not going to talk to him again. -080110-0042 Saturday, January 02, 2010
first and foremost, new year greetings to everyone out there!it's 2010 and i realise i have not made my new year resolution. it came a tad too late at 12.58am and here it is. i wish to be a little selfish. hope that god can grant me whatever things i wish for, regardless of any cause and reason. the bus passed by ann siang hill tonight and i just turned my head around and stared emotionally at the spot where we waited for cab. i remembered how thoughtful and caring he was to push me under the shade and not make me wait for cab together with him under the scorching sun. then, i also saw the place where lunched together. i tell you, these memories are scarier than supernatural powers as they do not need to appear only when we summon them but they have the ability to just appear unpredictably. gosh, its no wonder im living in memories and not reality. reality is so harsh and cruel and hurtful. i'd rather stay in the shell of sweet memories. you know im quite disappointed with notti. he did not reply to my xmas and new year messages. at least edison replied one. i just wanna find out how's he doing and........and................. wanna re-connect with him.... didnt see him online nowadays.. didn't send me gifts in facebook. sadded. VEXED. & i begin to ponder. how's 2010 going to be? 2009 has been the best year for me so far but is 2010 gonna be better? a sudden thought flashed across my mind. should i take 145 and alight at ann siang hill tomorrow night after work? i believe that even the smartest brain has his/her own weakness. and my weakness is..love. 'cause of love, im always a silly girl :( -020110-0111 |
