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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Monday, October 29, 2007
i feel tired but am still waiting for him to be online.silly.foolish. am i? i really enjoyed the conversations with him though it resembled abit like those i had with gary. piece by piece. bit by bit kind. it's a pity that i was caught up with assignment just now and didn't really talk to him. oh wells. don't know when he'll come online again. that's our only mean of communication, dear lord. there's no way to give a call or text an sms. so to cherish our current conversations is ever so important to me! sianz. felt nauseous just now in the evening. nah..i'm not sick. it's due to the over-refraction during lab session that caused those eye strains and headaches. n the ever-so-stupid lightning-like gestures! brainless tooty toot. over-minusing really could cause hell lot of discomfort! -words are only words- is it true? -291007-2330 Friday, October 26, 2007
explored a new place called "holland village" today during lunch with ruth. yer..we're the two mountain tortoise who've never been to this place, especially ruth who was so eager to see the windmill. we stopped at Provence for lunch. it's a bakery cum cafe...... we ordered 2 doughnuts; one with curry and the other with a sausage. the other one was.......forgot its name but it tasted like the traditional muah chee as the cheese inside had already melted onto the flour. i love their doughnuts 'coz they were ever so crispy! their sandwiches were fantastic, healthy and delicious too! next time i wanna try their BLT sandwiches set meal!! then i had a nice, warm cafe mocha while ruth had hot chocolate. then we went to bee cheng hiang. all the while, i thought that this place only sells bbq pork. never had i imagined that they have other funny little stuff as well. like what?porkfloss wrapped with seaweed. new flavor of original bbq pork mixed with bacon. yumyum.... that stallperson kept smiling at me. & he gladly offered me many samples to taste..which got me really indigested from the lunch earlier on. burrrpppp (excuse me~) hmm..now that i know of a new hangout, hehe....... i can recommend to "him" that's our deal :) 
-261007-0022 Wednesday, October 24, 2007
hohohohohohohohoho.. FINALLY (yes i do mean it!) gotten the pics from ruth. *grins* there you go: some(the more "decent" ones)were taken during the bus trip to cibavision manufacturing plant; the rest were taken during practical sessions when lecturer's not around. in other words, fooling time! haha         -241007-0102 hmmm..it's finally time to blog again! anyway, i guess blogging is all about having the right feelings at the right time, thus until this very moment then you see me "alive" in blogger's world............ ok..lemme kick start by sharing my feelings during sunday's trip to JB. i was there to attend taki's workshop. i woke up bright and early on the day itself, somehow feeling that the sleep in the previous night wasn't really peaceful and sweet. i got those eagerness and excitement long before dawn sets in 'coz i know that i will be seeing taki again. yer..you can call me crazy. but that's the kind of emotions you'll get when you idolise someone alot. the venue was at mutiara hotel... yea..the same old place with royal-like hotel rooms and comfy bath tubs. this time round we didn't stay overnight as it was just a one-day event. that's why i was hoping that the duration of the workshop could extend for at least 2 days, maybe? on the other hand, we can learn more from experienced taki mah...*keke* when he was up there on stage, my mind went totally blank!!!!! i only knew that my heart wowed at what it saw. nice image. nice hair. nice dressing. kinda missed his voice. haha. we indeed learnt alot from him but alot is not enough for me.... i wished for more. ......*if i can become his disciple*....... then we proceeded to photo-taking at the end and that's my precious pic of me and him!!!!!! loves. to be con'td...........(ask me if ya wanna know :p) 
 1/3 of the whole big group taking photo with taki. can you see? he's squeezed in between..haha us. a pity that my cam's resolution wasn't something i'm proud of. thought of changing to canon ixus one fine day. ya..so bear with those "blurry" pics temporarily:) -241007-0039
Saturday, October 20, 2007
*sighs*i can't bring myself to smile whenever i see him or be with him. just now, i gave the excuse of being tired. in fact, i'm too lost into my emotions. i always thought that loving someone should be something sweet and memorable and you will be smiling everytime. not true! i know i like him but there's this mixture of undescribable feelings that squeeze all the sour sour "acid" into my heart, making a sucky day. i don't know why. he used to care for me but now i don't feel it anymore. GOSH!!!!!! WHY AM I LIKE THAT????????????????????????????????? WHY AM I ALWAYS SO MISERABLE???????????????? HOW CAN LOVING A PERSON BE SO TIRED?????? HOW CAN LOVING A PERSON BE MORE UNHAPPY WHEN IT SHOULD NOT BE?????????????????????????????????????????? GO, AM I WORNG TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU? HOW COULD I FALL INTO THE TRAP AND FURTHERMORE TO LIKE YOU????? IF OUR PATHS HADN'T MEET, WILL I BE A HAPPIER PERSON??????????????????????????????????? -201007-0045 Friday, October 19, 2007
just met up with my dearest (yes i mean it!) friend hours ago. i had not done this simple gesture of hanging out with friends for a long time, simple because i couldn't find anyone. sounds ridiculous isn't it?i seem to have lost touch with my secondary school friends like cindy and grace who were just 2 years ago, my close sisters...now, we've all gone our separate ways. grace went to college while cindy has her honey with her. emily is the only one left whom i meet more often in school nowadays. so talking about friends, i'm not the kind who have tons of friends at different corners of the world. i have 1 close close friend now. she is koh suat hoon. she's the one who is willing to listen to my problems and we would not hesitate sharing incidences and emotions with each other. some friend perhaps look harmless to you, but in real fact, they are hypocritical. to put it simply, they are plain selfish. be frank to you guys, i don't look forward to school every single day. what keeps someone passionate in going to school may be because of peers or even because they enjoy what they're studying. i have no friends to make me feel eager to rush to school. in fact, i have a "close" friend per say but deep inside i know her character. out of desperation, we became good friends but i still remain cautious somehow. i knew that she wanted to join the majority and feel popular and accepted by the rest and she even complained that i caused her to be isolated from the class. my heart aches upon hearing such statement. if you're truly my friend, you wouldn't have said that. everyday when i enter the class, i just found a corner and sat there by myself. i could not even bother to utter a word to the rest and there's no need to smile to them as well 'coz they don't even want to look at you in your eyes. so what for? if they treat me as transparent, i will treat them the same way too :) hence, i find my days extremely torturing. no one seems to like me. am i so loathesome? why do you all have to isolate me? am i not part of dopt2b02? that day when i was waiting for the lift with the other cliques, as expected, they just talked among themselves and perhaps they didn't even realise i was there. and please don't talk to me with pitiful eyes. i don't need your pity. if you don't want to talk to me, FINE! I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!except those guys who are equally good to anyone, everyone. -201007-0022 Thursday, October 18, 2007
your name stands for bloody fucker.faggot maggots. BITCH! what had i done in my past life to step onto your tail and to trigger the unhappy rubbish in the present life? you want to embarrass me infront of seniors right? i want revenge!!!!!!!!!!!! (until i find a method one day) -181007-0106 Wednesday, October 17, 2007
seeing couples and couples and still COUPLES on the bus, i feel nothing but envy. i know that i will share similar outcome as them someday, but when's the day? it's not a bad idea having a shoulder to lean on, to rest the tired head. i guess with that, no matter how stressful the day may be, the honeysweet gesture (and of course the honey partner) outweigh everything. this sets me thinking i was in the bus just now. a total of lengthy 1hr++ bus trip was the time for reminiscence. i missed pat. i missed how he held my hand when i was in his car. i missed the kisses and hugs. now, feeling the emptiness just right beside me, how i wish that GO was there for me to depend on. "lean on me. when you're not strong" ahhhh...into a state of fantasy. GORY. anyway, just uploaded some pics from Mutiara Hotel in JB:    the last pic was taken at an eatery outside the hotel. it was supposed to resemble a HongKong eatery with its local delights and creation of fantastic deco and utensils. food in the pic were peanut butter bread loaf, lover's ocean and yam milk. the loaf was crispy on the outside and fluffy within and with the thick spread of peanut butter, it was heaven! oh mama! then the lover's ocean was mine. the bigger JAR. a nice soothing mixture of strawberry and lychee. did you notice? the cups were actually cookie jars!!! that's what the whole captivation was all about (and also the food!!!) anyway, more pics by this sunday i guess..will be going there again!
-171007-0113 Friday, October 12, 2007
goodbye friends..off to m'sia in approx. 8 hours time. meanwhile, take care and misses! -121007-2245 Saturday, October 06, 2007
  ice-cream; my new craving. 2 sticks within 3 days, which means that i'm sad on 2 occasions! why not try this? find a comfortable place to sit and enjoy your ice-cream. as for me, there could have been a better place but it was late at night, hence left only the quiet benches and the moonlight. at least i didn't drown myself in liquor. so, it's a healthy craving! in his car tonight, i pretended to be asleep. i don't want to face the fact that i'm neglected. when he and m talked all the way, i just shut myself up in my own world of music. yah, my ears were plugged with the earpiece which i brought with me today, as i sort of predicted such predicament. i listened to class95fm and i closed my eyes. along the way, i just peeped at him and couldn't help feeling that we're worlds apart. no eye contact TOTALLY. i looked away. i don't want to look at him. even after when he dropped me downstairs, i thanked him for the ride and simply turned back. i can't bring myself to smile whatsoever. m thought that i was tired 'coz i pretended to sleep. so be it. i'm just too tired to bother and to torture myself with misery. i'd rather see and listen less. no moomoo icecream tonight. wall's teenage icecream instead. -061007-0138 |
