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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Thursday, May 31, 2007
good morning people!!!!!!!!! woke up BRIGHT and EARLY today despite that it's a public holiday. the scorching weather forced me to get out of my bed, leaving me feeling frustrated and super angry with it. contradicting as it is, i'm feeling so sleepy now but i still gotta go out later in the afternoon. thinking about going out and let the sun hurts my snowy skin, i could not stop cursing and swearing about the weather. should i take a cab? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to quickly be blowed by the cool air of the air-conditioner. i simply hate to sweat because my make-up hence smudged and i looked so ugly and unpresentable in the public and then i would have to dig into my bag searching for tissue paper, but most of the time i could find none because i do not have the habit of bringing them. now this kinda weather shall gimme a reason to stock up tissue papers in my baggie. ignoring(trying to) this disgusting weather, i'm actually feeling quite happy. well, probably it's the after-effect of last night's joy. wei yi said something which made me feel very pleased deep within. shall not tell you what it was, but i'm just feeling VERY HAPPY! i was very shocked when thomas asked me to participate in the upcoming ladies carnival. hey, i felt quite flattered and honored at the same time for thinking so highly of me. yes! i will do my best to do you guys proud! i missed out uploading some pics from winner's nite. here you go..kudos to arianne for these great pics!  this is little arianne, my new sister from the trip. the reason for calling her "little" is because she's a petite looking girl who has alot of admiring qualities and character! (see..i can tee-up her so well..hehe) thanks for the company girl! then, we made another new friend outside bukit jalil stadium. he's our friend from bangladesh who could amazingly speak bahasa due to the fact that he's working in m'sia. kudos to him for having the adapt-to-the-environment spirit!!!!!!!!!!!! all the best to him! lastly, this is our beloved garry. like what arianne said, he looked like a boy boy with a moustache in this pic.haha! nice candid shot! it reveals, to me, that he's still a child at heart. (but this does not give him an excuse to call me jiejie!!! argh..*punch him*)-310507-1239
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
back at last!had ocular pharmacology test just now. amazingly i could still score 9/10 even though i only had a fast touch and go of the notes this morning. received previous test results. 44/50. last night i was the emcee of the homeparty at AMK stockist. no preparations done until to the last moment when i got garry to share some tips with me. anyway, glad that evrything went smoothly. & garry's conclusion: his successor. YAY! in my opinion, i still feel that i have alot to learn from this dude. be it in work or some other stuff, i admire him from the bottom of my heart. the trip to KL was damn fun! experienced many stuff that i've not seen before. took alot of pics during the trip..i will upload them in webshots later..keep tracking ok? hope that this trip has brought everyone closer and created new bondings in this big ELKEN family. oh yes! i made a new friend. she is arianne!!!!!!!! i only knew her during RAN dinner and for the past two days, we were roaming around the place like sisters, accompanied each other and even had a chance to have a mini heart-to-heart chat. stupid bus! jerked like no one's business. and i felt super nauseous sitting at the side. actually i was hoping he would take the seat upstairs but he chose this lousy seat. ok lah..so i sat with him lor.. only when i'm alighting then i told him about the nausea. diaoz. but i'm blessed for not puking on him had i really could not control anymore. that was when we're on our way back. now is about the journey there: tell you lah..i can choose seats better than him for at least everyone felt comfortable. i chose the corner back seat (my fave spot) then it happened that many people boarded the bus and everyone was cramping their way through. so there was someone sitting next to him and he was forced to move closer to me. hehe........i totally enjoy the ride!!!!!!! so cosy and warm...shiok manz! can feel our arms in contact..hehe and even before we boarded the bus, we were walking along the streets. there were times when our fingers came into contact as well. but usually in such circumstances, one would not take it too seriously. 'cause it's an "accident". he accompanied me to buy plasters for my silly foot. all thanks to the new pair of shoes -.- but come to think of it, i still must really thank my shoes right? haha i super cherish yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come back, yesterday! -290507-1843 Tuesday, May 22, 2007
sick sick sick!my body temperature shot up to 39.4 degree celsius. i felt like a hot oven. took 3 pills at the clinic immediately as my temperature was too high. now, i'm seeing stars wherever i walk. vision? was like fogging lens; blur and misleading. fortunately, temperature fall back to normal today but my whole body was feeling weak and aches all over. vomitted and having convulsions (similar to gary) diaphragm hurts as it kept contracting. slept for one and a half full day. could not even pick myself up from bed. so, just rest on it and slept for long hours. [sunday] ran from places to places like a mad dog. was damn tired but fortunately he was around with me for the whole day. so there were 2 mad dogs. took a short nap and then i realised that i was having a fever of 38.7 degree celsius. heck with it, i popped a panadol and took bus 97 all the way to jurong. i knew that i was looking very pale and thought that blusher could cover the paleness. but i was already feeling very weak all over. ah ma touched my forehead and told me that i had a fever. but i lied that i'm ok. for this day, i only had one meal which lasted me throughout. he too. at least he had wanton mee, i only had porridge. we were both starving but we hang on. we insist in what we do. 12 hours of starvation; alomost deprived us of all the remaining energy. i solely fed on his sweets for some simple carbs. when we finally had the time to eat at night, it was already 10+. he had a full supper wheareas i only had the appetitite to eat a pao. at 12 midnight, my temperature rose even higher. poor mommy had to sponge me until she did not have a peaceful sleep. sorry mommy.. now, bad cough and sore throat. painful manz.. i lost my voice and bet it wasn't any sexier. LOL he was kind enough to ask me "how are you" i should have replied "luckily you were there with me on sunday. if not i could not even find my strength" -220507-1544 Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Hello!again some new pics!      
now can you tell me what's a beautiful lie?
a lie with kind intentions of not wanting to hurt someone? hmmmm.. i'm very direct in giving comments sometimes. when something is not true, i won't lie through my teeth. and this applies to other people's compliments for me. i appreciate it but please pardon me if i do not compliment you as a favour returned because i can't bring myself to it. for example: if you call me "mei nu", unless you're as handsome as that FELLA, i would not call you "shuai ge" get it?haha. after your descriptions, i just want to be with you. strictly no one else even if they booked me beforehand. i reserve the honour for you okay? dream and visualise.. wah..SHIOK! to stroll along the path with you side by side. imagine. everything else was shut off. only us. hehe...... it feels like walking on the aisle in the church right? hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. -160507-2341
early morning he miss called me.
is he uptight? i called him as quickly as i could because i wanna hear his voice to start my day heartily. as promised, he called in the night. another miss call. so i called him back. thanks for your concern ya.. *hugs*[and don't wanna let go.hehe] i love the "cheer up!" good evening~~~~~~ oh ya.. thanks to suat hoon too! she's a loyal reader of my bloggie and even smsed me to cheer up. gam xia~ went to ak in the afternoon. what a mess! instantly i dislike the environment. things were lying around, a few desks in the middle of nowhere..so untidy.. what an eyesore! i couldn't find my stuff until i had to resort to borrowing. no internet connection and worst of all, none of the cables work! when i just stepped into the office, i wished to step out of it immediately. gotta wait until all renovation work is done, i guess.. then, there will be another round of packing again.. i was inside the marketing room, the room which contained truckloads of memories. it was where me and pat had dinner together; where i had to always peep into before we really knew each other; a workplace which doesn't seem to be what it was with the enjoyment of gazing and waiting for him to complete his stuff. now the tables were all out of sight. as well as that corner outside.. when we spent a great saturday together. what's left is just an empty space, empty room, empty memories. talking about pat, i just dreamt of him last night. it's been a long time since i last dreamt of him. does that mean that i missed him too badly? in the lalaland, the feeling seemed SO REAL. really!! the emotions, his temperature, his face, his hug.. i didn't want to wake up from the dream. stupid alarm. lemme indulge in this hard to come by fantasy can? lemme continue dreaming of it can? because i know once i wake up, everything restarts from zero. everything disappears. tears fall. i really truly seriously miss you. what happen to us? why are you so cruel to leave such a huge question mark dangling behind? i see you online at night nowadays but you never talk to me. the bus stop...was it our last goodbye? -160507-0125 Monday, May 14, 2007
anger+disappointment+fed up and everything's written on my face.i don't need to talk. just kept very silent. i'm too moody to talk, to hear and to feel. you know what's numbness? seems like i'm experiencing it now. and now then i finally understand that being angry needs alot of energy. im so hungry now. i locked myself in the room just now, pretended to be asleep. though i was feeling tired at first and thought of taking a short nap, i became even more awake. i cried. how come mommy's like that? how come all aunties are like that? how come granny is like that? how come i'm like that? how come that fella is like that? hello. did you call really out of concern? did you feel peculiar about my absence? earlier on you miss called me. then i miss called you twice. and you miss called me twice. for the last two calls, i knew you called. but i didn't pick up the phone. i let it rang and in the end i switched off my phone. sorry, i just don't feel like talking. in school, i understand fully how it feels to be outcasted. okay, i just kept quiet. i hate those people who flocked to the more popular groups. today i made it clear that i wanted a change in pract partner. since you like to hang out with others, then this will be a very helpful decision. lemme vent some anger. i hate people who love to stick out their long long tongues when they take pics. gross! as for that fella.. please leave me alone for now. maybe i will call you back later or tomorrow. -140507-2155
HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL!
sorry for the late wishes. it's still sunday to me but the clock shows otherwise. i love this sentence. (in chinese) "wo zai protect ta" which means that he's protecting me. cool.. my heart almost melted. waaaaaaah.. & i love the eye communication. the kind how he communicates with me from afar. so sweet. my heart almost melted again. seeing two people taking photo together, i imagined how we would look like if we took the pic together. -140507-0105 Saturday, May 12, 2007
hi good morning everyone!i'm in a stressful mode now, but i TRY to be happy. hmm..tests coming. ocular pharmacology and introduction to contact lens. mr konda said that it would be a surprise and open-book test. fortunately i've finished studying for ocular pharmacology. i think everyone finds it hard to catch up with konda's lecture. that's why i'm worried now. will do my best to comprehend and do his tutorials. NLC! how? just keep doing lor~ i handwashed one blouse just now. an achievement already okay! you can praise me for tidying the sofa, bags and desk too! haha.. so, i helped out in housework today! lessen some of my mom's burden. i'm so so in love with the lingerie set! especially the waist nipper which i find it super useful. these few days my bag had been very heavy and it's weighing down on one shoulder. (suat hoon should know better than anyone else.hees.) furthermore, it affects my posture. hence, the waist nipper corrected my posture and i feel great standing tall! hahaa.. got my eternal beauty and this i termed it as my prized possession. i remembered there was this essay title "my prized possession" in my seconday school days. at that time, i didn't know what to write because nothing can be considered valuable. now, if i have another chance, i will have lots to write about it. haha.. ok.got to go..byebye! enjoy your weekends! -120507-1507 Friday, May 11, 2007
some new pics of myself today..those paw-paw acts, roaring madness and 2 emo pics.. hehe my habit's acting up again! nitez everyone~             Thursday, May 10, 2007
hi everyone!today my mood was quite high! yay! something to be happy about finally! my subjective refraction practical went so smoothly.. thanks to andrew for being my subject..and we made mistakes together and learnt together along the way. at least i know that we're on the same boat. same blurness! but never mind! we progressed together, right? i feel more confident now..hehe not to mention, some smart alecs are too "smart" to teach the slower ones. hmm..what's good night in japanese? i didn't really catch how it sounds like.. think it ends with -masei..haha..is it? knew someone new yesterday during GEMS. he is ryan chew, a canoeist in school and in the national team. that's what mervin told me. he's in year3 now..looks guai guai to me because in class he always sits in front. looks tanned and toned like christopher lee. i remembered seeing him in FC2 Mac last semester and he caught my eye. hehe. then these few days i kept bumping into him in FC1. today was no exception. i didn't talk to him or whatsoever. we simply just stared at each other..guess he must have known that a girl by the name of sylvia exists. because......outside class yesterday, he saw me with mervin who happened to be his canoeing junior. hahaaha..what a small small world! so, i went to search for his friendster last night. all the competition pics. COOL! heard that he can row very very fast.. when i queried about hiom from mervin, he ended his words with "he's already attached". LOL..i didn't say anything leh.. hello~that spicy curry is better leh. was marked late for lili's practical this morning. the traffic was horrible in the morning! but the consoling fact for today is that i caught up with her lesson so far. so far so good. vivien's lectures too. YAY! today i stick to the boys most of the time. had lunch with them and sat with them in class. ruth asked me: are you ok? how come these few days you're so quiet? my answer was: there's nothing for me to talk. isn't it nice to be quiet? but with the boys, i found more things to talk leh. sad to say, i'm someone who will bear grudges for some time. of course there are still times whereby i will forgive and forget, depending on the situation. since this was the kind of attitude you all showed me all this while, let me show you mine. hmpf. -110507-0009 Wednesday, May 09, 2007
earlier on, i was mad at youbut i just couldn't bring myself to scold you. i may have some grumbles..but.. well, i let it past. you promised me something but you broke it. "live and let live"; i stick to this. this is my 2nd disappointment of you. no one loves broken promises, me too. please.. next time don't promise something so easily. -090507-2324
SHIT stuff!
yes, recently i got into some kinda deep shit. got demerit point, must write letter, and worst of all is to do weekend duty which i think is cleaning phoropter and stuff. asshole! that woman really is a sucker lah! i'm tired and this is the thing i fear most because i may get sick easily. looking at my target, i still got a long long way to go. thinking of it is enough to make me even more tired. ocular pharmacology test is on next tuesday. finished studying 2 chapters; 1 more to go. YAY! glad to see he (not pat) talked to me first on msn last night. so i think it explains why i had such a nice sleep until i overslept this morning. one realisation: the good guys are either attached or single (but with ultra high expectations). and sometimes i actually paused for a moment to reflect on my love life till now. a very rocky path. none was successful though each had its own sweetness and significance. i know that most of the time it's a one sided thingy. and i couldn't figure out why. why the other party would not love me back. pat obviously treated me as a toy. if not, it must be that i did not pass his requirement test. or maybe, i was put on trial. just like a trial frame set, we remove the lens that are not suitable for the patient's vision. hmmmm.. now this new fella seems to have high criterion. if you think i'm good, then how come i get all this treatment? is it fate? so what if you all envy the things i have? i don't even have a life i want. my wish is just so simple simple simple simple and small.. -090507-1722 Tuesday, May 08, 2007
i wonder how my heart would respond just now if we have some physical touch.i could still vividly recall the time when he.. though at that time, i was still dating pat, the very moment gave me a very different feeling. i could sense his gentleness, meticulous, attentiveness etc.. my heart almost jumped out (not in terms of fear) to meet his. weird right? physical touch is something extremely powerful. and because of this, i hope that i didn't give anyone the wrong message. i felt that he's avoiding.. i could have done something for him tonight, but he's smart enough to divert that topic in an indirect manner. haha. sooner, someday, the babysitter gotta leave. baby shoot gotta grow into a young plant. that's about it. due to long interaction period, the baby can't bear to leave the babysitter. can he stay with her forever? she's in love with him. gosh, what a manifestation! i wanna feel more and more of your concern. -080507-0123 Monday, May 07, 2007
i took the first initiative but it never gets paid off.the one i used to call him dear.. appears to be more of a cold stranger. no reply, never mind. but have we totally shut off any connections between us? you really vanished into the thin air man.. i see your true color..   -070507-0046
now i believe how small the world is.
woke up bright and early and went to his house. alamak! his uberly street fighter image smack right into my head until i chuckled when recalling it. unkempt hair which stood against gravity and he was in a singlet and shorts. but i find it natural as compared to his image at night. see..im so privileged to "step into" his house. set off to meet suat hoon and we went to meet her hearing impaired friend. in the bus, i learned some sign languages from her. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. hehe..only some managed to stay in my head. some glides off.hah! her friend introduced me to his bro who shockingly was the guy who worked in office! and his dad was........ i still call him "uncle" waseh! i really am the "got-eye-don't-know-tarzan"..(translate into chinese and dialect and you'll get it) later..i went to suat hoon's house to give her mom a facial. hope she likes it though:) aunty, happy mommy's day! haha. then, met him for dinner at that bedok market. fucking idiot! for quite some time i stared into blank space.. or rather the place where me and pat once sat. because of these memories, i never like and wanted to go to that market since then. we ate bak chor mee..which was what pat introduced me to eat. worse still.. again, that dinner..i did not enjoy it. the more i ate, the more i thought of pat. i almost cried you know? but he was there, so i didnt want to shock him. hmmm..my first proper dinner with him though. went to meet my cousin after that. we really knocked onto the wall very hard, literally lah. i panicked until almost cried again. so i learnt a lesson. never tell lies (even though it is out of kind intention). luckily, he was there to shield me. i felt like a small kitten, hiding behind him. it was already more than enough and i appreciate it lots because he braved the obstacles for me. oh..did i just mention about kitten? we saw 3 kittens in the carpark. one was looking at the other two which seemed to be fighting. that was what i thought. but he said otherwise. he said that the 2 kitties were making love. DOTZ. to me, one seemed to be biting the skin of the other.. haha..to me it's more of violence??!! judging by the kitty's skin, it needs a lift man! use EB is the best! wahahaha... 1314 was the first prize in 4D tonight. most people didnt buy. "am tui" haha.. lemme wish you a good night. you look very tired boy.. rest well and i can't wait to see you everyday. you saw my downside and also my confident side. well, that's me. thank you, i wanna tell you this. thanks for the night. as for pat, think we're no longer friends. he didn't reply me in msn. either he blocks me or he couldn't give a damn about me. well well well......... as for that "chan" dude, i could not imagine he would ask me such an odd question. eeeeeeeeeeerrrr.. all in all to sum up, i learnt sign languages and as simple as not to tell lies. and also most importantly, i learnt that i like you liao. -070507-0036 Sunday, May 06, 2007
geez.when did it all start? i don't even feel its presence. the only thing i know is that all my emotions swayed to you uncontrollably. read david's blog and saw the beautifully done up vision board. well done boy! see that he has his own goals, that of a dream car and etc.. whereas for me, can i paste your picture up there? i have no confidence in achieving this goal though. there are many girls out there and because of this, my morale went low. that's me at my lowest point, when i ever doubt myself. i know that miracles exist but i never dare to manifest the thought that it would ever happen to such an ordinary girl like me. so if im praying for a miracle now, im just foolishly hoping the impossible. hmmm..has it got any link with my like for vinegar?hehe just like what i told rena just now, i wish to see you again even though we may have parted for like 1 day or even 1 minute. turning my back to see your silhouette leaving my visual field, i get the urge of following you. what's the fuss about you? boy, it's your smile and eyes. they are like electricity to me which gives me a shock when i fall for them. i still feel some distance away from you leh.. c'mon..i don't wish history to repeat itself. -thinking of you- -060507-0222 Saturday, May 05, 2007
you ignite the flame once again when there left only sparks.my life seems to be in your control and you turn it whichever way you like. like a dice, im contented with whatever choice you made for me. because all are my winning chips. ahead lies a long winding road where danger lurks perhaps. but i feel safe with you by my side. if i have the chance, i wish we could be together, and leave lasting tracks down the memory lane. look into my eyes; i look into yours. have i sent not enough impulses into them? can you feel it? i dare to show my true emotions in front of you. reveal them is a way of removing all those masking. the only remnants are my thoughts about you. when you see that im tired, i really am. and i wish that i could comfortably lay my head on your shoulder. a pillow which leads to paradise-filled world. or a bear hug that pampers me, it also can. how i wish that just now we just could not reach the destination, so we shall continue walking and walking and walking under the moonlight. when i walk behind you, i ever thought of tugging your shirt. to remind you that im right behind, and please don't leave me behind. thanks for chasing the cat away:) since fate let us meet, will it seal up our fate just like that? or will it lead to something beautiful? i wanna be the lucky girl of yours. i wanna you to feel proud of me just as much as how i feel about you. i just die in your eyes, period. keep looking into my eyes can? hehe. -050407-0206 Friday, May 04, 2007
waiting for my hair to dry, so meanwhile shall mention here some things..my good intentions have been misunderstood by people. im sure someday they will understand. today's classes were damn damn damn BORING! my head was almost dropping onto the desk. in fact everyone's publicly resting their heads on the table. me too. just couldn't pick up any energy to simply lift up my head up. eyes were closing.. & i was yawning till tears almost flowed out. i pretended to be taking notes, but the fact is i was actually drawing and scribbling. guess who i drew? it's him lor... eeyer~when mr konda was teaching, i was thinking of him, his smile and everything until it brought a smile on my face. that kind and innocent smile..so humble and endearing..just feel like snuggling up to him. i will be glad if the feeling is mutual. don't know how will he think of me.. was saddened when he said about me growing up because i don't like being treated like a child. thomas asked me what's my dream. i said it is a dark purple volkswagen beetle. deep within my heart, i was whispering his name. eh, i like him? nightz! lets fight on together! -040507-0156 Tuesday, May 01, 2007
i don't understand if office politics runs everywhere.is it because of me? i will feel better if it's not the case. but, contradictingly, i will smile if it's me. because this means that he cares for me. wishful thinking leh. maybe he sees it as just a responsibility. boohoo! qh's birthday celebration today at fc2. i didn't turn up. well, you can say that i did this on purpose. but im not being a difficult person here, you see. the thing is i see no difference with or without my presence. i kept quiet during pract. until ruth had to join me and ann-marie. see, what's ATTITUDE now? how will ya feel huh? my next pract partner was ruth. wah sian. when i was focusing really hard using the phoropter and retinoscope, damnit she almost dozed off. most of the time i had to remind her to open her eyes big when her lids were almost drooping. so uncooperative! i ALMOST spurt out the unpleasant words man! don't drive me to the corner okay??!! GUASA GUASA GUASA! miraculously true after understanding my ailments from the signs and symptoms. my health is in a mess.. need venus gold! haha..i felt back ache when returning home. guess that's the after-effect of guasa.. when he looked at me and i looked at him.. does it mean that our eyes actually met? very beautiful, his eyes. ahhh..can die in them.. it will be best if our eyes can do the talking. lets remain silent for awhile. shhhhhh....................... may our hearts and eyes connect. -010507-0138 |
