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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Thursday, June 28, 2007
utterly tired.panda eyes showing. eb eb please help me! he's kind enough to sms me first asking me how the test went, and told me to catch a nap as soon as i got home:) went down to office last night to be emcee. yea..to cover him or rather, a favour returned. actually i didn't thought of going down 'cause i've yet to complete my revision for today's test. but because it's him, and the way he pleaded, i'm on for it. he came down as promised and sent me home after that. you know what's a booster? i don't need energy bars or whatsoever. he's already my mental booster. today's test was horrid. but the thing is: i didn't regret making the trip down last night. some things are just like that; unexplainable. we very much would want to do certain stuff but once a favour comes from the person you like, we just heck everything aside. the funny thing is we still savour and enjoy the superb feeling of having done something to help that person out, though our very own cast-away stuff turns out to be unpleasant. i was shaking deep inside last night. weird right? i was very stable addressing to 100+ poeple but last night's mere 50+ people startled me. at times, i do feel that the mic is so heavy. or is it that my hands are too weak because of fear, that the grasp wasn't solid as a result? how i wish he would take the front seat, just like what i had always done. smiling at me. ego? regardless of gender, we all have our self-acclaimed pride. some stuff, we just don't want to express. and the truth always had to be denial, the world-end difference of how we actually felt. so quote me : i don't always mean what i say. only for this matter, i hide it from others. -280607-1822 Tuesday, June 26, 2007
 vision board. a place where we dump our dreams altogether to create a big miracle. my dreams? material wealth as well as all-time happiness. & i hope this is what i can get out of this lifetime: do you think it will be possible? hees. i dare to dream at the very least. who says we can't include human beings as our goals? they mean much more to me though. -260607-1225
qi si wo le!
toot toot toot toot toot!!!!!!! he's so toot manz! how could he even ask such an idiot-proof question? i treat everyone equally nice and friendly, not specially close to anyone. but if people get the wrong idea, then too bad.. when he asked me the question just now in his car, i was so damn shocked! i like him only. if it weren't for the fact that he spent most of the time with the girls, i would not be acting this way, though it's not an act to spite him. when i saw that he's so close to the girls, practically following behind their steps, i was feeling so green!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok lor, he had the rest and casted me aside. disappeared and appeared at the same time as them. & that idiot never understood my feelings about sharing room with someone i'm not so close with. & that girl had to be someone he's so close with. how would i feel? when i heard about the rumors during the lesson, i was fuming madly in my heart. it was early in the morning and my whole heart sank. my thought was: daddy, bring me back to s'pore quick! since he wanted to leave me alone in class, and sat so damn far away from me, he created a chance for someone else. so whose fault? is he over-friendly too? when i heard about the rumor, it was on the 2nd day. and guess what? my appetite for that day's lunch was so good! i ate alot and never felt full. that always happened when i'm down. EAT! later in the day when he denied that he liked that girl, i felt better definitely. but when i saw them sticking together, it felt so irksome! how i wish i could pull him away to me. hmpf. if the girl was someone else, i would totally ignore her straight away. but in some circumstances, i forced myself to talk to her. sianz. when i care about him, i wonder if he ever noticed. when his eyes looked away from me, what exactly was he feeling? when i went out with other guy, couldn't he catch my hint? did he worry for me? worry as in not because of responsibility. i want genuine concern manz.. if that guy could get the wrong idea, then when can the correct message get across to you? now i finally recalled and understood why he split me and that guy up. i don't care about that anymore as long as we're together. when i looked ahead, i could only see him. i surrender in his eyes .,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,.,... -260607-0119 Thursday, June 21, 2007
haven't been blogging for like 3 days?too many things to say but some just slipped my mind. but, i still keep the important ones intact in my memory so i'll just briefly mention them. could you believe it? i went to partyworld with him! indulged in the long lost madness ever since until about 1am that night. i picked "waiting for you" that reminded me of pat. since this fella knew how to sing this song, i purposely picked it just to get the feeling back. never mind, in the end we both ended up singing together. i love to hear him sing mayday's "ting bu dao" solid! this fella was so idiotic too. he wanted me to learn this song called "ai de zhu xuan lv" it's a duet and "forced" me to learn the ropes at that instant. crazy! but it's a super nice song in fact. & he loved to fast forward my song. especially my energy song "jiu wei xiao le" by nicholas teo. he accompanied me to walk after that. and hell "fortunate", i was drenched all over when i was just steps away from my house. the taxi uncle asked me whether i had brolly with me which obviously i would never have the habit of doing so. i stood at the taxi stand for 2 secs and i counted"1,2,3" and i dashed as fast as i could to get back home. i was quite worried about the steps and all that because it was very dark at that time and godamn ground was so slippery especially to girls wearing heels. my toes hurt. blisters on 3 toes.. thanks to that fella for suggesting walking home. nevertheless, i truly enjoyed eating porridge and singing ktv with him:) just yesterday, i met him again. we had our lunch at tg pagar market. that idiot sarcastically said that i look like chen wei ming. what the hell!!!!!!! but i knew what he meant. he just wanted me to put on weight. isn't this his responsibility? indeed, he do ask me now and then whether i had eaten. i said he looked like chen wei lian. HAHA. i really appreciate him shopping for a gift for me. thanks! i burst out into tears manz! he planned everything for me and and ......................... i'm really touched.. i'll be away in m'sia for 3 days. do take care my friends! -210607-1501 Thursday, June 14, 2007
finally got my hair cut today. the poor thing was not styled for approximately two months. *gosh, it's so long!!!!!!!* yes. even the boss said that my hair grew so much longer. she showed me some magazines regarding the latest haircuts. ahhhh~short hair is so tempting! i mean those with long sides and a concave back. and the highlights and hair colors too!!! wulalalala~ blue hair with orange hairlight. cool! of course sad to say, i'm not so daring yet though for the past few weeks i've been tempted by my friends to try out the latest hair craze. even the boss told me to think twice about going for short hair. ya hor! i do not wish my effort to go down the drain. from secondary 1 until now, step by step, my hair grew thus long. no play play~ hence boss recommended me these curls. not bad but it's just temporary :( nevertheless, she encouraged me to snap and snap enough pics to spot the difference in the new hairstyle(in the salon itself ok?hees.) oopsie. didn't know that she's just as zi lian as me. haha.       
i really can't fight this feeling.
but hey, what's the feeling all about in the first place? not even i could define it, who could? i was watching television as usual though nothing on the screen aroused my interest. it was until when he called. i got up super quickly to pick up the call and... JUST his voice perked me up! i was laughing over the phone and even after when we hung up, i was still grinning from head to toe. it was always so fun and entertaining. i don't mean that he entertains me but the feeling of happiness and all the smiles were radiated genuinely from the heart. so natural and easy. sometimes i do hope that he can suddenly appear right in front of me, so that i can give him a hug. in fact these few days i've been seeing him. time flies of course, and how i wish that i could snatch them all back. the so-called feeling grows and i do not want to be separated from him. then i must better fight hard so that i can enjoy a day-out with him. okay. that's my goal, since that was what he promised me. -140607-2135 Wednesday, June 13, 2007
~ble made me so happy today! early in the morning and my mood's already brightened up by alot. & once my mood is good, i began to take pics! hoho..      my morning dr diet. MWARHS.
*yawns*
i still feel so sleepy. mommy brought ~ble home just now. don't get mistaken. ~ble is a doggie which i think is of the same breed as the cover doggie for Cessar advertisement. damn cute can? my dream doggie is one which must be white and furry, so i can officially name it "Cloud". hees. when i just came out of my room, it licked me! i wanted to carry it in my arms too, but it seems heavy ya.. oh..it trains up my patience too, 'cause it never listened to what i said since i'm not it's owner. presenting to you, ~ble!       love ya! -130607-1240
interesting stuff!!
i got this webbie www.urbandictionary.com from ariane's bloggie and i just tried it for fun. played around with just 3 names and tada~ sylvia: is often used to refer a chinese dorks who are obsessed with korean actors!!!! hmm..no comments. wait! i gonna add in something! i'm not in the least interested in asian actors, moreover talking about obsession here. haha. garry: Both a verb and a noun.Verb- to flirt. Putting in effort to try to win a girl over.A guy who is very flirtatious with girls. Slang term for ecstacy. *shocked*. just a name could mean so many things, but all are so true! flirty flirty! ecstacy? perhaps to some people who are on high! haha. ryan: the cutest guy ever, and has the greatest respect for girls, is funny, and very very LOVING! though i don't even know much about him other than he's a year 3 canoeist in CLS, i think that he fits in the description perfectly! amour! but it's safer not to choose a guy with looks. 'cause you died in it first. well well well.. i don't think that my criteria is too high right? a stable, matured, humorous, optimistic, filial, outspoken, knowledgeable, gentlemanly, caring, loving guy.. OI, WHERE ARE YOU? i love the tender loving care too! -130607-0056 Sunday, June 10, 2007
 the magic behind these water jellies.. that make my plant grow so nicely. look deeper & they're purple in color! later i struggled between black and white, not knowing which to choose. here's white.   aha! here comes the black. was told to wear something tight-fitting to accentuate the figure.   & finally decided to submit this as the final contest photo. hees :)
what would you guys be doing on sunday mornings?
i guess just as much that you will say you're still in your lalaland. it used to be like this for me, or rather saying that i've always been a loghead fetching as much sleep for myself as possible. he was right about me. i can sleep anytime i want.. today was a different experience for me. instead of sleeping the usual 10 hours on weekends, i got up as early as 7.30am to attend a meaningful training NDT. madness. i could feel myself still sleeping within under opened eyes, which i've forced hard to keep them wide open. but the speakers woke me up, literally, with their jokes and vibe. that's how i remained awake throughout the day, thus keeping my energy curve up up until to the evening when it declined again. not forgetting to mention that i went on stage too. when i was preparing the so-called speech beforehand, i was godamn nervous manz..until garry had to be beside me to calm my nerves. well, i've never spoke to such a dynamic group of audience not to mention the freezing cold temperature in the room which made the feelings worst. i was already wearing my jacket and garry even wanted to lend me his. so kua zhang! god bless. being on stage was so damn shiok!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (provided that i don't leave out any important points) suat hoon was so onz. she joined me in the last 1/4 of the event, giving me some of the cake she has baked earlier on. girl, xing ku ni le..haha however, the cake was yums! at the grand finale, we held hands together while singing an oldie. that was "am tui* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! things could have been better (suat hoon, you should know what i mean right?) haha so funny. you're a drenched chicken. luo tang ji! & how come the sms was not from you? -100607-2326 Saturday, June 09, 2007
i was dead sleepy just now.planned to wash my face, afterwhich couldn't wait to hit the sacks quick. but who knows that the cold splashing waters actually woke me up. oh well, here i am to blog what i had intended to blog about yesterday. last night; a night when i was deeply touched in the heart. as usual, we chatted in the bus and i always hope that the journey could just carry on and on. yeah, he told me that my sitting posture was ugly in the bus. i was merely just sitting the slacker way embedded with the so-called ah lian style. too bad. that's my way of sitting when i'm way too tired to even find strength to sit upright. so he corrected my problem. i accept that. (though i was burned up within because all this while no one had told me about this and i thought it was alright) i protested by saying that no one would actually look back and notice us, the back seaters. HAHAHA..now it's my turn to judge his way of sitting. it was too ugly to be true. i'm just joking. basically it appeared okay to me but since he passed comments on mine, i shall return some back to him with VENGEANCE. haha he was sitting with legs "rather" wide apart and i was wondering whether i should or should not use that as a reason to fire him and since again i couldn't find any better evidence, there it goes. he refuted by saying that guys all sit in this manner. yea yea. i know that too. "but can you just close up your legs?" i asked him. *heehee* okok, i TRY to change to suit his taste and definitely to be a better woman. there was this uncle taking the other far-end back seat as well. i didn't know that he was observing that uncle all along. to me, i just heck it because that uncle didn't disturb us anyway and since he's just right beside me, i felt too safe to even sense whatsoever "danger". we both alighted at the same bus stop. i was so surprised when he told me to wait for the next bus with him. what the~ "ni pei wo deng bus" these words made me feel equally shocked and happy at the same time. well, he had never said this in the past but i'm feeling okay with it as i could spend more time with him. just when all those dreams floated in my head, they were crushed back to reality. he added: "that uncle was acting weird. he boarded at the same bus stop with us and........you better follow that girl infront of you. be careful." not too bad. he cared for me afterall. as i was crossing the overhead bridge, i kept looking back at him. his image gets smaller and smaller and no more of him in sight. i pondered over his words and recalled his expression when he said them.................................... the walking distance suddenly became short and i safely reached home soon after. -ALL SMILES- texted him and i will remember what he told me. later in the night, guess what? i dreamt of him! bless me with sweet dreams tonight, preferrably about him &.. gonna see him tomorrow again! & also gotta attend NDT. ????????????????? (don't know how to say good night in japanese) enjoy listening to his way of saying it. hees. NIGHT! --090607-2357 Thursday, June 07, 2007
BACK! hmmm..i realise i can never get tired of facing the computer whole day long and i kinda miss it if i'm too busy to use it. yea..it's some addictive stuff like friendster and of course blogger that got me deeply hooked to this habit. konda's test went quite smoothly today. i guess i can score quite well. during clinical optometry practical, i had approximately 2 mins talk with him. realise that his perspective of life does quite make sense but whenever he told us about it, we would laugh for no reason. he tried to comfort me, i know. he said: "problems make a tougher person and in the future you will be a tough one. problems find everyone, everytime, everywhere. if we claim not to have any problems, it's because we didn't face it." you guys agree with him? *hands shot right up* wow! konda is the wise one. his words definitely worth more than anything that could be found in texts. thanks mr konda! to think that 2a02 always make fun of him but he turned out to be a really nice person. this actually happened after i had a talk with the "dong fang bu bai" had a hard time talking to him though. but i felt better after the chat with mr konda for he must be trying to ease my mood. i was almost half-dead during vivien's lecture. she could see that we had a super long and tired day as our faces must have written "we are tired". until she called everyone to stand up. only those who answer her questions could sit down. she asked: "list me all kinds of abberrations" i answered "barrel" and tada~ i got to sit down. i was waiting for bus at the bus stop opposite mac. suddenly i turned back for a reason. there was this familiar smell lingering around. the same one as his cologne. ahhhhh~it was so familiar! in the end, of course the person was not him lah! haha. my phone was alright in the morning until i found out some time later that it went dead. battery was flat. instantly i thought of what would happen if he called but could not reach me. shit. it's all about him lor.. reached home and mommy told me that there was food in the kitchen waiting for me. okay..i wonder what's that. looked common but tasted HEAVENLY. yummies! it was so delicious that i managed to take pics of them before i finish them up.   goreng pisang thingy but wrapped in something which tasted like "hum chim peng".
have a good meal later and get prepared to mug for pathology. sayo~ -070607-1841         when you "got" into trouble yesterday, i was so worried for you and was frantically searching all my plastic bags for you. fortunately, it was a false alarm. phew..you're just as blur a sotong as me. i was so happy to hear your voice today. just felt happy to hear your voice, to feel your presence though we hung up quick. i just threw away a photo of the past. now my wallet is empty, no pic. left only a folded heart shape. who's next in it? oh ya, what happen to blogger nowadays? i don't know you guys encounter the same problem as me. my recent 2 posts were updated but not shown in my bloggie. or is there something wrong with my comp? can you guys view them? -070607-0012 Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
hey, what happened to me?i was alright just now. went to AMK stockist to listen to garry's training. i was lucky enough to escape from being the emcee because this guy could multi-task. he took over my role. yeah! i was spared! afterwhich, garry, limin, chris and i set off to changi airport to bid farewell to thomas, henry godfather and meriani. i was indeed feeling quite okay on our way there and when we reached, we just saw many many many elken people taking group photos and roaming around. then it's our turn to take pics with our group people. it was until when i saw a girl hugging her mother over and over again when she's at the departure gate, as if could not bear to be separated. that was when my mood took a change. the sight whereby thomas french-kissed to his daughter made me feel even more unbearable. i realised that seeing people away in airport is an awful feeling. all kinds of anguish washed over us at this particular time. his daughter then waved to him when he'd already entered the gate. SHANGHAI! YOU'RE NEXT!   i really don't feel like going for the batam leadership training during the term break. but..konda had already submitted my name to monica. fuck lah. when no people volunteers, i kena this unlucky shit. i'm really not interested in jungle trekking, raft building and stuff. definitely not my type. in addition, i also don't want to share room with someone i'm not so familiar with. really lor. i won't feel comfortable. SO MANY DON'T WANTS CAN ANYONE PAUSE FOR A MOMENT TO HEAR MY WANTS? i know that this may sound ridiculous. i'd rather share room with him because at least we're on closer terms with each other and AT LEAST i will be able to sleep in the 2 nights. what's the problem here? there are 2 SEPARATE beds per room hello! all sorts of nonsense. i finally understood your intentions. but you will never understand how i feel when i look into your eyes. it's not just mere eye contact. -040607-2353
sianz..
bro doesn't allow me to go to airport tomorrow night. this is karma. what goes around comes around. there's always a price to pay for our actions. these few days i gotta be a good good girl, study for my 3 upcoming tests and reach home early, which i think the latter is quite unlikely to happen. i guess i will be the emcee for tomorrow..well practice makes perfect. but i gotta part with everyone after that. today finally finished watching "wei xiao pasta". and ya know what? i suddenly got an impulse to shout aloud "XX wo xi huan ni!" if a girl can pick up her courage to profess her feelings, that will a breakthrough in the universe. that's the thing i admire about cheng xiao shi....... the whole drama ended on a happy ending. kissing in the so-called rain. seeing how he qun smiles, it reminds me of him. seeing how the two people bickers, it reminds me of us. seeing how nicely they hug each other, it keeps me wondering when this will happen to me. if change is the only constant in this changing world, who can guarantee he will not change? that's what mommy told me. when a girl feels insecure, this is what will happen. are our conversations genuinely based on our friendship? -040607-0113 Sunday, June 03, 2007
     SHREK!!!!! this hairband is supposedly for shayne/jared. hehe..i set my hands on it and tada~ cute right? i've been eyeing this thing on tv for a long time liao.. lets do our part for charity! |
