what gary said today knocked some sense into me.
i shouldnt have given edison a cold shoulder.
but this does not mean that im proud and arrogant.

i admit that sometimes my face looks cold and sulky but seriously i really have no intention to display it to edison.
i guess im somehow jealous...that he seems to care for someone more.
sounds wrong isnt it?
this is not within my reach and so what if he cares for someone more?
ahah..my emotions just flow to the face like how seasons change.

"sorry ah..edison."

i sneeze and cough.
shit..im so scared to fall sick now.......
how????
notti is coming in 3 days' time!

-231109-0001

i repeat:
WHY THIS FEELING?????????????????

puzzled.
why do i always get this same kind of feeling whenever he drops by?
im talking about dear mr edison.

i've already mentioned this in my previous post.
if only there is a vocabulary to accurately describe it, how nice it will be to make my life easier.
so at least i'll know what's exactly going on.

ok..i attempt to describe it then.
im neither angry nor upset with him 'coz there's no reason for me to.
but maybe what steph said was true.
he looked so serious and unapproachable 'coz he's always so stingy with smiles...haha.
that creates a distance...maybe?
i wanna talk to him but it seems like we are just slightly more friendly than absolute strangers and a supplier-retailer relationship.
eeeehh..then then...
it's also like he's more chatty towards my colleagues than to me..
BUT..this is natural isnt it?
'coz i joined the company not too long ago while he's already serving our account for quite some time..................
no wonder i didnt talk to him much in the shop except everything about work (though i wanted to).
hence..i just showed a sulky face. hehe:p
this sounds sour..!
but dont get me wrong.
im not "dao" okay!

-171109-0112

i enjoy locking myself up in the room.
with fan/aircon blowing extremely cold air at me and hence shrinking beneath the thick woolly sweater..
looking aimlessly at my lappie screen with the music playing on .
my ears are shut with earpiece.
i say..
this is SHIOK!
it's so peaceful and serene.

quiet...............................................................and quietly im immersed in my world when there's only music.


some things..we should really try..like..
being together.
is it possible?
anything can happen.
so,
can we just try?

-061109-0048

i did not purposely show a sulky face.
trust me.
i dont know why on earth i felt what i felt.
"i gotta feeling"
just a kind of feeling in the afternoon.
its like as if hoping someone to apologise for not being able to click with me..................
weird.
but once he left, i felt soooooo much better.
except tiredness which im still feeling right now.
hah.

-041109-2358

I GOTTA WIN THIS TIME!
its a bet on my happiness.

-021109-0103

HATES!
-LIZARDS
-players
-unreasonable toots
-almond
-going for morning class
-being treated as transparent

LOVES <3
-baking
-cosmetics
-boozing (w/o getting a heavy head!)
-people who dote on me
-acts of service

Not looking anymore other than a stupid notti.

hey, if you know me well enough, i bet you'd LOVE ME!