it's really been a long time since i last felt that i actually smiled before.

what a morning to start my day!

perhaps i should say that i kickstart my day as early as dawn breaks.
it was around 4.45am this morning when i heard someone hitting the floor or something.
i was not too sure at first, then i realised my bro turned on the lights.
lizard was the reason that came to my mind.
heck it, i was too tired to wake up and thought that my parents will wake up instead, so that at least it gives me an excuse of not knowing what's going on.
too bad..
none of them woke up to help and hence i reluctantly forced myself up.
to my surprise, i saw a huge cockroach!
i really wonder why guys are so fearful of cockroaches and it seems that they remain as the no.1 bane in the guy's most feared list.
hey..it's only a cockroach, nothing scary dude!
the pest was still alive after being beaten by my bro, so i decided to kill it myself.
i got my slipper and gave it a hard whack.
ok, dead.
my job was done!
i cleared the carcass and was hoping my bro would ask me to get back to sleep.
you know what he said?
he told me to change the current pillow cases to new ones.
LOL.

and since then..i had difficulty falling asleep again:(

-260610-1530

HELLO! MISS ME?
im back from merv's 10th LOCC commissioning dinner.
as you can see..err..i mean sense..im in high spirits today.
though i never got the answer that i want because i did not even ask in the first place, i still gotta thank merv for inviting me to be his partner for this dinner.
i thought many of his army mates will surely bring along their girlfriends but apparently this was not the case!
there was still a handful who brought their female friends, so that didnt make me feel weird.
you know..what a small world out there that i could actually bump onto 2 familiar faces i've seen before in sp.
alvin and yiling are ruth's track mates in school last time and back then we had already met each other before, though we weren't really close friends per se.
merv told me that alvin sleeps beside him, literally.
haha.
thankfully i found someone whom i know and therefore managed to survive in the sea of unfamiliar faces.
you know, i dont really like to attend those occassions if i dont know the people there and if i really go, it is purely because im doing the person, whoever invited me, a favour.
it is simply because i do not like to be left out somewhere in a corner or mingling in a crowd of people whom i dont know and i'll just smile for the sake of courtesy.
therefore you see..i was actually in two minds before i made the decision to attend the dinner.

anyway, back to the topic of tonight,
can see that the officers including merv had a smashing fun time.
crowne plaza hotel was nice with beautiful ambience and everything but i thought that the food could be better.
it was a 4 course dinner and the only setback lies in the shell fish borsch soup that was too salty and the dessert that was too sweet.
to my personal preference, yes i do not really fancy the custard tart. god knows it was so sweet that i asked for ice water after a beer.
but merv likes it! hahahaha..he said this was the only dish he loved the most for the night.
how different we are!!!! haha.
as for the soup, it was of a common census that it really tasted saltish.
i love the peking duck(appetiser) and the fish (main course).
yum yum.....!!!!!

i had taken pics of the food which i'll either upload here or in facebook (depends on my mood).
group photos and stuff will be posted in facebook..gotta wait for the guys to do their job, yea?
alternatively, you can visit my profile @ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=719682084&ref=ts#!/profile.php?id=778579852

til then,
good night,sleep tight,
and dont let the bedbugs bite...heeee

-260610-0217

太夸张了！！！

接近傍晚的时候，在我洗完澡过后就睡了一个午觉。
身体感觉清爽，再加上没有太阳暴晒的天气，实在睡得很甜美。
我把手机放在梳妆台上，在charging.

睡着睡着。。。突然仿佛听到手机在响着。
哦。。原来是我有简讯。
也许是我太累了吧，所以再把眼睛闭上，沉入睡眠。

不可思议的来了。。。
我顿时做了一个似真的梦。
我梦到那个简讯其实是notti发的。
他还叫我darling之类的，并且告诉我他当时已经放工了，有要过来的意思。
我真的乐得手舞足蹈。。谁知道我搞不好还在睡中含着笑呢！哈哈 :D

就在这时，手机又再响了。
因为之前的简讯未读的关系，所以铃声会时不时地响起。
好像被什么恶梦吓醒似的，我睁开双眼，感觉刚刚做的梦似乎会成真！
是吗？会是他吗？
难道这就是我的转机？

唉。。原来是我老板啦！
简直是一场欢喜一场空！
可是话说回来，怎么梦可以那么真实啊？？？？

总而言之，我睡醒了啦。。。
一切还是归零。
想念一个人原来可以那么刻苦铭心，往往总是会让人失去理智。
但是让我一相情愿爱上他的那个人，在另一端的世界里根本不知道我有多爱他。

我有机会听到他叫我darling吗？

-220610-2315

i was in the bus just now when i felt a strong urge to blog.
must blog. I MUST BLOG TODAY NO MATTER WHAT, period.

f*** lah.
had practical test today and fortunately things went quite smoothly.
the only exception was, as usual, the old witch.
the amusing thing is that the more one wants to avoid the other, the more likely they are going to meet.
in chinese we call it 冤家路窄.
i was praying to god hoping that i wont get her as my examiner, but looks like god is not helping me and the only comfort that i was trying to lie to myself was dashed.
ALL dashed.
when i heard her saying "*** and sylvia, you all are under me."
my morale parachuted immediately.
however, i did not let this affect my performance and was even more determined to prove to her that i can do it.
but...........................
you see..let's say when you enter an examination place and proper instruction to start the exam was not told, we wouldn't dare to start first right?
but for us, we can do our preliminary tests first and so, i proceeded and recorded everything nicely.
just when she came over to my station, i reported to her that findings are ok and i'm going to start proper and guess what? she told me to show her what i did and saw during prelim.
that means i must do it all over again!
the only thing i dislike about her is her tone.
she could have told me in a nicer tone right?
her tone was demanding and domineering at that time you know?
wtf!
"show me! show me what you are doing!don't need to let me tell you what to do!"
fuck lah.
i certainly know very well what i am doing but i dont know that i must report every single thing to her. then since now she wants me to do so, cant she request properly?
so RUDE!
an educator shouldn't act in this manner.
if she is my parent, i would have argued back.
i mean, all of us do appreciate someone who speaks to us nicely and not being ordered around. we do not owe each other and so, everyone deserves basic respect.
even if im your student and i made a mistake, please consider us as adults and talk to us tactfully.
it's very funny.
she was in charge of 2 stations, including mine but most of the time, she's got her eyes fixed on my monitor screen instead of the other group's.
manz. i am really marked by her.
in her eyes, am i a lousy and rebellious student?
even though, yes, i do not love school but now i've changed for the better as i begin to get down to serious work instead of just fooling around.
i guess, once an impression has been made, it's a tad too difficult to change it overnight.
perhaps the incident back in 2 years ago has inked a blotch in her heart.
i just felt the unfairness.
i did not hear that kind of awful tone from her to bunny.
maybe she thinks that bunny looks kind and innocent and she doesn't want to hurt her fragile heart.
wei...as if my heart is made of steel and face is as thick as a prata.
i have my pride too, ok?
don't know what kind of grades i'd get..........


i couldnt help but to lament.
why why why, for goodness sake, "abcd" is not my examiner???????????????




haiz, no reply.
perhaps he doesnt even bother to reply.

-100610-1635

seriously dont get it.
perhaps i am being more selfish as years passed and this has got something to do with how i was brought up.

i had always wanted a cake for my birthday cause i thought this is how people usually celebrate this important day and i certainly would like my loved ones to gather around me to sing a birthday song for me!
isnt this the norm?
although others may rebuke that birthdays do not necessarily must have a cake, i still hope for one every year.
but i still dont get it.
maybe when i was a toddler, ya..i recall now...
but as i grow up, the norm switched to being treated to meals and receiving red packets.
i think no one knows how badly i wish for a birthday cake.
to me, it signifies alot on how friends and loved ones appreciate and love me.
but sad to say, no one understands this, hence every year i spend a boring birthday which seems just like any ordinary day without any celebration.

this mentality inked deeply in my heart until one day notti gave me a new perspective.
he too told me that we do not neccesarily need a cake for birthday cause it is the thought that counts the most.
i still remember how he almost used a mooncake to substitute a birthday cake.LOL

im bad.
i do not celebrate mother/father's day and my parents' birthday.
sometimes knowing how some people actually make restaurant bookings just to celebrate these important dates, increases my guilt for not being filial.

argh!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know.
just feel that everything is pretence and very fake.
want us to celebrate bday with them just for the sake of being the same as what other children do with their parents?
maybe...im drifting further and further away from them, that's all.

040610-0032

HATES!
-LIZARDS
-players
-unreasonable toots
-almond
-going for morning class
-being treated as transparent

LOVES <3
-baking
-cosmetics
-boozing (w/o getting a heavy head!)
-people who dote on me
-acts of service

Not looking anymore other than a stupid notti.

hey, if you know me well enough, i bet you'd LOVE ME!