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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Tuesday, September 27, 2011
i never had this feeling before, never ever so strongly.when i looked at baby photos in the past, i only found them cute and adorable that's all. but today it brought me to a whole new level of realization that if we look at the bigger picture, we could see the meaning of life. yes, that's what i saw. procreation is wonderful. looking at the young life you've created, it is so precious and dear. they asked me who the baby resembles in the photo, dad or mum? i think probably more like the mum, i guess. and as i stared at the picture a little longer, i wandered into my thinking space, how will a baby of mine and notti's looks like? sort of ridiculous, but i really want to know. imagine both of our facial features, our genes........................................................ seriously, how will our baby look like? either way it is, he/she will definitely be handsome or pretty. hahhhahaaha..coz of the inheritance of our good looks :p the thing is we are not even together, but why on earth am i thinking of something beyond reality? i once told my friend before that if one day we are man and wife, i'm sure i'll be the most fortunate woman in the world for that's what i feel. yeah, even if it means that i have nothing but only him, i'm contented. -270911-1230 Monday, September 26, 2011
寂寞，就是当我把我要说的话打在电脑荧光屏上， 然后却得一字一字慢慢删除。 寄不出的问语， 传达不出的心意， 它，是一种空虚的感觉。 -260911-0020 -260911-0008 Sunday, September 04, 2011
suppression is the highest level of tolerance it can go.
til the day when this endurance (which i've been trying so hard) ceased, you bet i'd either breakdown or erupt like a volcano. i'm suppressing my emotions to the best i could but whenever someone throws the same question at me, it seems to expose my hatred which i'm trying to hide. i don't want it to re-surface lest being called a petty person, by others. and i also don't wish to face this all over again. it's been a month. a month of recuperation, supposedly, or maybe it's called a month of break. well you guys might think i'm certainly having a good time slacking at home without even attempting to look for a new job. but do you know that a month of recovery is not adequate? i must have over-estimated my healing ability, thinking that i could get over those stuff easily. who knows? i'm suppressing and so it's still somewhere there in me, at that little corner. but those irksome same old questions bug me to feel its existence, forcibly, though i very much wanted to avoid it. others may rebut that it's just a common reality lifestyle problem that not just me, but anyone else could have faced it in some part of their lives, so it's nothing big. yes..somehow that's true but do you know that because of this, it has mutated into a certain form of phobia and fear? this terrible incident left a BIG scar in my life and it matches to what adrian has said before though i didn't quite agree to it back then. now that i think back, i gotta admit he's goddamn right. it scarred me. :( the real me is not so forgiving. yea. i'm turning to the devil. i used to think that it should not matter to me that much. but here, i'm going to say: I HATE U! I HATE U OF MAKING USE OF ME AND KICK ME ASIDE WHEN U DONT NEED ME! I HATE HYPOCRITES! I HATE THE FEELING OF BEING AN EXTRA! FU*K YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it makes me HATE the world now. hate the world for under-estimating my potential. i'm not supposed to feel inferior 'cause i'll rise again. and obviously those people who asked me that question, don't know me at all. -050911-0008 Thursday, September 01, 2011
这世上又不是只有你一个男人，但怎么我的心就从此盲目了？
或许我玩不起，可是我对你的感觉是真的， 为你掉的眼泪也是如此。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。 -010911-2350 |
