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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Monday, July 31, 2006
yesterday was crescent's 50th speech day.it was made into a grand event with ex-crescentian stella ng and minister of education mr thaman gracing the ceremony.i went back to receive the bronze award for my o levels result.honestly speaking,unlike my other S1 classmates,i dont have any feeling for the school at all.sometimes i regret being in the school.sometimes i feel sad for having to be trapped in the school for 4 entire years.my heart yearns for a place in gess.yea..ive made the wrong decision.foolishly and impulsively.over the years crescent achieved alot and rose to a standard not to be belittled.just like how people in the public sing praises for it,i too am proud of its achievement.feeling proud is one thing.but i was neither happy nor felt attached to the school.in other words,i dont feel my presence there as the vital sense of belonging is just nowhere in search.yesterday i brought my daddy along to feel proud of me as his daughter.i want him to feel and witness the hard work ive put in all these while and that it paid off.the first part of the ceremony was all about viewing the video of the school's heritage.during some parts,i guess im touched by certain things.i dont know what has gotten over me.i actually felt touched out of my numbness for the school.cant really believe it.yea..i almost teared especially when we sang the school song and when we did the school cheer.perhaps the ceaseless passion others felt for crescent has touched my heart.seeing them initiating and doing the cheer so enthusiastically,my mood was uplifted.in the past,only some things about crescent left their traces in my heart.it was mr loh and PAT.silly as it seems,i guess my friends will know what is the great thing about PAT im talking about.mr loh was the best form teacher one could ever dreamt of and this makes me proud and fortunate to be in his class.his care and concern and those thoughtful stuff he did for us will always be etched deeply in my memory.perhaps not every single one of my classmates will appreciate it,but as for me,i gotta thank him from the bottom of my heart to show my gratitude for him.im proud to be his student and i can tell he's proud to be our teacher too. [actually deep down, i felt something for the school somehow.] -310706-0123 Friday, July 28, 2006
wow..today was an AWESOME day!a combo of things happened which evoked different emotions in me.i felt great with the beginning of a new day because my eye checkup was today.the thought of wearing contact lens for the first time just excites me.im damn curious about the feeling of putting some kind of transparent thingy into our eyes.today i was late for the eye appointment.i should supposedly reach there by 11.20am but i only reached at 12pm.ive already did my best by rushing to SPOC as soon as my lesson ended.in the end i got a earful of "lecture" by monica lim.at that point in time i was feeling very guilty as she said something which i could not forget.she said"you upset the clinic."oops.the worst part was that kiat wee was rushing like mad.its a race against time for him.[to kiat wee:very sorry.i really felt bad.]anyway,there was this usual procedure whereby we gotta see the alphabets and stuff.those on the 3rd line were like tiny ants.haha.finally i got to put on contact lens.i chose the misty grey colored one because they looked cool.yea..kiat wee put them into my eyes.ahaha..as his hand approached nearer and nearer to my eyes,my instant reaction was blinking non-stop and my head kept moving further and further away.i guess he had a hard time wearing contact lens on me.haha.after putting on the contact lens,i felt discomfort and irritability in my eyes.its like something was pushing against my upper eyelids and my vision was a little blurred like seeing through a piece of plastic of some sort.however,the contact lens looked really nice.OH MY GOD!until now i still love it alot.the sad thing was that both brands ive tried were not suitable for me because the contact lens were too tight for me.that was what monica lim said.argh.there goes my misty grey.=(alright.now lets talk about IDEAS lesson today.it was my big day because im doing presentation.all went smoothly without any hiccups.then,something terrible happened.this is gonna be the greatest shock in my life,i would say.the boys were making alot of "noise" while others were presenting.my view was that maybe they were discussing about other people's presentation.but mok didnt see it that way.he blew his top like some sort of volcano eruption.eddie was acting like a beng.he said to mok"what you want?"can you imagine a student using such tone and words to a teacher?at that moment i thought that a fight was about to break out.luckily it didnt.if it happened,it would really be an eye-opener for me because none of such stuff ever happened in a girls's school and im curious to see the change in atmosphere.phew......after the lesson ended,mok and joshua sng met the boys at one corner,sitting down and talked as if a conference was going on.joshua sng was playing as the mediator,trying to curb the tension.when eddie acted defiantly,my heart almost dropped.oh my god...and the stupid mok didnt allow us to stay in class after the lesson.he wanted to have a private talk with the boys.in the end,he apologised to them for accusing them.well,its just a misunderstanding.the only thing i fear is that he may complain to monica lim.ive warned the boys.if they continue acting in such a behaviour,they gonna land themselves in deep trouble someday.hope they realise that now. CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES one more last thing.i took cable car ride today!!!!for free too.yep it was my first time taking one and the most challenging part was to deal with my phobia for heights.luckily i had someone to talk to inside the cable car so i did not feel frightened AT ALL.a thing to mention.the view below was superb and breathtaking.woooHooo~anyway after that i walked home from mt faber.stylo huh?this will be my first warm-up for poly50.haha...had a wonderful time.really....[thanks]. -280706-2108 Tuesday, July 25, 2006
hmmm...today there are 2 things which bring different emotions to me.lets talk about the sad one first. its about genopt practical test.its so unlucky that im in the first shift and i wasnt really totally prepared for it.i thought that while waiting for my turn i could discuss some stuff with my friends,but who knows..once i reached,chris ng told me that im next.the day began with a missing 3-slit aperture.great!i opened another 'masak' box to look for it but there wasnt any.i called for chris ng and he was also shocked that mine was missing.in the end,he found the missing one in shimin's 'masak' box.gave me a scare...the test was a 15-minutes killer.actually it was not that difficult but the tedious part was to compete with time.15 minutes..no joke man..chris rang the bell to remind us that we had 2 minutes left.if i was given more time,im sure that i would do well.due to the time constraint,my class people all said that they surely fail.haha.i think im gonna fail too.but this time i dont regret because i did study and i knew how to tackle the practical.the only regret i have will be when i didnt study and enter the examination room with zero knowledge.i must really buck up for for genopt.this time round,i gonna soar in the realm of examinations.alot of hard work must be put in definitely. now im mugging and chiong-ing for apchem.i just cant get enough of those past year papers.i want more more and more!!!!the more the merrier.i wanna do well in everything.well,who doesnt?haha...my aim is not to impress anyone,but rather to challenge myself.im standing at the edge of the mountain now.to soar or to fall,only takes a moment to make the wise decision nonetheless.i choose to soar.like an eagle.I WILL SOAR!like what i did for o levels,i set myself goals to achieve.i wanna excel in A&P,APchem and genopt.mark my words.i will prove you with my peserverance! alrite.enough of the sad stuff.lets now talk about the HAPPY thing.i saw k cube opposite w125.hees.i thought that he might not know me,hence i didnt dare to smile at him.so we stared at each other at first..making some eye contact..waiting to confirm that we really knew each other then we flashed our smile.haha..in the end,he smiled at me k........his smile was so sweet.hees.so i smiled back at him.yea..the power of smile is never undermined.it can make someone's day just like how his made my day today.at least from the multiple things to be worried and upset with,there's something that melts my heart.hahahahahahaha...so whats the morale of the story??SMILE~~~ [a happy girl is the most beautiful girl.agree?] -250706-1222 Sunday, July 23, 2006
how i wish to have a friendship which can withstand anything and everything.time is the greatest enemy to me now.as time passes,even the strongest friendship can be conquered,our so-called best friends can even turn their backs on us.time flies with the passing days,so is friendship.i was naive in the past to only see the beautiful sides of every thing.now then i fully see through the flaws behind the deceiving faces.lets be realistic.lets ask ourselves how many BEST friends we have and who they are.if there are just so many BEST friends you have that even your 10 fingers and 10 toes cannot account for completely,i can lend you mine.well,its sad to say i have less than 10 BEST friends.the worst thing is i feel the distance growing now and then.i may sound as if a child crying for attention but hey,im a human too.like what i always said,no matter in love or in friendship,we need reassurance now and then to confirm that our presence are always felt by the other party.even BEST friends can be cold to us.even BEST friends could not make time for a single long-awaited gathering.even BEST friends would rather wait for your call than to take the initiative to do so.In life,im always more of a giver than a receiver.i gave too much and i reap too little from it.having gone our own separate paths,the once so-close friendship is no longer what it seems now-.-[no single thing would last forever.even the best ones may become the superficial.] -230706-0213
[thanks daddy.i love you.i will surely cherish the cd alot because it reveals the love and concern you have for me.you see that im stressed.you see that im tired.you see that im vexed.you see that im breaking down.thanks for understanding me.the cd really means alot to me.in the past i usually asked for cds from you.but this time round you bought for me without me asking for it.really appreciate that.]
-230706-0128 Thursday, July 20, 2006
my favourite song for now...Hard To Say I'm Sorry-Chicago "Everybody needs a little time away," I heard her say, "from each other." "Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other." Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to stay. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. And after all that's been said and done, You're just the part of me I can't let go. Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body. Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love. Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to know. Hold me now. I really want to tell you I'm sorry. I could never let you go. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. And after all that's been said and done, You're just the part of me I can't let go. After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to. You're gonna be the lucky one.
-200706-1748 Wednesday, July 19, 2006
recently,tv shows which portray alot about family conflicts and those about parents with their kids affected me.ghost whisperer>one of the episodes was about a boy's wish to reunite with his parents after his death because he loves them dearly so.love at 0 degree celsius>again it portrays the dilemma and misery of a boy behind the painful fact that his parent's marriage is tearing apart.this is the show which strikes me the most.it just brings back heart-wrenching memories to me with the images flashing back now and then.im also one of the victims of such incidents.i understand the dilemma,confusion and misery behind everything.perhaps at my age,its not considered to be too young to take the pain.as for the little boy(cast),he's too young and its too cruel for him to accept the problems that had surfaced at such tender age.seeing him cry made me cry as well.for no reason my tears flowed naturally.i know that every single decision parents make are not easy because they gonna have an impact on their kids.for parents who are making a decision to divorce or not to,they are struggling between confused minds.if they choose to mend the broken marriage for the sake of their children,then its good.but if the decision they make means inflicting pain on themselves,its not good at all.what if they go ahead with the divorce?adults will lead happier lives for sure.as for the kids,well,they are no longer in their comfort zone.their previous world of comfort has crumbled and what appears right in front of them is another world they have to adapt and live in.though its hard to blend into the new environment,they just have to survive through the ordeal and face the challenge.my world has regained back to normal fortunately.the decision was wise.in this case,it's a win-win situation whereby no one gets hurt.imagine at that time i was forced to forsake one of my parents,i will have one love,one heart less to dote me and to care for me.i guess my life at that time will change drastically.i may not be who i am now. i may be a coward.i may be a fighter.god knows....and never shall i forget the troubled times which i went through especially when my o's were nearing.all i need is just one person who is willing to lend me his/her ears. -200706-0000 Sunday, July 16, 2006
yesterday i bought a pair of track shoes.hehe..so happy..the pair which i wore for like 3 years plus had an irreversible damage.it was torn....i wore that to crecsent everyday and im amazed by the length of time it could last.not bad though.i had to cut cost here and there and couldnt really buy the higher end ones.they looked really nice..too bad..i can only admire them.i saw a "plastic" nike bag(i had forgotten the correct name of the material..oops:X)..it was ORANGE!!so hot~it cost alomost $50.so expensive..after buying the shoes,i doubt i can buy anything else for now..gotta save up abit.now even wanting to catch a movie becomes a problem.argh....i think i gotta work after my exams..maybe i will work as a promoter again.maybe i will not.maybe i will work as a waitress.anyway i still prefer to be a salesperson.the purpose of buying the pair of shoes is to train myself.ever since i left crescent,i didnt really exercise.i miss mass runs.now then i truly appreciate it.i want to train up.train for next year's poly50!!! jia you!!!!!!!!!!to myself.haha -160706-0231
Child-Freddie Aguilar
When you were born into this world Your mom and dad saw a dream fulfilled Dream come true, the answer to their prayers You were to them a special child Gave 'em joy every time you smiled Each time you cried, they're at your side to care Child, you don't know, you'll never know how far they'd go To give you all their love can give To see you through and God it's true They'd die for you, if they must, to see you here How many seasons came and went So many years have now been spent For time ran fast and now at last you're strong Now what has gotten over you You seem to hate your parents too Do speak out your mind, why do you find them wrong Child you don't know, you'll never know how far they'd go To give you all their love can give To see you through and God it's true They'd die for you, if they must, to see you near And now your path has gone astray Child you ain't sure what to do or say You're so alone, no friends are on your side And child you now break down in tears Let them drive away your fears Where must you go, their arms stay open wide Child you don't know, you'll never know how far they'd go To give you all their love can give To see you through and God it's true They'd die for you, if they must, to see you here Child you don't know, you'll never know how far they'd go To give you all their love can give To see you through and God it's true They'd die for you, if they must, to see you here
last night i watched the first episode of "ghost whisperer".from what i had seen during advertisements about this show and the way the name suggests,i initially thought that this is another horror show.perhaps the horror part was yet to be shown and so,last night's episode did not cause adrenaline rush.instead,it was a heartwrenching one until i cried my eyes swollen.the story was about a little boy who died from an accident.even after his death,his spirit still lingers around because he cant leave with a peaceful mind without knowing the cause of his death.till then,he also could not accept the fact about his death and wondered why he was invisible to others.it was like this.his father rented a car from a man and the man told him that the car was in good condition.however,on one fateful night,his mother drove the car which by then,the boy(kenny)and his baby sister were inside too.the car gave many problems along the way.it finally broke down at the middle of a railway track.upon realising the oncoming train,the mother told kenny to get out of the car and run as fast as he could,while she carried the baby girl out.being young and ignorant,kenny went back to the car still wanting to play with the accessory which was hanging on the rearview mirror.the train came and brought about the tragedy.from the day onwards,the mother was guilt-stricken as she blamed everything upon herself.the part whereby kenny returned to his home was the most touching.he did not blame his mother and even hugged and kissed her.kenny really loved his parents.
this show truly touched my heart and a sudden thought struck me from out of the blue.in our daily lives,parents often take the rap for the notorious things their kids had done.however,if our parents make a mistake,will we forgive or understand the reason behind it?will we still love them as much as how they will love us for the rest of their lives? -160706-0154 Thursday, July 13, 2006
there's a reason why i hate to go to fc2 during my 2nd break on every thursday.i will always see the whole bunch of horrible maritime engineering people.perhaps i shouldnt label them and give them such unpleasant nick,but the fact is that there's a limit to my tolerance.argh.today i saw again,at the same old place.in between crs and math on thursday,there is this one hour break,and our class would normally spend our time in fc2 since the venue of the next lesson is near there.alright.i would describe those people as animals or maybe hyenas because i often see them in BIG group and they usually slack around at their common area,which is the one near the fruit stall.what's wrong with their eyes may i ask?its freaks you out when you know that they check you out from head to toe that kind.here comes the question.do i know them or do they know me?the answer is no.we do not know each other and i do not wish to know them.im realistic.when the person etched a bad impression in my mind,it will be hard for me to interact with them,however there are some exceptions still.today ruth and i joined the class at fc2 later because we went to spoc to look for miss lim.the fatso saw me coming and i dont know what the hell he told the others until all looked back at me.im utterly disgusted by such attention.i went to buy fruit juice with ruth then.the bunch of hyenas whistled and the worst thing was that the fatso waved at me and said hi.i avoided any eye contact with them as much as possible,hence i was heck care-ing them.it was only after ruth told me what happened during the time when i was queueing up,then i knew what that fatso did.even after i returned to my seat,they constantly looked over at our side.wth.it was so embarrassing k.i dont usually 'dao' people,but as for this,its highly appropriate for me to do so though its not my usual style.[fight the hyenas!!!!!!!!!!!!!] -130706-2331 Wednesday, July 12, 2006
a perfectionist strives to make everything as perfect as possible though they know that perfection can never be achieved in this world.as the saying goes,"nothing is perfect in this world",so its alright to err sometimes.a mistake or two only makes us more human and not a loser.take it or not.everyone has their own flaws and imperfections which give them their identity.like all other human beings,a perfectionist is still an imperfect person.doesnt he or she want to correct themselves?yes.they wish to upgrade themselves to a higher level and have an edge above others.they also sometimes possess the qualities of a leader because they have the ambition to lead and not to follow.the list of the things they strive to be just goes on.however,no matter how hard they did,they can still never attain the realm of perfection.i saw something about a perfectionist recently.one can be demanding in the course of wanting to extract the best out of every thing.i think i see that in myself too.the person's actions mirrors itself with mine.from him,i see the person that ive always been,and through that,upon realising that such attitude can sometimes be irksome.when we are demanding,time is always the essence we are looking for.meanwhile,we rush others and some of them may not take it and turn the table around,hating us in the end.so is it nice to be a perfectionist?or is it ok just to understand and accept the complexity of life? -130706-0011
i think i have low blood pressure or something.these few days ive been getting dizzy spells and nausea until i almost cant take it.argh.or is it that the flu virus has gotten me?im not sure because the symptoms of a flu have not surfaced yet.ruth and lilin had just recovered from flu and i hope that i will not be the next victim in line.my appetite is quite bad too.yesterday i only had porridge at fc1 for lunch.kiat wee's food looked delicious but i only can look at it,that's all.i dont like to be disturbed during meals and there were 2 men who entered sp and asked for donation.alrite.a few of us forked out some money to make it $10 because i think that's the minimum we must donate.in the end,we got ourselves a watch and it was with me now.the watch is horrible.other than the strap which looks reasonably okay,the rest are bad.i think i will give the watch to someone else.i cant possibly wear that because the size of the clockface is too big for my thin hand.
im very sad yesterday during math.linda tan was so crap ok?she gave back our lab test just before our next test was about to begin.to those who have done well,congrats to them.but what happen to those who did badly?did it ever occur to her that by doing so,some people's mood will be affected badly?what happen if this affects the next test's grade?ive expected for the worst and true enough it was the worst!my heart sank like the titanic did.looking at the results,i almost cried.the stupid excel test had a damn high weightage.oh my god.i'd rather math has exam and dont have lab test.i dont wish to repeat this module.so now i pinned all my hope on my 2 other tests.i think that yesterday's test was not bad and my hope for it was high.if i excel in both the tests,i guess my overall grade will only be a B.where's my A?it flew away with the stupid lab test.im so disappointed man..... i feel so stressed up now.i still have crs presentation tomorrow and on top of that,i think its time for me to revise from the very beginning to where we are now because exam is coming.i must increase my chair time but given my situation now,i feel so sick to even have the mood to begin with.argh........ [its not that i dont want to join poly50.its because im sick now and moreover i dont want to implicate you guys with my running.you all should know that my heart will always be with you all.go dopt! gogogo!jia you~ ] -120706-1011 Monday, July 10, 2006
today's genopt practical was the most fun among all.you know why?because we used the panoptic opthalmoscope.at least this is far better than dealing with those lenses and draw ray diagrams.looking into people's eyes are more interesting.we were supposed to work in pairs but later everyone got high and moved around the place doing the practical on others.its so cool.we shone light using the opthalmoscope into the pupil of the eye.mr chris said we will see a "moon" thingy.haha....the way he described was funny.we could see blood vessels and the next thing was that we must draw them out on our practical manual.i forgot to bring mine.in the end i must draw the enlarged version on an a4 paper whereas other people only need to fill up half of the paper.anyway,i enjoyed today's practical alot!i cant wait to do clinics man......hehei think today was the first time i was misunderstood to be a baddie.when i left my granny's house,i saw a little boy.he saw me and his reaction was like so nervous and panicky.he walked very fast after seeing me and as he walked,he kept looking back to see whether im following him.LOL.do i look like a bad person?as if i will kidnap him or stuff like that.i think it was probably my dressing and walking that gave him the wrong idea.haha..whatever it is,im always easily misunderstood by people.why??!!like the recent incident that happened to me a few days ago.i dont wish to probe further anymore.anyway,i think everything's solved.but the atmosphere is very much different as before. i cant wait for tomorrow to come!it's our class tee day.i set this lame rule that everyone must wear class tee tomorrow,and girls must wear either white or blue accessories to go with it because the tee consists of these 2 colors.as for the guys,hmm....wondering whether or not they will be wearing the class tee tomorrow.hope they will.yay~i can wear the blue earrings which i bought at bugis.yipee~ -100706-2020
aren't we hottt????tai tai:the heat is growing~
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i shall talk about last saturday 8/7/06.that day was our gai gai day......it was fun in the sense that we got to spend money like there's no tomorrow.LOL..in fact we only spent on those cheap stuff like earrings and hairbands..the most expensive thing we spent on was the thumbdrive..
i met qinghui,sihui and huimin at bugis mrt station,but coincidentally,ping han and huiling were there too.later ping han joined us and brought us to simlim square while huiling went to meet her friend.travelling on the ECP,one incident happened.its not a car accident.it's something more bizarre than that.a car had broken down in the middle of the lane,causing quite a terrible traffic jam.i wonder how the driver actually drove the car,until a wheel detached itself together with the car shelf.it was so horrid!i was thinking like "oh my gosh!the driver is so pro~".i was late due to the traffic jam,but never mind,that's me.there was a pasar malam at bugis.crazy chabor bought so many stickers...haha..but they were nice though.next,we walked to simlim square.ping han was our tour guide because he was rather familiar with the place and knew which level could fetch better stuff.so we just blindly follow him.frankly speaking,i was so sua gu~never been there before.the cheapest thumbdrive we bought cost $32.90.we've been to many shops to compare the prices and those shop owners sort of looked down on us,thinking that we were students,thus unable to afford.i decided to agitate them even more.i purposely asked them to bring the thumbdrive to us and tell us the prices and in the end we were not buying.so we just gave them extra job to do.ping han was looking for a lappie.i like the sony brand,especially the pink colour one.it cost about 2K+.oh my god!later ping han left for work while the girls continue shopping for thumbdrive.seriously i dont like simlim square because of the lighting.same as those in apchem lab,it made me feel dizzy. then we went to bugis village and bought lots of earrings and hairbands.i bought a purple hairband while sihui and qinghui bought transparent white and lime green respectively.we had our lunch at pasta mania...so delicious...marinara and mago smoothie tasted great!next we went around to look look see see.we took lots of neoprints too!!!love them loads(i mean my friends and the neos).we used two machines,one of which was really disappointing.we chose the natural mode yet the final pictures showed us turning into charcoal that kind.can you imagine?i really looked like charcoal,not even giving me a nice tan to flaunt about.we saw most of the girls dolling themselves up before taking pictures.this i could understand,but the only thing i could not understand initially was why they must apply so much eyeliner and mascara.after taking pictures with that horrible machine,i finally clear my doubt.eyeliner and mascara adds on to the effect which will make one's eyes look big and "cute"........so the girls purposely open their eyes so big until i think they are about to pop out.the other machine produced awesome effects.for this,we could omit drawing black outlines on our eyes. it was evening time.i decided to go to PS to find ed and ping han.the rest were being forced to come with me..haha..but actually this didnt mean much.it was very hilarious.sihui and me stood outside thai express and peeped inside,looking for both of them.we waved them ok?damn funny.chabor said that we were as if sending them off,never to see them again,like those scenes in airport or prison.LOLLLL..abit of tears should make the situation more realistic right?haha.. oh ya..i got myself a nick called tai tai~its lame actually.but let me make this clear.im MISS tai tai..because im not yet taken.hahahaha..in conclusion,i enjoyed the day alot.its the people who made my day.thanks! -100706-1935 Saturday, July 08, 2006
wow..im amazed!!!!! Wednesday, July 05, 2006
oops.ive not been blogging these few days......i shall talk about my 2 weird dreams for the previous night.its not surprising for me to have dreams about violence and stuff.yer..its sort of like being the players in the streetfighter game,kicking,punching etc.however,although im dreaming,im not physically doing those actions at the moment.at the most i would just throw my pillows like some flying saucers.i didnt understand how my primary school friend ended up in my dream.after the end of primary school,we have not been keeping in touch,hence its weird that i suddenly dreamt of her.its pathetic that we ended up in a fight for no rhyme or reason or maybe ive jolly well forgotten the reason.well,i did those famous stunts of mine on her.oh no.but frankly speaking,i felt more relaxed after "fighting" as i punched and kicked those tension far far away.perhaps the dream was to help me to relief the pressure. the other dream was saddening.i dreamt about monkie's wedding.shit.i finally saw the bride.well,no offence or what because ive not seen her in reality,the virtual person was only so-so looking.just a normal looking girl without the astonishing beauty.i dreamt of both of them together and monkie was so sweet to her.you can imagine those scenes without me describing further.in the end,when i woke up,i realised that i was tearing.shit.i thought that i no longer harbour any hope on him anymore.i miss him alot.i thought that im moving on..i thought ive gotten over him.. im frustrated that my heart is not obeying me now.it does not listen to me and whatever i wish to do,it acts in another way.i did move on.thats true.i began looking into the beauty of other people in my course and realised that there are some people who are worth considering.theres one.however,i feel that he's not staying in my mind.cause there are only floating images of him and i dont really miss him that much.its different with monkie. oh ya.i gotta thank kiat wee for recommending me those love songs.they are really nice especially the "i finally found someone".very meaningful.i ever thought of working in hotels helping in wedding banquets,when i was looking for a part-time job.i was telling my dad about this and i joked that i would spill those food as my arm strength is not that strong.haha.imagine me spilling the big pot of sharksfin.ooooooh. yesterday i accompanied witch to spoc for her eye appointment.the thing took like 1 hr plus.i actually intended to leave earlier and join the rest of the class at the guildhouse.but holy shit.i would be like travelling from one end of the school to the other under the scorching sun.moreover having a girl with no direction sense to do that,its even more hilarious.oh well,i dropped the idea.hence i waited for witch.meanwhile i studied human biochem,hoping that time would pass fast.later i wanted time to pass as slowly as possible beacuse i felt that i like to stay in spoc longer.in fact in year3 i would have plenty of time there.haha.me,witch,shi han and shi min ganged up to be late for math lesson.lesson ended at 3 and we appeared only at 2.we were an hour late.hahahaha..casper and kiat wee said that mrs tan is interesting.is she?to me and others,she's boring.never mind,meanwhile in spoc we got to watch tom and jerry.i watched that before actually while i was working in taka square.if the cartoon can entertain me,why not watch it again?mrs tan asked me to answer 1 question.phew......luckily i knew the answer.. [love is a game.we play to win but we lose it still.to me,love is like a goal.we very much wanted to achieve it and enjoy the fruits of success but not everyone can do that.the hope is still there but the final result is not always desirable.] [to kiat wee:hey!i change the font size le.can see anot?dont miss any line ar...hahahaha>.] -050706-0951 Sunday, July 02, 2006
 ~Jung Joon Ho~ ~Kim Jung Eun~ ~ so sweetttttt~ ~Princess Lulu~ princess lulu is an awesome show!kim jung eun acted in lovers in paris too...i simply enjoy and love to watch this show because some particular scenes really touched my heart and evoke my feelings within it.at certain point in time,i feel like my plight is quite similar to kim jung eun.there are just so many things we are restricted to do,keeping us at a distance from those things that can actually bring us true happiness.last night the actress said something that made me cried.she said something like this:"everyone thought that i have everything just because im rich,but in fact i have none.its only until now that you(jung joon ho) told me that you're mine,that really makes me feel that i have everything.'cause you are mine.you belong to me."awww...how sweet and touching.i agree that being rich can give a person a sense of satisfaction but this is not where true happiness lies.just like kim jung eun,her life does not belong to hers,literally.its somehow controlled by her grandfather who is of a higher authority and has the most say in her life.talking about a life that is unfortunately owned by someone else,i suddenly remember my friend,emily.as for her,she has totally no control over her life.whatever that has been done must be consulted by her 'mother' beforehand.what's life to her in this case?having to struggle and juggle her time between school life and the things that are dictated by her "mom" for her to do,i really empathize with her.its a sad case when the dictator in our lives is not ourselves,but someone else.whose life is that,may i ask?in life,we are the fighters who fight for the things we want to live for and paint a wonderful masterpiece which we are proud to say that it is my life,my true purpose in living.while having someone else to cruelly control us,treating us as if we are the slaves or robots which have to obey to the highest calling,its meaningless.things we do are not according to our wishes and not even for us to say a simple "no".the feeling is like the remote control of your life lies in someone else's hands and the particular element of freedom is missing and it can be easily destroyed to pieces by the one who is happily pressing the different buttons on it.he/she is grinning,our hearts sink.how we wish that our hearts will stop pumping at this very moment.there's one thing i admire most about kim jung eun.in the show,though leading an aimless life,she musters the courage to live it like a happy princess.she does get a bit cranky but i guess that's what makes her cute and attractive.although she gets hurt along the way in love,she can still pick up from where she falls and living the admirable attitude again. [we lead.we control.but what if someone else snatches this task from us by means of our unwillingness?] -030706-1315 |
