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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Sunday, March 25, 2007
           sleepy sunday. though i woke up at 11+am, i was still missing my beauty sleep. went to ikea with daddy with one aim which was to buy curtain thingy. dont know what exactly it was called but was those handle thingy for the curtains to be hung up. every trip to ikea never fails to bring me eye-opener experience despite for the fact i've only been there twice, including today. we saw a never-ending stretch of awesome stuff, some of which i even thought of buying them to furnish my house. guess in the days to come, my house is gonna have a brand new outlook. perhaps some painting work to be done plus some addition and subtraction to the house layout. my dad was interested in a 50+ bucks standing lamp, wheareas i took fancy in a tulip canvas painting which costs about 100+ bucks. ahhh! not to forget the red swivel chair and the foxy carpet which my dad found it stinky. i fell in love with that carpet when i first saw it at elaine jiejie's house. yes, it was love at first sight! imagine having that in your room, turn on the air-con and you sit on top of it. lemme tell you. that's sheer bliss!
i went to work after that. i was the only one in office. duh! its sunday ok? LS immediately when i stepped into office. not surprising at all, i guess it must have been last night's lor mai gai. great relief! phew........... you gotta congratulate me for melting the ice mountain, which seems to be almost impossible at first. yeppaye! took some pics in office. as usual..oh yes! this time it includes my snack: nutrisoy, a poster in the toilet in conjunction with clean toilet campaign *lol* & last but not least, my lappie. -260307-0017 Friday, March 23, 2007
bet ya dont even know what happened.i was terribly hurt, hurt by what he's said. some things are just so fucked up. fucker. i gritted my teeth very hard just now, clenching my fists tightly, not allowing myself to shed a single tear. i endure all the pain. im never going to give up. so PLEASE STOP GIVING ME NEGATIVE INFLUENCE OR PRESSURE. i know what im doing. if its encouragement, i will gladly accept all. but if you're just asking me to quit, c'mon. save these words for yourself. excuses and excuses i've heard, but none ever brought me disappointment as much as tonight's. UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED. just now something flashed past my mind: what if i really rebel? lemme tell you, i will if im being forced to the corners. so please allow some lee-way if ya dont want things to turn ugly. i started the day with almost 100% confidence after what thomas has said last night. i was HOT HOT HOT! ready to chiong all the way! really wanted to call garry up just now to meet him at my house downstairs. perhaps he's someone i can turn to right now. but i dropped the idea seeing that it was already late. fortunately, he rang me just minutes ago. if you see me still hanging on, its simply because i believe in all he's said, especially this: xiang xin yi qie jiu shi zui hao de an pai up till now, these words are still fresh in my head. well, he heard me just now when i was on the downside of my mood. who can i really turn to? i feel that pat..............maybe because i dont wanna disturb him, knowing he's stressed enough. or perhaps..? i feel that he doesnt seem to be the one i can turn to leh. i keep everything to myself, he too did the same. children are not born to be ingrates ok????!!!! -240307-0002 Thursday, March 22, 2007
 How can I convince youwhat you see is real Who am I to blame you for doubting what you feel I was always reachin', you were just a girl I knew I took for granted the friend I have in you I was living for a dream, loving for a moment Taking on the world, that was just my style Now I look into your eyes, I can see forever The search is over, you were with me all the while Can we last forever, will we fall apart At times it's so confusing, the questions of the heart You followed me through changes, and patiently you'd wait Till I came to my senses, through some miracle of fate I was living for a dream, loving for a moment Taking on the world, that was just my style Now I look into your eyes, I can see forever The search is over, you were with me all the while Now the miles stretch out behind me, loves that I have lost Broken hearts lie victims of the game Then good luck, it finally stuck like lightning from the blue Every highway's leading me back to you Now at last I hold you, now all is said and done The search has come full circle, our destinies are one So if you ever loved me, show me that you give a damn You'll know for certain the man I really am I was living for a dream, loving for a moment Taking on the world, that was just my style When I touched your hand, I could hear you whisper The search is over, love was right before my eyes -220307-0132 *may our destinies become one*    SUCCESSFUL in maintaining a smile for the day through troubled moments. tons of burning questions to ask, tons of confusion and uncertainty. who can give me an answer? can he? i won't let history repeat itself. if i were to die, give me an answer to let me rest in peace ya. don't leave me hanging can? i hate such feeling. either you lift me up or just cut the rope and let me fall.. -220307-0128 Monday, March 19, 2007
      the last pic was taken in garry's car. that's right! i'm sitting at the front seat. *smug* wahaha... -190307-0149      GREEN! -190307-0114 Sunday, March 18, 2007
my heart is so heavy right now. i want to cry and i need someone to hug badly. i really don't understand how someone can be so nasty. can't he just spare us 15 mins? we're not forcing him to buy anything as yet. we just want to show him an interesting fact about water. it's just a short live demo. he can treat it as learning something new today, expanding his knowledge or he can even share today's eye-opener experience with his friends. how come his insight is so shallow? how come he only sees things from one angle and not the other? how come he can't see the bigger picture or think out-of-the-box? the most frustrating thing is the kind of attitude he shows to a visitor. there's a chinese saying which says "guo men shi ke", which means that whoever steps into our house, we must show them our warm hospitality. and guess what? he made garry wait for very long, giving excuse to bathe. cast this aside, the rudest thing is that he shuts himself in his room and refuses to come out. how would we feel? even though garry appeared like nothing has happened, we can't. as part of the family, my bro and i felt very bad just now. why make things so awkward right? when i knocked on his door, telling him that we're leaving, he doesn't even bother to send his guest. i thought he would open the door and allow garry to say goodbye to him.....but..the worst still happened.well, this is the kind of unusually low EQ he has. i remember there was once when uncle wong came to our house while dad was still at granny's house watching vcd. i called him to inform him about uncle wong's arrival and you guess what happened? he continued to watch his vcd and only came back like 30 mins later. fuck him lah. if you put yourself in this situation, i'm pretty sure you'll come back home straight right? it's not nice to keep your guest waiting, moreover when that person's your friend. who he think he is? president or king ar? at least 8th aunt showed a better attitude. when she knew that garry had come, she was asking where he was. i didn't say anything because dad'd around. he made everyone and everything so awkward. it's no wonder why his relationship with bro will never improve. i believe that everyone has a little pride and ego in ourselves and when it comes to being a man, his ego and pride is definitely higher than females. imagine that dad just "drove" his friend away. now it's not a question of how garry feels but rather, how bro feels. he's lost his pride undoubtedly. i understand bro's character. his face is as thin as a sheet of paper and a heart as fragile as a piece of glass. it's so obvious that dad did not spare a thought for his son. moron head! i didn't know what to say to garry, except for repeated "sorry"s. the "good" dad has put shame on his kids. so fucked up. his brain needs a thorough wash man! *pui* -180307-1836 Friday, March 16, 2007
just came back from 3rd aunt's house. fortunately, with garry around we were able to clinch a deal. the key thing is garry's presence, i emphasize on this. wakau. he really possess the qualities of a trainer. if not for the fact that he' in elken, i would have pulled him into akltg. he got the right attitude, mindset and most importantly the hard-to-find optimism which everyone is lacking. he has a gift for the gab too! with him around, motivation simply rekindled in me.i see that bro still have a lot to learn from him, especially the right attitude. this guy is not a simple one. he is very driven towards his goal and makes sure that every second, every minute he seized is put to good use for creating own's learning opportunities. i merely interacted with him or no longer than two days, yet his optimism and the spirit to learn amazed me! that's what a guy should be. personality, brains, looks...he has it all. garry's zest for life surely will bring him very far. if only bro can see this in him and put it in himself, im sure he can go as far as garry too, someday. i was sitting at the backseat in his car. looking at his backview, something just touched my heart. well, he definitely would make an ideal boyfriend but no sparks yet. haha. how come the 2 "gary"s are so alike? the only difference would be the extra "r"..................... so currently, i have two jobs in hand. when school reopens in april, studies come in again. will be busy like mad! then i will officially become a busy girl and pat's the busy boy =p yay! i wonder whether i can sustain for long sia... -160307-0042 Wednesday, March 14, 2007
my eyelids are closing; head's hanging lower and lower..i'm getting sleepy lah..went to elken today and had a free facial over there. first time in my whole lifetime having so many people looking at me during the whole process. garry did facial for me. oh my god..so gentle and so.............. my heart almost skipped a beat! clue you abit. he looks 1/2 like yan xing shu and 1/2 like wang ren fu. not bad rite? that's why i say sales line is none but full of challenges. we must be more thick-skinned..have more self esteem, more confidence and more belief that we can get over disappointment. was rejected and felt really low just moments ago. perhaps i should learn how to pick up from situations like this and move on. YES I CAN DO IT! GAMBATTE!!!!!! hey, you know what? i was free from insomia for one night, last night. all thanks to dear's sms reply. it's actually very simple. just a word from him makes me worry less about him and my head gets lighter after that. so, i enjoy a sweet night of sleep. ok..gotta hit the sack now. nites! -150307-0046
argh! not a happy day!!
woke up in the morning experiencing pain in my left eye. i thought it might be due to some kind of heatiness which results from insomia. YES, I'M HAVING INSOMIA EVERY NIGHT. actually not really. it's just that my melatonin level is slightly affected, hence my wake and sleep cycle changes. turning in later and later every night. been thinking or rather, missing someone madly. once i close my eyes, my mind is so full of him and the times we spent together. lovesick. went to see doc in the afternoon. it's the same old sickness: bacterial infection of the eye. last time the stye was on the conjunctiva of the upper lid, now it's on the lower lid. why my left eye is so sensitive huh? i think it could be due to getting a lift from danny yesterday. the air-con was down and we wind down the window. as the car travelled at high speed, the wind blew ferociously at me and hence ya, i guess somehow or another some donkey shit entered my eye. fortunately, i consulted the doc before the stye flares up, if not a surgery may be needed as what has happened last time. was given topical eye drops and antibiotics to be taken orally. hope the stye will subside and i can apply eye makeup soon! no mascara, no eye shadow for the time being. *hmpf* some pics of myself taken yesterday at work. (when there's still eye makeup. ahhhh..will miss 'em!) YANG, I NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
-140307-0119 Sunday, March 11, 2007
*woots* gotta hit the bed earlier tonight for tomorrow's earlier-than-usual waking up.bringing granny to hospital for her appointment. well, i don't see this as an obligation but rather as what a grandaughter would do for her love voluntarily. though the timing is so errrrr... just gotta wake up donkey hours earlier. ok lah. before i snuggle up to my huggy pillows, here's what i took today. the theme is red, probably. don't ask me why there are so many new pics recently, i have no idea too.. obsession gets stronger, i think. hmmm.. hey dear. if only you can still remember this red tee. does it ring a bell in your head? im wearing it! seems like national day is coming closer to our doorstep. LOL. tatas <3      -120307-0000
past midnight. so lets begin the day with some pics o'mine..
alrighty, doesn't matter if you can't catch the hint: that's my new messy look lah. my fave is the 3rd pic..the light looks like a halo, doesn't it? gotta hit the bed now. so ya..morning! and nites! to those night owls like me. good night, sleep tight, & don't let the bed bugs bite. (coz it's gross..jokin'!) think i shall visit sk1 later in the noon. tatas <3
-110307-0017 Saturday, March 10, 2007
         SUNNY SATURDAY! ALOHA!my mood is just as bright as the day! stayed at home throughout, feeling sleepy and hungry. *dots* when i slept in the noon, i dreamt that granny heated up two char siew bao. they looked good and smell good! wah..i became so hungry then.. when i woke up, i went straight to the kitchen hoping to see the two char siew bao on the table. big fat hope! there was nothing! argh..hence i went to ah ma house to scavenge for food. had 3 mini doughnuts, 1/5 of bak kwa, 2 small pieces of roasted duck & lastly, 1 mini peach. don't know why, everything was in small servings but totalling up, they made a rather huge share. ah ma bought my favorite roasted duck! awwww..so sweet! so what if they're fattening? heehee..i simply love them (if the bones are removed as well, they will taste heavenly!) yumyum..cant wait for dinner.................................................. a day without makeup and i look like this! still, the obsession n'ver dies! *muahahahahaha* give you some flying kisses! *mwarhs* hmm..there's a handsome daddy staying at the opposite block..can cook too! *faints* -100307-1848 Friday, March 09, 2007
Is being competitive a good thing? I'd always love to stay at the peak and have an edge above others. That's being competitive to me because I think that without competition, there will be no improvement. Competition gives us a push forward, a drive to bring out the best in all of us. Frankly speaking, I love competition and this eventually becomes a motivation to me and somehow or rather, it also reminds me of something called perseverance. I'm not being a difficult person here, you see. Perhaps due to the environment I grow in, I want to outshine as many people as possible. Though it's not a needed requirement, this is a pressure or criteria I give myself. I know myself well enough to notice that I'm one person who works well with deadlines, if not I will be slacking all the way. Being competitive tells me as and when to slack or be diligent. I've gotten back my results but I'm not exactly very happy with it. Everyone says that I've done very well. Hmm..personally I feel that I've improved alot and the results are certainly not bad. The thing that upsets me is that stupid gems, causing me to lose a 3.7 at least. I could have done better, that's what I told myself. I will be following cube this semester with regards to his choice of gems. Hope he choose wisely.. I still remember during the time when I received my O's, the very person I thought of at that instant was Gary. This time round, it was Patrick. Weird as it seems, I almost reached out for my phone that night wanting to give him a call. In the end, I didn't. Why does the same thing have to repeat itself? That time I didn't call Gary, and this time it's no different. So I just sent him an sms. But I called cube! Though he did not pick up the call, I know just as much that he will be happy for me. Well, Pat's happy for me too! Cube helped me alot in this examination and probably because of that, I wanna call him personally. Hmmm..another week to pass before I can finally go out with Pat. That's his promise and hope he will not forget. Glad that he has some similarities with me..hehe *zip*..Does a girl always hope that her bf will walk around with her, no matter how short it will be? Ehhh..I do feel that way. Just a simple walk is deemed as romantic to me! See..afterall I'm still an easy person to get along with =p  *Smile like this!* -100307-0051
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