soooooo tiredddddd......................
i just found my
power song.
this song undoubtedly soothes my emotions and gives me confidence when i need them the most at this point in time.
when i'm stressed up at the thought of pract exam tomorrow, this song reminds me that other people are also having a different kind of practical exam somewhere in their lives.
and it's just all about being in different line and occupation.
wish me luck.
give me faith!
flat top bifocals tomorrow please!
Aku yang lemah tanpamuAku yang rentan karenaCinta yang tlah hilang darimuYang mampu menyanjungkuSelama mata terbukaSampai jantung tak berdetakSelama itu pun Aku mampu tuk mengenangmuDarimu, kutemukan hidupkuBagiku, kau lah cinta sejatiBila yang tertulis untukkuAdalah yang terbaik untukmuKan kujadikan kau kenangan Yang terindah dalam hidupkuNamun takkan mudah bagikuMeninggalkan jejak hidupkuYang telah terukir abadiSebagai kenangan yang terindahi was told to feel the melody.
and since then, i fell in love with it :D
-310708-1851
hais..how am i supposed to feel??went to school for less than 30 mins just for photoshoot (using slit lamp and phoropter).it won't be a major concern if the pics were well-taken.OBVIOUSLY THEY WERE NOT!!!my god!it's for next year's school brochure and they made me look so ugly!!!!!!!!high expectations zero down to nothing..i don't even dare to see the final product lah.....so 丢脸 :(-300708-1338
SYL!things won't be the same anymore..don't harbour any hope on it..i really wish things could stand still.i really thought that i can change the outcome.i know i can't force love............................i seriously still think that there's a way to mend the crackand that...................................................we can return to the past.i suddenly feel so ashamed of myself.i hate myself when i ran to the phone.didn't you know that the status is different now?stupid girl, you're so thick-skinned.and stupid notti also.
does it take very long to go and see a doc?
you're so stubborn..........................................................
i'm concerned about you.
now's my turn.
my throat feels sore.damnit.
-290708-2329
can you believe it?
i slept 11 hours last night!!!
i'm mentally exhausted to the max!!
i was like half-dead at the end of clinic.......
glad that i didn't drink chamomile tea last night, or else i shall sleep more than that!
haha.
really truly enjoyed my sleep, when dreams made it even sweeter...
*laughs* why do i keep dreaming of notti ar?
as if i miss him alot lo....
but it's quite true also.
had not been seeing this bestie for about a year.
i do only see his pic on msn, that's all.
hahaha..
weird.
even when i'm in a super tired state, i can still dream of him.........
shooo~~~!!!
:D
-290708-1734
:)
-270708-1827
hello people...
hais...can't sleep..
and i'm waiting for the song to be completely sent to notti.
took
ginseng supplement in the morning.
guess the concentration is quite high ya..
i'm still feeling quite hyper and awake in the wee hours.
power!
but also partly because
i'm happy to the max!1. holidays coming! 30 aug-12 oct......6 weeks leh!
2. special caller from a special call
3. free tourguide when needed
4. aftermath of afternoon's sweeeeeeet dream. think i'm smiling through.......hehe
-270708-0236
the weekend's here again.
it seems like it's a few days ago matter which had just happened.
don't quite like this weekend 'cause must mug and prepare for a major battle next week.
i'm more afraid of the pract than written tests...........
thank god. today's revision gave me more confidence.
today's weather was super cold!
that's why i'm back to wearing this Taz pullover at home.
still had to wait for bro at the taxi stand just now..
even colder man.....
this reminds me of genting.
saw this foreign worker collecting used cans from rubbish bins at the taxi stand.
seeing him leave with a bag full of cans, should i say that i sympathise with him?
imagine that you've come to a foreign land trying to carve a better life and yet you're reduced to collecting cans on the street........................................i feel sad.
but this shows that their initial determination to strive stands still, and STRONG!
jiayou!
had lunch after clinic at fc2 with laochen,eddie and kamen.
laochen introduced me to pig skin -.-
i think the uncle likes me...hahhaha...'cause he gave me those that were without fats!!!
i'm actually taken in by laochen's explanation that pig skin contains collagen.
myth? fact? too late to think now...it's already in my tummy. hahahaaaa
i rushed to my phone as soon as i heard it rang.
had not been listening to this ringtone since that night.
but i would still want to run to it.
-260708-0024
You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So closeAnd still so farthis song is taken from the "Enchanted" soundtrack.while i was searching for the lyrics in the web, someone posted a comment on this song saying that it's suitable for separated relationships.........hmmm...to me that sounds pretty true..but i was especially sad when i see "so close, and still so far"hated this kind of feelings..it's just like this person is never within my reach and that fantasy of being together could only virtually bring the two people closer.so ya....this song sorta impacts on me.anyway..thanks notti for sending me this song. i gotta give credits to your taste:)you know what? i couldn't embed this song from imeem...hence in the end i created a new profile there just to share this beautiful song with you guys!-240807-0012
Dreams, indeed, is a weird thing.
Some dreams are intertwined with the daily activities in daytime, while others just happened ridiculously out of coincidence.
To me, dreams are fantasies.
Nothing can explain how dreams are weaved in a state of deep sleep as yet.
I had a nice dream this morning which made me just wanna keep on sleeping.
It's rather exaggerated but afterall, I'm very happy and feeling all sweet about it.
Lemme recall..
I sneaked out of house one day with my passport and travelled overseas.
to a place...with some people.*but i won't tell you where it was*
I had a great time over there until i forgot all about the time!
I gotta reach home before dawn breaks and my dad discovering that i'm missing...........
now back to reality.
maybe it was a fantasy.
maybe it was a forbidden thing to dream of.
but since waking up until now, remnants of that dream still exists.
how i wish i'm still in
that place:)-220708-2217
ALOHA!at least there's a happy news for today.
just received an sms from lao chen saying that vivien's test is postponed to next thursday, so no lesson this coming thursday, which means i can sleep longer!
but having said that, i'm having second thought on whether this is truly a relief 'cause this also means that we will have more activities lined up for next week.
tham's test, photoshoot, lek's presentation, vivien's test and pract exam.
1,2,3,4,5........5??!!!!!!
today's my off day.
actually, all tues are my off days...hah!
so i cooked some dessert as a past time.
introducing teochew dessert, fu chok:
my first attempt on it.
ummm....but i'm sure it will get a good 10/10 on second attempt!
overall, poeple did enjoy it.hehehehehe.
so..it's still a success :)
-220708-2050
vision screening on a beauuutiful sunday!
should i say that i'm blessed or cursed to be in management section?
i was almost out of breath when those old folks kept streaming in one after the other and i had to literally use my stamina to handle them.
there was a language barrier, that's one thing.
it also requires a truckload of patience to repeat the same old thing to them and especially when it comes to explaining the directions, i was on the verge of vomitting blood.
& i need to constantly project my voice loud enough so that those folks with hearing difficulty could hear me.
stamina+loud voice+patience+"CANTONESE"= OMG!felt like i'm half-dead by the end of it.
met a ridiculous mad dog who came barking at us before getting her facts right.
should have told tham 'bout it.
i feel like they don't treat me as part of the class.
i don't feel accepted.
if they can be concerned about other cliques, why can't they include me too?
do i appear to be so transparent to them?
bought a whole bag full of bread for
the rest.
shared some cookies-like thingy with
the rest?
did they even ask me, when i'm just right beside them?
HELL NO!did they ask me to join them for crab feast?
NO!i'm not greedy over food lah.
it's not as if i can't afford them.
food/activity is a secondary matter.
what matters to me most is that they didn't even ask me.
it's out of politeness and courtesy to ask right?
shallow-minded people!
but nevermind, i've found my real friend lilin!
i gotta ask again: am i so detestable?
went to tiong to get bubble tea.
YES! finally had my fave honeydew ice-blended after making a mistake in ordering honeydew milk-tea the last time round.LOL
saw
the rest at sweet talk too.
weird lo...between us there's like only around 2 customers
and they were in their own world so didn't see me.
is it deliberately?
until i took initiative to say goodbye to them.
i can't stand this !!!!!!!!!!
why should i be nice?
should have acted blur and deliberately walked past them with my eyes looking at the sky.
HATE THEM TO THE MAX!SHIT THEM!went home feeling down but the bubble tea soothed my mood a little.
had
ecuador dark magnum just now.
dark chocs should make me happy.
hah!
oh, this new edition of magnum is highly rated.
it's VERY NICE!
check 'em out!
who wanna hit the beach with me?
i wanna rant and curse and scold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
who understands my fury?
-200708-2338
i miss you.
how i wish that time backflows to the happy moments we both shared.
today is not the ending i want.
i still feel the same for you.
-190708-2252
so sorry guys!
won't be showing u all my new look tomorrow 'cause my hair's not cut yet.
raymond confirmed that i'm involved in the photoshoot, thus i thought it might be a good idea to just keep my current hairstyle until everything's over.
i will then go for my haircut after it ends.
stay tuned...haha.
went for a mega shopping spree with bro at vivo today.
shop shop buy buy!!!!!!
hahahaha...
met a joker in Armani Xchange.
this malay guy was dressed in red tee and jeans.
he was choosing his clothes beside us and on the other side, there was this pair of girl friends beside us too.
one of the girls called this malay guy to help her get the clothes of her size.
the guy said "i'm not the staff here.hahahahahaha"
only then he looked at the real staff promoter and compared what he was wearing to his and finally realised why he was misunderstood.
that was funny!
this man was not embarrassed at all but could still laugh heartily.
so, the two girls blushed and laughed aloud at their mistake.
bro was laughing and i was, too!
i was laughing like some spoilt laughing recorder -.- even after the big hoo-ha was over.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
for tomorrow's vision screening, i will be in management.
YAYYYY!
waited for soooo long!
finally comes my chance to talk and talk and talk!
but not like this lah...............hahahaha.
just for a laugh!-190708-2235
today is bad.
things just went wrong.
could not tie my hair well without any rhyme or reason in the morning.
love the URS shoe which i just bought like 2 days ago, only to find out that now it seems like a size bigger.
dragging my feet while walking not because i'm lazy, but because i'd a feeling that the shoes might just slip off anytime.
could not exchange them 'cause it's worn already.....!!!!!!!!
started a day like this, it's no wonder why things couldn't be smooth-sailing.
was acting like a lost fool in clinic.
didn't realise that the dim reflex was caused by a technical fault of my ret. not too late to find out though!
had a super hard time correcting that ah ma's subjective refraction.
she showed an unhappy face for blaming us of letting her wait for >1/2 hour.
what sia?!!! she was way too early for her appointment what!
all the blunders man!
underperformed in progressive dotting during pract.
many attempts man!
i was so disheartened that my
tears almost flow out.
waited for bus with vivien.
told her i was disappointed with my dotting.
she still encouraged me to jiayou:)
HAIS.........................................................
pract exam in 2 weeks' time!!!!!!!!
30% which means 2 grades difference.
god.
i don't wanna hyperventilate.
-190708-0008
ahhhh...thanks rena for recommending me such "good" stuff.
don't think i will follow the rule, but you guys just take this opportunity to know me better then..
here it goes:
1. i wanna share "negative things"(song) with notti.2. i sleep like a pig.3. i love to cook and prepare desserts.4. trust that notti's taste is good! will never get sick of listening to his songs repeatedly.5. suat hoon is my best friend:)6. i enjoy soccer as much as guys do.7. i still love him.8. my best cousin is serena!9. i wanna make kh our sister buds!10. poking lilin is fun!11. there's so many things/languages i wanna learn!12. makeup is my life.13. how to use a liquid eyeliner?14. i'm naughty too lah! i love to argue back!15. the more you nag at me, the more resistant i'll be!16. i can't stand myself having nothing to talk about in other people's cliques and stone there like an extra..17. i'm not an alcoholic, but i'm looking for a drink partner.18. i will have a different haircut, different hair color every semester.19. "short hair suits me ma?"20. i miss those tel conversations with you in april.-180708-2351
don't care.
i finally pluck up my courage.
i'm going to cut my hair this saturday.
sunday's vision screening; you'll see a brand new me!
that's the result of over-stressed.
-170708-2348
how to describe my feelings now?
how am i gonna digest all the bad news in a day?
fear.lost.rage.
a little of each mixed up together.
the pre-reg legislation is coming up.
i have no choice, but my dream to become an air-stewardess has to be pushed back.
and to again fulfil quota in 12 months like how ITP works.
August is a month of nothing, but
stress!
bloody hell.
i'm really frustrated over dispensing pract exam and that stupid competency test.
all because of this frightening element called frame adjustment and PERRLA!
who can resolve my phobia?
it is as intense as how i'm scared of lizards, you bet!
i can see the intention of the school of wanting us to be fully geared when we are set free into the working environment.
that means of course, intensively honing our skills in this final year so as to protect ourselves and the school's reputation.
instead of just brushing up our skills in a robotic way, don't you think we need more human factor?
i'm actually quite neutral to the pre-reg thingy..
but it now seems scarier to me..
sense of fear.......................................................................................................................................
i'd rather have my presentation today than to face this fact.
GG
-170708-2343
>.<
sianz...im bored!
in library now reading blogs and doing the usual stuff like FB and friendster.
feel so stressed up now..
gotta compile jiajia's assignment tonight when i reached home and touch up on danny's presentation.
TOMORROW IS PRESENTATION DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wish me luck o~
im waiting....for annmarie and sister ho now..
time passes hell slowly..bit by bit...arrrrghhh
-160708-1225
LUNCH.
would you prefer the convenient takeaways or tedious-but-sweet homecooked food to settle your meals?
i know, it gotta depend on situations sometimes too...
for me, i particularly love homecooked food.
when of course, i'm the chef of the day!
i love to cook but it takes a great deal of experience and not just passion that counts.
however, as a beginner, it gotta start off with a flaming passion!
so for lunch today, spaghetti's on the menu.
well..you can claim that this is not a very difficult dish to prepare.
but what satisfy me the most was the prep and the process.
heehee..perhaps this is also the mindset of a home-maker.
thinking back, i should have included meatballs and parsley in my list!
hah.
next time lo.
i refrained from going to 7-eleven to get a beer today.
self-control.
what happens if i'm upset?
hmmmm...be EXTRA hardworking in doing housework.
WASH,COOK,SWEEP,MOP,PACK etc.
that's the best way to temporarily setting my mind free.
i was online early in the morning at 8am.
no one to talk to.
they must have been either at work or still on their bed...
only notti "disturbed" me..
i don't know how to describe it.
but i kinda feel that someone out there is worried/concerned about me.
i mean...he knows what are some things he always said that would make me smile
and he just went ahead with it....
bestie!
-160708-0054
Quisiera decirte que hoy estoy de maravilla
Que no me ha afectado lo de tu partida
Pero con un dedo no se tapa el sol.
Estoy muriendo, muriendo por verte. agonizando, muy lento y muy fuerte.
Vida, devuelveme mis fantasias, mis ganas de vivir la vida, devuelveme el aire.
Cari?o mio, sin tin yo me siento vacio, las tardes son un laberinto, las noches
Me saben, a puro dolor.
-150708-0034
waited super duper long for suitable "colored" lenses, i've finally successfully placed my order for 1day acuvue define vivid! YES!
apparently, not many colored lenses suit me as most of the time they will be too tight for me.
hmmmm...but today vivien commented that the fitting was acceptably loose..so ya....IT IS STIL ACCEPTABLE!
hahaha.
ordered 8 boxes in total!
vivien thought i went for eyelash extension so she was joking that if she pulls my lashes too hard during lid eversion, they might fall off.hahhaha.
when things go right in the first place, it continues on.but when you feel as if you've woken up on the wrong side of the bed, one thing tumbles right after the other.the girls went to east coast for crab feast after clinic.
i wasn't invited:(
but never mind lah...crabs only mah..no big deal!
i'm still contemplating whether or not should i go for a new look, a new haircut..
waiting for notti's advice...
he promised to cut my hair.
the stars; still safe in my keep.green and white.bottled up in the night.-150708-0019
did not sleep well last night.
i really could not sleep, but surprisingly i'm still feeling quite refreshed today.
behind closed doors, i'm feeling frustrated.............
i hate to stay awake.
get me to sleep please?
-130708-1757
had a girls outing with dear lilin yesterday.
couldn't believe it. we walked for 6 hours non-stop, which was only to be realised after we looked at our watches!!!!!!
we combed 3 places altogether: citylink/suntec, bugis and orchard
and as promised, we had our long-awaited ice-cream!!!!!
princess had her rocky road delight while i had my mango temptation.
didn't know that we could actually learn about something from the way that indian girl mixed our ice-cream.
[勉强是没有幸福的]
ya..we might as well go our own ways if we can't accept our differences...
i had initially thought of going for a round of drinks at night with her, but i didn't ask in the end.
so ya...i'm still looking for a drink partner. ruth can't, rena can't, suat hoon cant.
too bad! who's there to drink with me?
princess is crazy over Sixties....but thanks to her wonderful recommendation, we found really nice clothes there!!! this shop gonna enter my fashion list!
in turn, i also recommended her the famous and delicious bak chor mee in food republic.
i didn't eat, which i kinda regret now that i'm veryyyyyy hungry!
just the thought of food alone excites me! hah!
and did i mention that we met some horrid people in bugis and in town?
as you could guess, they were like some bugs hovering around us. yeks!
spent about 100+ bucks, but still, it's the time that is ever so precious to me!
that's the kind of life i want.
that's the kind of weekend i want.
i need an activity partner.
parting our ways is probably the best solution.
-130708-1737
tinting lesson today!
just some sort of art lesson to me, but i totally LOVE IT!
i tinted 3 lenses.
mickey mouse
blue and
pink,
pink and
grey,
brown and
blue.
i intended to take the mickey lens 'cause it's my one and only masterpiece. HAH.
now, i just kept them to myself.
ahhh..drop the subject,
did anyone know how to tailor a pillow casing?
ohhh..another thing.
kamen and i almost collided onto each other in clinic!
luckily it's just a bump and not the really unglam collision, if not both of our patients shall burst out laughing.
kamen:"the noticeboard covered you mah..so i didn't see you...."
nice one.
-110708-2317
if you think the coffee's too bitter, add some sugar cubes......that's so simple. sugar cubes are available easily within reach.
but when it comes to a real life situation, it's not that easy to find someone to be your sweetener.
i'm slowly giving some thoughts to what notti has said and not rushing through everything myself.
i'm glad that i have people around me to give me invaluable advice.
my feelings went downhill the past few days but at that point in time, there's someone who picked me up from the pit.
just wanting to cheer me up, this fella could actually act/say foolish stuff.
and of course, he's succeeded.
his first words would be to ask me whether i feel any better.
and we lamed and daydream together.
he's really a wonderful friend.
his words just welcomed a warm fuzzy feeling into my heart.
deliberately or indeliberately, i could sense genuine concern :)
thanks notti.
the next time we meet, i wish i can help him with his problem as well.....
5 days...he hadn't called.will tonight be the same?instead, notti's been there for 5 days.-100708-1507
"think twice before you do anything, so you do not have regrets."
notti told me this.
up till now, he's the only one who doesn't know my problem but could sense that i'm unhappy.
thanks for your concern....
-080708-1545
If you, if you could returndon't let it burndon't let it fadeI'm sure I'm happierbut it's just your attitudeit's tearing me apartit's ruining everydayI swore, I swore I would be truebut honey so did youso why were you holding her handis that the way you stand?were you lying all the time?was it just a game to you?But I miss youyou know I'm such a fool for youyou got me wrapped around your fingerdo you have to let it linger?do you have to?do you have to?do you have to let it linger?Oh, I thought I loved youI thought that nothing could go wrongbut I was wrongI was wrongIf you, if you could get bytrying not to liething's wouldn't be so confusedand I wouldn't feel so usedbut you alwaysI just wanna be with youand I miss you-070708-2347
SUPER FREE SUNDAY!haha.
that's why i love weekends so much...........
even if it means simply doing nothing at all, i so enjoy every single bit of it.
today's recall:
woke up mid-early at 11am. had chicken feet hor-fun for brunch. hmmm..hope 'chicken feet' doesn't disgust you. hahaha..they are delicious (provided if you know how to cook them well)!!!
it is one of my fave dish for dim sum too!!! *when am i having dim sum again???*
lazed around and basically just nesting at home the entire day. watched tv and used the comp mainly...........i think that hk show was awesome! the name of the drama is 溏心风暴. not to mention, there is my fave actor Bosco Wong. what i love most about the drama is that it never fails to accentuate a happy family portrait no matter how harsh the obstacles were that the family had faced. looking at 常在心 and Alfred, i couldn't help but to feel that the roles they are acting are
our replicas. for that, i'm able to empathise with the girl's feelings....................
so this show killed 3hr of my time:)
as usual, FB and some net-surfing next.................
went to the supermarket with daddy to buy monthly groceries. trying felicia chin's "vitagen with collagen"....hehehe...& how come there's only 1 pathetic bottle of rose flavour in a pack?i'm saddened by the small variety of instant noodles too. can they come up with new flavours? *winks*
that's the end of my day.
if only you could tell, yes, i was bored.-070708-0000
nothing's too interesting about today.
but...i will still have something to blog about:)
bro asked me the same old question which i've been trying to avoid recently.
i just kept quiet.
'cause i didn't know how to answer him.
the honest answer is not right either........
hmmm..seasons change, weather change...
all these seem to imply something.
just take today's weather for instance.
it was originally cool and breezy.
as afternoon came, the weather turned gloomy and rained.
it didn't impact much on my emotions 'cause i felt neutral today.
prior to this, i could sense that a storm is coming my way one day.
now, there is neither rhythm nor beat.
hmmm...plain and peaceful maybe...but that's often the signs to a brewing storm, ain't it?
unsaid stuff are piling up one by one.
as it slowly fills up to the brink, i find it even hard to spill it out.
the words travelled up to the throat but i swallowed them, back.
'cause you're too important.
-060708-0104
today was the last day of dispensing...
sold 5 pairs of frames and lens since day 1, which is something i find it to be quite unbelievable, but the thing is i didn't hit the quota for dispensing adjustment.
how?????!!!!!!
i'm unhappy with the marks allocated for rimlon during practical.
it's just a minute gap and unless you have a pair of microscopic eyes, you won't be able to detect it.
not just that, the thread was already taut by itself.
is that my problem?
my axis weren't off you know?
nowadays, education's like that.
you gotta stay competitive if not otherwise, you'll lose out.
so, 2 marks difference means alot to me!
should have let the guy mark instead -.-
really had a mental block today.
si hui asked me what gems i'm taking...
it took me 3 secs to reply her.
oh shit! it's damn obvious that i'm lacking of sleep.
weekend's coming!!!!!!!!! the best days of the week! i'm not going out, i suppose.
so, i shall enjoy deep long sleeeeeeppppp~~~
it's time to change the whole mood around.
hehe...trying the shimmering blue nail polish tonight.
in love with blue lately. hmmmm..
electric blue is da kind!
plus some grooming in the weekend,
TIME FOR A CHANGE, GIRL!-040708-2326
had a great day out with rena and kok how!
i even had consultation with dr love!
haha.
and dr love's consultation fees ain't cheap either.
but realise that this dude has a deep insight into love, that's how his doctor status came from!
hahahahaha.....
hmm..what he said did makes sense and maybe i should consider about it.
give me time to think it over k?
one thing very funny.
since when did vivio has an in-built safra?
that's sasa lah..........
*it's normal for guys to go there toooooo!*
i tried white choc mocha frappucino today.
NICEE!!!!!!!!! but i feel that the whip cream was a SIN!!!!!
went to eat ramen for dinner!
i love sister ho and sister lee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MUACKS!
ni men zhen shi wo de jie mei!
hahahaha....
rena keeps saying that ben yeo smiled at her. WIN LIAO LOR!!!!!
-010708-2337
