i'm a little disappointed.
but quizzes said that i can self-assure.
hmmm..
then it will be that he hadn't notice he have "new messages".
i find this delusive instead.
whatever it is, he's so far away from me.
i lost him.
i lost smiles.
i lost devil.
i lost notti.


a shoutout.
a song.
all "invisible man"
why you wanna make me lose your presence?
and miss it so badly that as if i was about to die.
how can you disappear just like that?
you wanna run away?
i just miss your notti.


your last words of concern.
made me cry for more.
and they indeed made me cry.
as they were your last.
now, no more.
in the future, will there still be any?
i should have asked:
when can i hear news about you?
that you're free and lonely and want a chat with me.
even if you're making use of me
to keep you accompany online.
i agree.


saw addy lee on tv.
& suddenly my heart mentioned about you.
same profession.
same kind of shirt.
you're straight.
the sleep after which resurfaced your face again.
i donned a purple evening dress.
with super straight tresses.
there you came,
with a hair spray.
what a gentle touch, a midas touch,
you gave my hair magic.
another life, another me.
i love it
the new hair.
i love it
the new look.
i love you
my new heart.

-281207-1653

my christmas..
not too bad! shopping here and there. makaning here and there.

but lord's not fair to him.
is this the christmas he's getting?


i thought i won't feel a thing..
it's just a thought only...until my heart felt a thing.
the girl's really fortunate.
karma, i guess..that makes him wanna love her in this life.


it's quite sad actually..
that i don't get his reply and he loves someone.






merry christmas.
this is my 2nd day of christmas........................................................
my love life is jinxed.
god have to make me a fool.
a fool who cannot controls her heart and gets dictated by a will-not-come-true outcome.
so i was telling him, life sucks but we have to accept it.
accept the fact that we are all made silly fools!

-261207-0026
happy birthday garry!

2008;

just finished watching "lovers".
cried like hell.
it's so damn touching!
especially the last part when hah kang jae's daddy was murdered n the poor guy was convicted to 7 years jail.
yin mei zhu waited for 4 years for him n fortunately appeal was successful and he was released early.
yan shang zhe died when he shielded the knife for hah kang jae, leaving behind his wife n daughter.
tragic ending.........but everything fall into place nicely in the end...
gonna re-watch the show again but bro said that i'm crazy.
whatever!
hahahahaha..had a hard time searching for the OST in the web coz it's a 2006 production, hence considered as quite new..
perhaps should search for it in the cd shop...................


he said that i look like a poodle.
ok lah..this time im not angry with him coz i found no reason to.
numb.
when he looked at me, i don't seem to feel anything..............................



the year's ending soon.
i don't wish for love.

-191207-1111

how is it like to miss someone?
is it just a norm to wrap the word "miss" in your ending conversation?



i mean it.
if i don't miss you, i surely won't.
but if i miss you, you bet.
i will surely be thinking of you night and day.
hahaha..not so serious lah..
but at least i will take a moment off involuntarily to resurface your image in my mind.



talking about this, means something.
means that i miss devilboy.
thought he could bid me farewell but i guessed he have not seen my message.
2 days le..my message is still unread in his inbox.
quick..log in boy..
but i'm more concerned about his health.
hope he isn't too stressed out though................


ya.
i do think of him..
sometimes in school, sometimes before i sleep, sometimes at work.
wondering how nice it would be if his break could extend from the time when we last met.
those were the moments we really let loose and chat..


anyway, i will be heading to shanghai tomorrow.
be back in 5 days time.
meanwhile, may everything stay peaceful for you guys!
i will miss him, kidney, suat, n those at home!
:)

-061207-0027

有苦难说。

why?
why must it happen just when i'm mending my heart?
why?
why must it happen right smack at this moment?
why?
why must it happen just when i was about to leave with a peaceful mind?


he hurts me deep.
his words made me feel insulted.
they made me feel as if im a cheapo, as if im a shameless girl.
what can an apology do after sarcasm was made?
im so so disappointed.



who wants to have a coffee with me?
when im back from shanghai..



& thanks daddy for enlightening me..



when you have the fame and influence,
they stick like some leeches, onto you.
when you are powerless and isolated,
they slide off like some mountain erosion, off you.




better complete my stuff before i fly off..
bye dearies!

-041107-0152

HATES!
-LIZARDS
-players
-unreasonable toots
-almond
-going for morning class
-being treated as transparent

LOVES <3
-baking
-cosmetics
-boozing (w/o getting a heavy head!)
-people who dote on me
-acts of service

Not looking anymore other than a stupid notti.

hey, if you know me well enough, i bet you'd LOVE ME!