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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Sunday, April 29, 2007
hmmmmmm..a food for thought: time is an essential tool to get to know someone better. many things i still haven't know about him. what i have grasped now perhaps is just what has surfaced on the superficial level. or the things i witnessed may just be another pack of lies that are meant to deceive innocent fools. i have no idea i belong to which group of scenario, though i sincerely hope that it's not the latter. saw pat's sis jingyi at pasir ris mrt station in the evening. the first thing i thought of was pat, and hence i asked :where's your bro? at home, she replied. he seems to be so free, i suppose.. when i passed by pasir ris drive 1, i again thought of pat who happens to live in pasir ris drive 3. the truth is i have not forgotten about us, about him. then here comes another fella. am i bad? but the fella today disappointed me. okok..i tried hard to cling on to my belief that everyone has their own interest and they have the freedom to defend them. but i think that if now a soccer match compares to the one i like, i will still choose the person. as for him, he may think otherwise. well well well............... im so scared when im left alone in the streets. rounding about the same place over and over again, i feel that im as if being stuck in a maze. imagine a girl walking along the road at midnight when there's only the dim street lamps to guide her.. and there's a stranger walking behind her. how would you feel? SO LOST. how i wish you can immediately appear in my sight and i will run into your arms. that's me last night. as for tonight, if not for my good friend chris, i would be confusing over which direction to take in pasir ris. -290407-0219 Friday, April 27, 2007
thanks rena..a simple sms showed me your care and concern. & in fact you've sent me tons of it. haha.. appreciate it! thanks again :D wowwww..i dare not believe it. my mood is affected by him. i can switch from feeling happy to lousy and vice versa because of him? YES! madness! now my mood is not within my control. *knock knock* are you still sylvia? =p i could not explain how i felt when i saw him just now. after he left, i was flashing my smile from head to toe. even mommy asked me why i was so happy. i love looking into his eyes because they give me hope. they give me strength to move out of the darkness. they made me believe in myself. perhaps in them, i can see a better reflection of myself as someone who is fuller with lots of potential. they are like the little stars whch showed me the way and guide me to the pathway of light. no joke. it's no wonder people say that eyes are the windows to our soul... i declare: i like him (as a friend)? & i still need some time to get over pat. today i saw him online again. but i didn't talk to him. since he's so slack now, he has loads of time to recall our promise. it's plain obvious that he is "bo xim".. T_T disappointment and disappointment overtime. sick of it! -270407-0020 Thursday, April 26, 2007
ahhhh!it's charging at me again! *frets* back to school after 1 day MC. and guess what? i feel that i almost could not blend into the environment again. the environment im referring to is friends. or maybe it has always been this way. last year semester2..it happened. to be honest, my so-called better friend is ruth. but i can click with haojin, lilin and linjian they all too. it seems that ruth is drifting away from me, towards haojin's clique. and so left me alone straying about in school. today..im talking about the entire day. moved around with haojin they all, ate with them during lunch, BUT i don't feel like im part of them. yes, physically we may seem to be a group, feelings wise, i felt casted. there's almost no connection, no attraction that lead me to them. when they talked about something which was strange to me, i was curious and hence i probed further, simply because i wanted to feel connected. but their reply was cold. ruth was cold to me, but maybe i could understand that as she was sick. you know? when i wanted to fit into their conversation, the more i felt that im isolated. no common grounds or whatsoever. sometimes i even feel that im thick-skinned. or "extra". you'll notice. including me, there are 5 people. im the one always walking at the back, in singular fashion. disappointed. my image of polytechnic is ruined. HEY, WHICH AREA HAVE I NOT DONE ENOUGH? AM I NOT HELPFUL ENOUGH? AM I NOT FRIENDLY ENOUGH? DOES FRIENDS COME WITH STATUS??????????????????? and my ex best friend qing hui.. now the kind of look she gives me.. don't know how to describe it. cold maybe. VERY distant. deep within, i feel sad but believing how the power of state can influence us after watching THE SECRET, i tried hard to maintain a smile and pretended all's well. sometimes i wonder, since humans have selfish interest, then how come some people can sacrifice for their friends? just like aik leng's clique. though sheryl was late for class, she waited for aik leng who arrived later than her, then they both went for lesson. i was late, but ruth chose to go for lesson first. excuse given was: i book seat for you first. in times when she wanted to go to SAA, i accompanied her. OK. i bear with her attitude problem. she can talk without making sense of it first in her head and sensitive people like me will feel the arrow head. so nowadays, i'd rather remain quiet in class since i have nothing common to talk about. nice people always get bullied! HMPF. only when im in elken and akltg, i see hearts in the people's eyes. -260407-1837 Wednesday, April 25, 2007
FUCKING HELL.I HATE BREAKOUTS! & IT MADE ME SICK. FEVER AND DISCOMFORT BECAUSE OF A STUPID VIRAL INFECTION. i switched off my phone today and so some of you might have gotten late replies from me, or worse still, some of you might not even be able to reach me if you called. my apology. when i switched on my phone, i saw his sms. feeling upset over my silly feelings for him, i ignored it. i wanna deliberately avoid him. i wanna pull back, retreat, and stop being reliant and nice to him. i'd rather be the girl he've met initially. but still, i picked up his call in the end. there's always this sweetness in my heart whenever i hear his voice. thanks for your concern :) laid on mattress and watched THE SECRET dvd. at first i thought that it was a documentary, if not a da vinci related show. after watching for like 1/2 hour, doubts were still floating in my head. then i finally got the message. it was telling us about energy>feelings>vibrations>attraction>what the universe can give us. hmm..this is very interesting to me. so stop thinking about the impossible, it says. even if the dream we have seems far-fetched, we can imagine the scenario when we really possess them, and viola! it can happen to us! there's this thing called "the visual board" which works by sticking our dreams onto this board and dreams could come true. haha..it's just an ordinary board, you see.. it's how you believe it and work for it that counts. fulfilling relationships? health? wealth? just unravel THE SECRET. those well-known people in history like edison, einstein, beethoven etc.. have you wondered what made these people so great? yes, it could be their inventions. but behind all these, lies the essence of THE SECRET. they merely made the impossible lunatic thoughts into POSSIBLE REALITY. ahah. 3 magical words: THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS! whatever thoughts we may have, they can be presented in reality. because in normal circumstances, thoughts often lead to feelings. so, what are my thoughts about him that lead to my present feelings huh? -baffled- rena said that i may have taken a liking for him. hmmm..is that the case? -250407-2024 Tuesday, April 24, 2007
HEHE. IM SO SAD.which do you believe in? can't figure out why i feel so sour.. didn't feel too good since i reached home. my heart has a sour yet bitter feeling.. faking a smile along the way. the usual HEHE or HAHA will not be what you all had heard just now. can you feel the difference? eager to see him after we didn't meet for like 2-3 days.. only heard his voice but not seeing his face. oh well.. am i falling deeper and deeper into the barnacles? quicksand? when i saw him, i wish i wasn't there instead. weird leh. I JUST DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD! LEMON heart. maybe i should pull back. before it's too late. -240407-0027 Sunday, April 22, 2007
how true can feelings be?he called again today. lemme recall the kind of feeling when i first saw his name appeared on my handphone screen. hmm..it was some sort of eagerness, wanting to hear from someone important quickly. then when i heard his voice, the feeling was....hmm.. wanting to keep the conversation going, for as long as possible. the kind of never wanting to hang up. but the thing is, our topic encircled the same thing over and over again. just like a roundabout which seems impossible to get out of it. i wanna engage a new topic which may help me to know him better.. feelings, to me, is like a trap. i fear of getting bruised over and over again, but i always fall for it knowingly. just when i think that something is working its way out, disappointment never fails to work its way through instead. have you ever had the same kind of feeling of wanting to confess to that person right in his face instead of plain waiting? ANSWER is something we want, but we're always beaten by the opposite reply. AHHHHHH hope he doesn't treat me like a little girl..or worse his sister. his voice and everything comes like a sunshine, even in the rainy days. a tinge of warmth sizzles up in my heart.. and it brings a smile! this is how he brightens up my day. *ya know what? above are all typed using my left hand. right hand's immobile because im waiting for the nail polish to dry. hehe* -230407-0006
love "wei xiao pasta"!!
it's not just about the cast. but rather something i can connect to. can we be the next cheng xiao shi and he qun? looking at them, they also started from nothing to something. is it possible for us? his call today gave me a boost of energy. does he genuinely care for me? or is it just..? as a friend or just a.....? yes, i should feel fortunate that at least he bothered to call me. -220407-0122 Saturday, April 21, 2007
 hey, what's your way of enjoying life? tell you what..it's a super nice cool weather now.. going to rain in a moment's time, i suppose, when the thunder's roaring madly. who cares? i just shut all the windows and switch on the air conditioner. class95 fm's soft rock weekend playing on air. wowwwww~ that's the kind of life i love! tsktsk- maybe instead you feel like snuggling up on your bed. frankly speaking, i feel a little sleepy too. hehe came across a friendster profile which warns me that the user is a pervert. this fella viewed my profile and i always had this habit of viewing them back. the pictures were psychotic!!!!!!!! thus, i reported to the friendster authorities. eew! i was listening to hu yan bin's "waiting for you". my mind was so full of pat. i could remember vividly that on 2/1/07, we went to a ktv pub. he sang this song while holding my hands. i surrendered to such sweetness and that's when we got together. the body language, the feeling, his eyes.. all spoke a dozen words. tears flowed instantly. gosh, i still couldn't get over him. but i dare not appear online and chat with him, despite knowing that he's rarely online. why is it that i do not know how to seize the chance? i knew someone nice. watching him study was something endearing.. a precious moment indeed! 'cause in his eyes i saw his serious and focused attitude, though there were funky sides of him we'll see most of the time. that's why i was saying, if we can strike a balance in the things we do, we would want such people. and for as far as what i've observed, he possesses this quality. STOP DREAMING! sometimes i wonder: instead of encouraging words, what about an encouraging hug? hehe..that will be more powerful yea? boohoo! -210407-1638
Thursday, April 19, 2007
 from left: me, chris, li xue sheng, david, meriani, robinson           
today was like a time bomb planted on me, as it was my deadline.
i was panic stricken and my whole head contained nothing but SV. erm..actually there's more than that lah..hehe even keep thinking about it during lectures and breaks, but fortunately it didn't cause insomia to me. you know what? i felt so stressed and upset because of this for an entire stretch of time. then suddenly, i really feel like hugging someone or rather, that person can give me a hug. *Oi, stop dreaming again lah! don't expect too much. KONK* was late for the first lesson which happened to be clinical optometry practical. lili marked me late. alas, miracles happened to me!!! and i ought to show some appreciation. finally attained my manager position but i know that im not going to stop there. strive for greater heights! thanks garry! *do the AK hugg* i thought my mind has lesser flashbacks of pat. who knows? when i saw clorets at granny's house last night, the first thing that came across my head is him. and when i finally opened the wrapper to eat the cloret, ahhhh~the feeling is so.......... something near yet so far..that kind. it's the taste of our first kiss. *ouch* my heart aches again.. as i was on the bus slowly reminiscing the past, i wonder whether he will still cherish the relationship. at least please tell me he did. the contact lens module was a disaster especially when we have a new teacher. ohmygod! his accent and...his not-so-up-to-standard knowledge. he even said that he was not too sure about some things. *bang my head* oh yes! my office is moving to a new place. so i gotta make full use of my 3hr break tomorrow to go down and start packing.. feeling excited all about it. whee~ i shall not forget this day: 19/4/07 -190407 Monday, April 16, 2007
    don't know why.. my mood just now was in a mess. BUT after seeing him, i laughed! my "kai xin guo" happy fruit? lemme explain the pics above. the heart was made from Bonjour pandan bread. nah i did not cut out the shape. instead, i bite! haha im so in love with the Haagen Dazs tee.. eat eat eat and blow my blues away.wahaha hmm? i wanted to be with him leh. close to him.. sit right next to him.. cross the road together.. think too much le! *neh~* -170408-0014
ROTTEN FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i always thought that a little sacrifice is worth it if it can bring us the unexpected. BULLSHIT! i sacrificed my lesson time..was late for school on the first day. waited for some people to explain filing.. the response was rather positive and i thought that it should be going my way.. guess what? when i reached home in the evening, i was thrown a bomb! help ar!!!!!!! i seriously got no more time left!! you know this kinda feeling..can make me cry you know? i wanna cry out loud. was tired but remained positive and optimistic about my result (thanks to garry) even when others said that its impossible, i still tell them that i can surely hit 8k. but my reply today was almost like "ya lor..can't hit le" im almost there!! only left the last lap to complete. the stupid tiny weeny bit..garry asked me to continue the way like how ive achieved the 6k so far.. eeeeh..now this method is stuck. not working anymore.. my throat is so dry and pain.. and today did the stupid idot near vision test during practical. gotta read the bailey lovie chart over and over again until my throat hurts. and i parted with 70 bucks for uber expensive X-cyl lens.. merely two small sets yet they cost so much!! do you have anything for my throat? now i understand why gary's job is "talk and talk and talk some more" i needa talk alot too..until larynx screams for rest. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's not only you who's anxious for me ya know? im even more stressed than you k. pat says "be right back..go bathe" in msn and he's never back. went offline after that. foolish me still keep the conversation window open. -160407-1920 Saturday, April 14, 2007
busy busy day!went out early in the morning and even missed a family gathering in the evening. as a result, i gained daddy's cold look at me. when he reached home, i asked him how's the dinner. & he showed me that look again.. shit! must wait for volcano to simmer again.. why does he have to always take things so hard? shouldn't we take things in our stride? things happened and we could only accept the fact that they have passed us by, right? i know that it's my bad for promising them at first that i will attend the function but only to turn them down in the end. im stressed now okay? deadline's getting nearer and im so damn shocked by the fast-paced time.. i don't want to give up just like that for i've put in so much effort right from scratch till now. school's starting on monday and because of this no one would like me to attend meetings. i miss everyone and someone!!! today carried a big luggage, two plastic bags full of stuff and my own handbag. people stared at me wherever i walked. hmm..is that pity? these days, especially today, i talked until my throat sore. was rather amazed by the capacity of words that came out from my mouth TODAY. hehe tried the lingerie set and everytime when i tried on it, i would not want to change back. just too comfortable! daddy's ignoring me. damnit. how to tell him about winner's night? garry, help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! appointment, family gathering, appointment, family gathering..which is more important? i also don't know whether i made the right choice. lets weigh the importance..hmm.. i only know that success comes with a price behind it. the thing is whether or not this price has a lot of value. so all in all, i sacrificed a dinner tonight. do you believe in karma? i sorta believe in it now. first up was this person called "A"..my first crush. followed by a "B" who looked so alike to "A" then now, here comes "C" who has something similar to "A" walao..am i indebted to "A" in my previous life? how come all the "B" and "C" resemble him so much? *hehe..see if rena can read my mind and decipher this simple alphabet game..* cindy took pics of me and grace with my phone.lol. she has lousy skills...wahahahahaha....=p    cindy's parrot fish..bigger than mine (last time) -150407-0028 Thursday, April 12, 2007
 can you please enlighten me? are all the gar(r)ys in the world so damn talented? ya know what? i admire him from the bottom of my heart. today was a stunner and a nerve wrecker. i thought a crossfire would result but it became peace. hehe..sudden thought of giving him a hug.. damnit..this guy's too charismatic! this kinda of idolizing is more meaningful than that of a celebrity. he's simply my SUPERSTAR! & SUDDENLY pat came into my mind. *i miss him* took 2 pics with ah ma just now. was quite saddened by the pics. had an urge to cry when i realised how thin she looked in them. her face had sunk in from the sides, differing from the rounder face she used to have. now her face is as small as mine... i just don't feel too good, man... feel alot for her.. sympathise with her for having gone through tough times when taking care of ah gong. -120407-2349 Saturday, April 07, 2007
                 attended ianeve's 1-year-old birthday party at tanah merah country club yesterday. reached there rather early to help out in the preparations and decoration of the place. frankly speaking, it was an eye opener to me because i've never seen any child's birthday party as grand as this, out of my own experience. there was this jungle castle in the room which was what we usually would see in carnivals, whereby it's made into a playground by pumping air into it. so, that was the main attraction of the party. kids were on the high and some parents even joined in the fun. gorgor, serena and me had our fair bit of share too. it's not as if we were some giants conquering the kids playing ground but mainly we were deprived of a good childhood.haha. this was my second time playing such stuff, thus this became a reminiscence of the good old times. we were really crazy! i didn't know that playing this can be a form of stamina-building exercise. wooo~ was introduced to this fat man who kept persuading us to join his company, even my dad and bro were not spared. too bad! i shall and will stick to garry. boo! so, we showed our dislike towards him by..............making him tumble! haha..tim tim asked: "why this fat man keep jumping and jumping here?" and we decided to make him fall! 1,2,3 and we (me, serena, tim tim and tommy) jumped with all our might and that clumsy fella was desperately holding onto the sides for support. what a hilarious sight! i've never felt so happy. yesterday was the day when i truly laughed out loud. it's amazing how doing a simple exercise like jumping could lead to laughing, and laughing which leads to momentary dementia to problems. check it out! when you're upset, find ways to laugh hard (even if it might not be genuine). let out some air and tada~you'll feel like you're a deflating balloon and you will be less troubled. cool right? "what cannot be expressed finds expression" --gary lee says this. it's a pity garry couldn't come or else he will play with the kids until hell breaks loose. -070407-1308Thursday, April 05, 2007
WHY?why must everything end up in such a state? i thought that this time can be an exception.. you shouldn't have said things to make me fall so deep into it. why did you have to run away after i make my 100% commitment? you told me that you dislike my nonchalent attitude at first, so i change. i feel more for you and express all that i've felt but instead i get your retreat in return. if that's the case, you should have just let me remain the way i am. i believe that it's easier to change ourselves than to change other people, thus i changed to suit you. i wanted to match you in all ways preferably. you said you wanted to keep a low profile, so i remain silent. you said that you're busy, so i left you with all the available freetime, burning our weekends away. you said you wanna spend Valentines day with friends, i felt sour but leaves no objections. you gave empty promises, not once but twice, but again and again i still believe in you. you encouraged me in every exams, and i scored very well because i was blessed to have you. you gave your kisses to me and i thought i own the whole world. remember that forfeit game? that was nice.. remember the book selling event? i felt close to you. remember what happened at eunos? i felt eternity. remember bedok market? we shared the best food and you said you wanna feed me fat. remember the tees you bought me? we certainly look like a couple. remember the lollipop you gave me from your office? i still keep it with me. remember what happened in office before bookselling? what a special saturday morning, i thought. there's your 'good morning' and something fuzzy burns in my heart. remember the morning kisses in your car? im so damn lucky to have the front seat all by myself and the people in the vehicles next to us must be green with envy. remember what happened in the cab, you gave me something which i thought would represent everlasting love. remember our first date? you held my hands and walked along the streets. remember the movie? you gave me your jacket. it came as a shock at first but deep down i was warmed by your gesture. remember the escalator? that's our first hug dude. remember the pub? you taught me so many stuff. and you'd rather shiver than to have your jacket back. your hands were freezing cold but you still wanna leave the best for me. these i will never ever forget.. -050407-1058 Tuesday, April 03, 2007
 i happened to see this picture from irish's profile and it suddenly struck upon me that hey, we haven't been keeping in touch for quite some time and this is the so-called latest news from you. how ridiculous can it be and how pathetic it is for me to only know about all this from other people. im not a nosey parker who likes to poke my nose into every little thing but seeing this, i laugh at myself. whenever i look at your pic, my heart is like almost wrenching itself tighter than before and i feel like crying but i couldn't stop myself from looking at it. guess that's memories. tell me what to do. i can see those flashbacks every now and then because you've never really left my heart. "how have you been doing these days?" a burning question to ask and an urge to call. and i back out. my ears aren't there to hear unpleasant stuff so maybe because of that i'd rather shut them off. you may be happy out there, but im not. does fate really end here? my friendster song is for you, dear. how i wish i can call you this forever... -030407-2351
Monday, April 02, 2007
Once doesn't mean anything to meCome, show me the meaning of complete Where did our love go wrong? Once we were so strong How will I go on? When you told me you loved me Did you know it would take me the rest of my life To get over the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right When you let me believe That you were incomplete without me by your side How could I know, that you would go, that you would run Baby I thought you were the one Why can't I just leave it all behind? I, the passion so bright that I was blind Then something made me weak Talking in my sleep Baby I'm to deep, and you know I believed When you told me you loved me Did you know it would take me the rest of my life To get over the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right When you let me believe That you were incomplete without me by your side How could I know, that you would go, that you would run Baby I thought you were the one Your lips, your face Sending that time just can't erase My heart could break all over again When you told me you loved me Did you know it would take me the rest of my life To get over the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right When you let me believe That you were incomplete without me by your side How could I know, that you would go, that you would run Baby I thought you were the one
yesterday was april fools. if only you're a victim of pranks, then the day has served its purpose. i was actually hoping that all the problems i've encountered lately can turn out to be mere jokes which i can get over with. not to mention about the major crisis with pat now, i pray hard that i can wake up every morning thinking that its nothing more than a frightful nightmare. so, i set my personal message on msn as "can you fool me today?" yesterday. though its pure delusion, i find comfort in this hide-and-seek reality game. just when i thought that no one would pay attention to such meaningless message, garry's conversation popped out. yes, he fooled me with a silly website claiming that it works like a love calculator. *shhh..tell ya something. i encountered the same thing once but this time i let my guards down.* ya know what? i almost typed "garry ong"..phew..if not i dont know how we're gonna face each other at work. that stupid fella got his hands on my secret now. even though he wished us all the best, i knew that it will no longer happen. garry also told me to think positive and look forward. i should! i should look forward for new chances right? i should just pick myself up from the rubble and do something with my mood and then move on. said is easier than done. i can comfort myself with those sweet sayings but i still feel myself backing out from finding back trust and faith. i felt cheated over and over again and this baffles me. why am i so silly? or maybe there ain't dumbs or pros in this complex one-to one human relationship. all act equally impulsive and illogical simply because they let their hearts rule over their heads. but here another problem beckons. if everything is ruled by the head, then it would not be called love. heart is still the ultimate master.
i was blessed to have a supportive cousin who never fails to cheer me up in those bad times. this time is not an exception too. she smsed me, wrote me a testimonial and even scolded pat in her bloggie. thanks dear! i appreciate that :)) was it a mistake to love him? now that he's left akltg, i feel that some sort of connection between us is being cut off and the distance grows as far as that between heaven and earth. having his hp number is as good as not having it. im still fretting over whether or not to call him. i knew that long silence would eventually lead to the loss of everything. its not hard to imagine that we may end up being strangers. if i dont call and if he doesnt, that's it. i will never see him again or maybe if luck permits, we may just bump into each other in the streets. had lunch with family at a restaurant somewhere near mustafa shopping centre. a 12-course meal but it couldnt whet my appetite. perhaps my mood then was being naughty. bye dear..i hate to let go you know? -020407-1215 Sunday, April 01, 2007
i guess this time we're really over. ever since a month ago, i had a hunch that something's bad gonna happen and i actually couldn't visualise a future with us in it. only today i found out that pat had resigned from his work. little did i know that yesterday was his last day at work. what's going on? i seriously dont know. when irish told me about this only this afternoon, i gave out a loud "har?". even woei tang was shocked to see my response. maybe i should give him a call; maybe i shouldnt. if we must learn to stay positive through adversities, i can tell you that this crisis im facing right now is a big big ordeal. i lost faith and everything with it. im very tired. i've always been the one giving in, taking the initiative and it gradually becomes a chore which im sick of doing. this definitely is not an obligation but because i treasure this relationship alot, i dont mind. im so afraid to call him. when such fear settles in my heart, it furthermore emphasizes on the hairline crack of this relationship. can one person be completed without the other? perhaps the problem has long surfaced but i dare not face it. i'd rather treat it as something invisible and remain blinded to it. am i living a lie? i dont want to give up. i love him. because of this, i left office with a heavy heart. before that, i was having a conversation with woei tang at EG. dont know whether he noticed, i actually teared. but i was quick to change to a new topic when he looked at me. waited for garry at void deck. i was still very upset. my heart really sank and nothing seems to lift it up again. i feel like having a big cry tonight. heart aches.............. frankly speaking, my mood was greatly affected. i knew that i will be doing my first filing presentation later in the evening yet i could not stop the sadness conquering me. only when i started talking to garry i began to lift my mood and the presentation turned out to be a success. now my mood resets at 0 again..................................................................... -010407-0104 happy april fool's! wish all this is just a prank. can i wake up tomorrow morning and everything's resume to its happy state? |
