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stories biography escapes archives


the.girl


Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.

Screams
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
i remember that during my early secondary school days, we are required to hand in a so-called journal book on the following monday.
it is supposed to be a book where we pen down our thoughts and reflections, but i always have an issue of finding what to write.
gradually, it became a hassle which added on to my existing homework.
just that now, blog and journal serve the same purpose.

yea.
im so going to pen down my reflection here.

sometimes i do not understand myself, or perhaps i always do.
i lost my direction in life and i have doubts about my character.
i always knew that we must cherish the people whom we treasure in our heart.
but i find it hard to realise it.
and subconsciously my actions hurt people in one way or another.
whats wrong with me ah?
at one glance, i may be the sweet and friendly girl.
but im afraid that when time reveals the ugly me, people regret knowing me.
i cannot help it either.
is there a way to reform myself?

perhaps im too used to being alone,
thus building a social circle or not does not pose a problem to me.
friendship is a blessing but i think i can do without it.
thats not true right?!
i know.
we all need friends!
yet through the lonely times, i blame myself for being a boring person.
i dont want to see pity in people's eyes.
i dont like to pity myself too.
seriously, i dread this boring life as much as how i hate to open my eyes in the early morning.
i guess its time to have a round of drinks again.

i think i dont have the right to demand my future bf to give me creative surprises every day, coz they can also pick out my weakness.
its no wonder r/s dont last.

how am i feeling right now?
bored, regret, confused.
it must be a retribution for treating those people i know as strangers.
now i reap what i sow.

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