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stories biography escapes archives


the.girl


Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.

Screams
Thursday, June 03, 2010
seriously dont get it.
perhaps i am being more selfish as years passed and this has got something to do with how i was brought up.

i had always wanted a cake for my birthday cause i thought this is how people usually celebrate this important day and i certainly would like my loved ones to gather around me to sing a birthday song for me!
isnt this the norm?
although others may rebuke that birthdays do not necessarily must have a cake, i still hope for one every year.
but i still dont get it.
maybe when i was a toddler, ya..i recall now...
but as i grow up, the norm switched to being treated to meals and receiving red packets.
i think no one knows how badly i wish for a birthday cake.
to me, it signifies alot on how friends and loved ones appreciate and love me.
but sad to say, no one understands this, hence every year i spend a boring birthday which seems just like any ordinary day without any celebration.

this mentality inked deeply in my heart until one day notti gave me a new perspective.
he too told me that we do not neccesarily need a cake for birthday cause it is the thought that counts the most.
i still remember how he almost used a mooncake to substitute a birthday cake.LOL

im bad.
i do not celebrate mother/father's day and my parents' birthday.
sometimes knowing how some people actually make restaurant bookings just to celebrate these important dates, increases my guilt for not being filial.

argh!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know.
just feel that everything is pretence and very fake.
want us to celebrate bday with them just for the sake of being the same as what other children do with their parents?
maybe...im drifting further and further away from them, that's all.

040610-0032