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stories biography escapes archives


the.girl


Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.

Screams
Sunday, June 25, 2006
what on earth had i eaten for the past few days?my stomach hurts so badly.or maybe its because i ate irregularly?well,this is the price i have to pay.im listening to julia fordham's "happy ever after".what a nice song title!it paints a beautiful portrait of me and the person i love,living happily together like what it is always mentioned in fairytales.the stories about princes and princesses are fascinating and sweet but in real life i doubt these kind of delusive endings will ever happen.from young,these are only meant to coax us in believing that everything in store for us in this life is great and worth looking forward to.however,as im growing up,i gradually realise how stupid and gullible i was in the past.indeed such tricks had well-working effects on girls especially.as i yearn for such "perfect" love to happen in my life and as i yearn to be the fortunate princess having a prince of her own,i only got more hurt.perhaps these are just dreams to delude myself and which,to ignite the flame of hope within me and keep it burning.but still,as time goes by,i feel that im getting weary of continuing to believe because my vision is becoming blurrer.i could not see the thing which i believe in will happen to me.
im getting over monkie but at least keeping him as a friend though.just as he's about to leave my mind,its sad to say another comes in.its like the door is opened for monkie to get out,but it seems that another visitor has entered and he's about to stay for a moment.
even before i want to be committed and rectifying the problem in my head,i just wish to avoid it and pretend that the feeling has never gotten me.whats wrong with me?why do i have such feelings?im so confused.what does it mean?

[my heart is in a mess.my mind is wavering.i am trapped in a whirpool of weird feelings.oh gosh.]

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