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stories biography escapes archives


the.girl


Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.

Screams
Sunday, April 01, 2007
i guess this time we're really over. ever since a month ago, i had a hunch that something's bad gonna happen and i actually couldn't visualise a future with us in it. only today i found out that pat had resigned from his work. little did i know that yesterday was his last day at work. what's going on? i seriously dont know. when irish told me about this only this afternoon, i gave out a loud "har?". even woei tang was shocked to see my response. maybe i should give him a call; maybe i shouldnt. if we must learn to stay positive through adversities, i can tell you that this crisis im facing right now is a big big ordeal. i lost faith and everything with it. im very tired. i've always been the one giving in, taking the initiative and it gradually becomes a chore which im sick of doing. this definitely is not an obligation but because i treasure this relationship alot, i dont mind. im so afraid to call him. when such fear settles in my heart, it furthermore emphasizes on the hairline crack of this relationship. can one person be completed without the other? perhaps the problem has long surfaced but i dare not face it. i'd rather treat it as something invisible and remain blinded to it. am i living a lie? i dont want to give up. i love him.
because of this, i left office with a heavy heart. before that, i was having a conversation with woei tang at EG. dont know whether he noticed, i actually teared. but i was quick to change to a new topic when he looked at me. waited for garry at void deck. i was still very upset. my heart really sank and nothing seems to lift it up again. i feel like having a big cry tonight. heart aches..............
frankly speaking, my mood was greatly affected. i knew that i will be doing my first filing presentation later in the evening yet i could not stop the sadness conquering me. only when i started talking to garry i began to lift my mood and the presentation turned out to be a success.
now my mood resets at 0 again.....................................................................

-010407-0104 happy april fool's! wish all this is just a prank. can i wake up tomorrow morning and everything's resume to its happy state?