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the.girl
Im the classic virgoian who believes in perfection. Sometimes people dislike me because they find me acting too cold towards humans. Or maybe they just can't accept my high standards. So, love me or not, u decide.
Screams
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Friday, November 30, 2007
i reckon that life is meant to be enjoyed to its tiniest bits.rather than to live a life in sorrow and in tears, why not give it a super rock and roll? i'm so glad to see devilboy's pic! what a great pseudosmile on a plate!!!! anyway, can see he's enjoying his work.........:) but still, someone's not exactly very happy... don't dwell or live in the past. whatever wound that has inflicted on you, i pray that it would heal fast for you. that's for you girl.........:) i've gotten over my issue. when's yours? bought a purple cap today in school bazaar. my first cap in my whole lifetime. i used to think that caps are only for the tomboys, but hey, i love them now! the only issue is to get the right design. i bought a pair of shades too with rena over the weekend! my first decent shades! love it! though it isn't branded, it looks nice! hahahahaa.. ya..now i'm interested in stuff that can shield me from the outside world. kinda cool and mysterious.. that's my style now.. girls, the reason for putting"suay" in my nick is because...................... another failed opportunity to meet devilboy. he's there in kl yet i can't be over there. sobs........................................................ i should have taken part in this time's competition instead of the previous one if.........only i had known him earlier:) no fate! took some pics in the bus just now.. so glad that there are new pics! hahahahahahaha...            -301107-0110
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
flu medication+sleeping pills.......will i get the desired outcome? can i pop more sleeping pills? can i don't wake up tomorrow? can i pretend nothing had happened tonight? man..i feel so hurt! why do you have to lie? becoz of you, i forsake my dinner & starve for 10 hours. im sick and am still running a fever yet you blamed me for being late i could have stayed at home yet becoz of you i appeared. thats it! now u've told me how lousy i am in your eyes. thats it! everyone dislikes me now, i know. what is this? im a failure. imprisoned. & everything i do is WRONG! -271107-0124 Saturday, November 24, 2007
fortunately, no abnormality was detected in my eye.felt a sudden onset of irritation and blurry vision yesterday and thought that it might be some infection or something as it was coupled with lateral hyperemia. GOSH! my eye looked so small manz..... hence i called for sos. bugged jeric to check my eye today and he gladly accepted and came to school earlier when he shouldn't had. thanks thanks! no staining! hahahahahha..it was a false alarm. perhaps it was just a foreign body..... he always had to treat me as transparent. you know my character. i won't leave anyone out in a conversation though i may be focusing more time on one person. this fella. stupid idiot. letf me out in the entire mrt trip. if next time a female is present, i will never ever take a train with him. stupid immature and insensitive guy. hmpf. had 3 cups of wine at roadshow just now. shiok! i definitely can sleep well tonight. nites people...! will show you the durian pudding i ate just now in the next post! -241107-0211 Wednesday, November 21, 2007
at least my mood improved by 101%a vast drift from the previous mood right? you may wonder why........ devilboy cares for me! told me to drink more water coz my lips are dry...... but asked him how he know.. he said "i know d" LOL..err..since when? his concern really made me jump from my seat..in joy! & muacks me! haha cranky lah that guy! anyway..all the best to him for filming:) who knows..i gulped down 1 litre of water after that. -211107-0153 Tuesday, November 20, 2007
    i'm tired.
i need a rest. i need a break. i need a sleep. how i wish i can just close my eyes forever and sleep and don't wake up, so i won't experience this painful thing called "sleepy". i wanna close my eyes, so i won't see anyone in reality but in dreams 'coz they are more beautifully imagined than seen. to some people whom i can't see, i just had to dream of them. that's the only way to keep us close. i wanna close my eyes, so no one will disturb me, irritate me, or scold me. i wanna close my eyes, so i can cry in my sleep and pretend that all's in the dream. the power of sleep..............am i into depression? i finally knew what's about crying to sleep and crying to awake. i experienced them all in a night. nice~~~~~cry non-stop. perhaps that's my way of relieving stress. -201107-0115 Monday, November 19, 2007
sylvia is RANTING RANTING RANTING RANTINGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!why must life be such a shit ass? why can't life be a bed of roses? i hate this life, this world and everything! like my flufly habitat's description, i wanna be out of this world. space ship anyone? it doesn't pay to be a good girl. i hate home, hate school, hate assholes, hate EVERYTHING! i don't wanna stay at home, there's stress. i don't like school, there's even more stress. i hate assholes, they suck! i hate everything, 'coz the world is so unfair not to let me have them. i do not mean i have to have everything in the world, but the things i really want i do not have! life is miserable without freedom.( rena, u catch me?) to the extent i gain people's pity and........... SHUCKS! i need to chill out~ my inner cries are ballooning and soon they are going to explode. I FEEL SO STRESSED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! out of breath. -191107-1743 Thursday, November 15, 2007
relax..relax.....RELAX..i've been doing my best to curb my temper these few years..i swear i really did my best ok.. but these few days this problem frustrates me again! i'm seriously very stressed up in tests PLUS i sleep for only 4 hours everyday. all my energy is almost depleted so please be a kind soul..don't irritate me if not i shall fire at you! RARRRR! my eyes are already puffy so this upsets me even more. khidhidfhijfbjergrterjirgkofgvhnirfo!!!!!! i want sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! devilboy, glad that you're back home! i still miss you ALOT 这感觉已经不对。 我最后才了解。 -151107-1213 Sunday, November 11, 2007
long time didn't upload any pictures.. perhaps i'm too caught up with tests until i forgot to zi-lian.. today, with a little bit of free time available, i decided to take some pics..hehe there you go~~~~      
if ya had the most time in the world and not knowing how to spend them, you can go hunt for this korean drama called "lian ren" in youtube or wherever. & enjoy watching! great show..
saturday, and it's gone just like that! devilboy, how's your day? how did you spend your time today? i truly miss you. if free come to singapore leh...........................................................................................
-111107-0229 Saturday, November 10, 2007
things that don't interest me, disgust me.ya! and they make my hair stand. yes i do mean STAND! something like static...... hmm..i should be in KL Summit Hotel now if things had not gone wrong. perhaps having my bath or something... the reality still traps me in my birth country. ARRRRRGGH.. perhaps a few hours later i may be dating devilboy, having a nice meal and chatting...... dreams dashed! ok back to the irritating stuff. i felt uncomfortable when the wrong person was near to me. my instant reaction was slowly moving away, without alerting him. i hate to do this but i just feel DISGUSTED. spare some distance, if not a long distance between us okay??!!!!! look at me more..more..more..more.......... i wanna connect with you.. tell me, when will i have the guts to confess my feelings? people do change, especially if they had encountered some unpleasant stuff. i just had a brand new point of view towards relationship. if some people who can't accept it, leave it lor.. this kinda stuff varies among different individuals and there's no standard answer to it per say. don't confine ourselves or limit the choices that we have. don't just focus on a guy and waste your time there. but once again, if the day comes, i will just remain loyal to one. devilboy and go are important to me. get it? -101107-0208 Friday, November 09, 2007
f a t ei strongly believe that everything we did are fated. every choices we made, every path we chose, every outcome we created. that's heaven's decision for us. take me for example. all the guys i liked so far, don't like me. i felt guilty towards andrew though. all these...nonetheless, were acts of heaven's edict. but i'm sure i will find my guy someday.... 'til that day, i will cherish and love him even more.. i came back from vivo just now. went to meet go who supposedly should pass me my stuff. we met at the fountain. i saw him empty-handed, thinking he made fun of me or something. the fact is he left them in his car. ok.......... he said he's bored and wanted to shop for a pair of jeans. ok................ i recommended GAP and he went to try one of the jeans but turned out that the color didn't suit him. ok..................... now it's my turn to request him to accompany me to shop. shopped and bought a watch for 4th aunt. that's my promise to her:) oh ya! i saw mr chris at vivo..with his wife. wahseh..his wife is undoubtedly chio sia........ no wonder he always brag about his wife... haha..good taste ar, -cher~~!! he was wearing this superman tee.. very funny. i always see him in formal attire and yet today he's seen in tee! and superman's somemore. HAHAHAHAHAAH gotta tease him the next time i see him in school! bad thing is he saw go with me! then i looked back and saw that he turned back to look at us too! jialat liao..please don't let me hit the headlines k.... haha... and go drove me home after that. end of story. i dropped hints just now but whether or not he picked them up, will be FATED. awwww..how i wish that was a date for us... the least i knew was that devilboy logged in to friendster. yet, no news from him in msn. are you fine, boy? happy 27th gary! -091107-0126 Thursday, November 08, 2007
do you understand me?i guess those people who are reading my bloggie understand me only abit. not many people read my bloggie.....except suat hoon and rena.... sometimes, even i do not understand myself either. why are people made with such a complicated mind? why do we have to have emotions? why can't we be human woodblocks and live life by staring into the space? GO, you are really a gong kia. i attend to every minor details about you. when you said you wanted a cup, no one brought you one. being nice, i went to get for you. can you see the reason behind it? can you at least show some appreciation? so that i won't feel like i'm a silly girl, who contributes silently and being taken for granted. that makes me another gong kia too. sometimes i even felt that wo hen bu yao lian. where'd my pride gone to? i felt sour but i pretend to feel nothing as i did not want to cause any more misery to my heart. why on earth would you want to go to that kia si lang's house? are you'all more than just being friends? i feared, when i saw you smiling on the phone (she's on the line). please say what you mean ok? don't call me mei nv if you don't mean it. disgusting! then i'd rather you call my name straight. i don't like kia si lang. can't understand why you can mix with her. everything about her is just so uberly kia si lang! mad inside. went to kopitiam to get a can of iced green tea to simmer down. fuck lah. i emphasized to that aunty "a can of ICED green tea please..." and it turned out to be half-cold. added to my fury was the unexpected 45 min waiting for bus 100. kaoz. that's the longest i've ever waited for a bus! and that bus uncle caused me to waste 50cents. another asshole. whenever i'm down, i feel hungry more easily than often. now no more ice-cream. mommy bought home a huge box of doughnuts! yay! eat eat eat......best is until i puke. and i realise i have insomnia lately. mentally and physically i really do feel tired but i could not catch a wink. even doctor told me that i looked tired. yer...... i wanna concuss like before. suat hoon......................................lets go pubbing soon k? faster faster. there're so many things i wanna share with you. bursting inside liao.... i need support. "pseudo-depression" -081107-0116 Tuesday, November 06, 2007
am i gonna live by your pics?are we going to chat in msn, forever? you have not answered my question, boy.................. -061107-2357
i don't care if ya'll may call me fickle-minded.
'coz i can't deny my feelings anymore. i've always thought that one should stay loyal and hang on in whichever relationship that comes by as it shows the depth of your true love. now, my opinion changed a whole lot. love is about chemistry and FEEL. and this part is the weirdest thing! you know, that feelings come and go as soon as in a split second and this is why some married couple cheat on their partners. so, i think i may have liked him, purely because of some sparks that flew between us. since that day, he has never left my mind. i'm used to one-sided love and usually either the other person doesn't know how i feel, or reject me. well, i still will not surrender to my fate!!!! brain or heart? which one will you choose to follow? i guess i will not be able to go over and see him this weekend though how i wish i could fly straight to him. due to some restrictions. this may be my one and only chance. do i have to miss it? i hate to but reality doesn't permit. HOW HOW HOW?????????????????????????????????????????? often, the most frustrating thing gotta be the contradiction between the heart and the brain. yea..in reality i know that we're separated really far away and some unseen obstacles now seem to appear. but my heart strongly calls out to him and i could almost abandon and disregard any concerns or objections. if i have the money and the time, i could fly to wherever i want to see him. & is it wrong to fantasize over someone? i used to think that it's unethical but i'm very sure that each of us had at least once do so. my friend had once honestly told me that he did fantasize about me. errr..ok.. n we're still friends:) u're irresistible, boy.. -061107-2345 Sunday, November 04, 2007
how? how?there's this inner impulse that makes me wanna hug him all of a sudden! geez. -041107-0120 Saturday, November 03, 2007
i live with dreams.my goal is to become a model. though i hope to appear in fashion runway, i know my height's an absolute no-no. it gotta be 170cm and above......... shooting ads is not bad too! in other words, i just hope to be a model. that's my main purpose! oopsie..how can i get the deal? -031107-0126
i feel much better now, good grief!
perhaps it gotta do with the food i ate for dinner. diarrhea 3 times. shall i call that acute response? haha... im dehydrating my dear..........*gulping mouthfuls of water* how come my friends aren't having the best of luck currently? one had fallen sick and the other battling with his inner demon. GO is running a temperature while devilboy is going through an emotional crisis. what's this manz? it's no wonder life's a rollercoaster ride. it can bring you high up to the peak while sinking to the pit in a twitch of an eye. i hope to help them, maybe not alot but a little is better than nothing right? i wish to take care of GO. i wish to cheer devilboy up. "devilboy..i want you to be happy:) i wish to see the cheerful side of you. don't think too much boy....but if you want, can always think of me! hahahaha......if distance is not an obstacle, i would surely go look for you........you know, i care.hugs~'cause you're my friend, my attention will never be too far away from you:)" -fr:notti girl -031107-0053 |
