yesterday was april fools. if only you're a victim of pranks, then the day has served its purpose. i was actually hoping that all the problems i've encountered lately can turn out to be mere jokes which i can get over with. not to mention about the major crisis with pat now, i pray hard that i can wake up every morning thinking that its nothing more than a frightful nightmare. so, i set my personal message on msn as "can you fool me today?" yesterday. though its pure delusion, i find comfort in this hide-and-seek reality game. just when i thought that no one would pay attention to such meaningless message, garry's conversation popped out. yes, he fooled me with a silly website claiming that it works like a love calculator. *shhh..tell ya something. i encountered the same thing once but this time i let my guards down.* ya know what? i almost typed "garry ong"..phew..if not i dont know how we're gonna face each other at work. that stupid fella got his hands on my secret now. even though he wished us all the best, i knew that it will no longer happen. garry also told me to think positive and look forward. i should! i should look forward for new chances right? i should just pick myself up from the rubble and do something with my mood and then move on. said is easier than done. i can comfort myself with those sweet sayings but i still feel myself backing out from finding back trust and faith. i felt cheated over and over again and this baffles me. why am i so silly? or maybe there ain't dumbs or pros in this complex one-to one human relationship. all act equally impulsive and illogical simply because they let their hearts rule over their heads. but here another problem beckons. if everything is ruled by the head, then it would not be called love. heart is still the ultimate master.
i was blessed to have a supportive cousin who never fails to cheer me up in those bad times. this time is not an exception too. she smsed me, wrote me a testimonial and even scolded pat in her bloggie. thanks dear! i appreciate that :))

was it a mistake to love him?
now that he's left akltg, i feel that some sort of connection between us is being cut off and the distance grows as far as that between heaven and earth. having his hp number is as good as not having it. im still fretting over whether or not to call him. i knew that long silence would eventually lead to the loss of everything. its not hard to imagine that we may end up being strangers. if i dont call and if he doesnt, that's it. i will never see him again or maybe if luck permits, we may just bump into each other in the streets.

had lunch with family at a restaurant somewhere near mustafa shopping centre. a 12-course meal but it couldnt whet my appetite. perhaps my mood then was being naughty.

bye dear..i hate to let go you know?

-020407-1215

HATES!
-LIZARDS
-players
-unreasonable toots
-almond
-going for morning class
-being treated as transparent

LOVES <3
-baking
-cosmetics
-boozing (w/o getting a heavy head!)
-people who dote on me
-acts of service

Not looking anymore other than a stupid notti.

hey, if you know me well enough, i bet you'd LOVE ME!